Dark Roads
by SpringHiller09
Summary: When Carlisle looses his wife to a long battle against cancer,he hires Bella as a nanny for his two kids. But what happens when their professional relationship, turns into something far more difficult? Can he love again and still maintaining love for Esme
1. A Hundred Years

**Chapter One: A Hundred Days**

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><p>I took one last look at my darling Esme one last time as a single tear ran down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away, afraid my kids would see it.<p>

"Come on kids, lets go get something to eat." My mother suggested, trying to pull them out of the ICU room Esme was in.

"But, I wanna stay here with mom." My eldest, Emmett said. Emmett was fifteen and never showed a thought of fear until I told him his mother was in a coma from the cancer moving to her brain.

"Your mom will be here when you get back." My father tried, but they were resisting.

"I refuse to leave mom alone." Alice protested, squeazing her mothers hand.

"Alice, Emmett, please go with your grandparents." I said, trying not to show how I was really feeling. They tried protesting, but they soon grew tired of fighting a loosing battle. After they were gone, Esme's doctor and good friend of mine came into the room.

"She's brain dead, Carlisle. She won't ever recover from this. We can keep her breathing and her heart beating, but there isn't anything we can do for her." He said, and my mind spun. I didn't want to loose her, not like this. But if she would only live like this; a vegtable; I had to do what she thought was right. I also knew as a doctor myself that this was the worse state she could be in.

"I know..." I whispered as I took her hand in mine.

"I'm so sorry. The cancer spread too fast, we couldn't keep up with it." Aro tried telling me, things I had already been told.

"Can I have a minute alone with her?" I asked.

"Of course. Tell me when your ready." He said and left the room.

"Esme...my dear Esme. I am so sorry I can't be of more help. I am so in love with you and you have no idea what you have done for me. You gave me two great kids, who will always keep you with me. I love you...so much." I said my goodbyes but I wasn't ready for them to turn off the machines. Alice, Emmett and my parents arrived shortly after and stopped dead in their tracks and there color drained from their faces.

"Daddy?" Alice asked, walking up to me.

"Emmett, come over here." I said and my parents left us alone. He sat down next to me as Alice kept her stance behind me. "You're mother loved you very much. And we tried so hard to conquer the cancer, but it was too fast growing. Her body, will never recover from this...she will live but only like this. With tubes breathing for her and keeping her heart beating. Your mother and I talked when she found out about the cancer, and she told me if she was ever in this state, she would want to turn the machines off." I explained.

"No." Emmett said, standing up.

"Emmett, please. This is hard enough." I begged, grabbing ahold of Alice's small hand.

"You're giving up? Your giving up on mom aren't you?"

"Of course not. We've done everything we can..."

"Well you should have done more!" He yelled.

"Emmett..."

"I can't believe you...how could you?" He asked and stormed out of the room.

"Emmett..." I called but he was gone. I had to worry about Alice right now, she needed me more. "Alice, sweetheart..."

"Mom's...gonna die?" She asked, trying to hold back the tears. I became even more scarred. Alice was thirteen, how in the world was she supposed to go through her teenage years without a mother?

"Yeah, baby I'm so sorry." I said as she collasped into my arms. Aro came in a few minutes later, to ask if we were ready.

"Carlisle?" He asked and I looked up from Alice. "Are you ready to do this?" He asked.

"No...I never will be...but it's...time." I said as Alice fell into my chest again crying. Emmett came back in, reluctantly and huffy to spend her last moments of life with her. We each held her hands and the machines were turned off. Slowly, the machines began to stop their beeping and soon enough, the heart moniter had a steady ring telling us, she was gone. Emmett kissed her hand and then ran out of the room, holding back tears. Alice just fell into my chest again, her eyes never ran out of tears.

The drive home to the house was silent. Emmett refused to talk to me after I had 'killed their mother' and Alice was so drained, she couldn't even form words. He pulled into the driveway and Emmett quickly opened the door. He was just about to close it when he said the worse thing Carlisle could here at this moment.

"I hate you." He said angrily and slammed the door, making Alice cry harder.

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><p>It was the end of the day and I was exhousted. The night before was spent in Alice's room trying to get her to sleep...so I had no sleep. Emmett was still refusing to speak to me and I was burying my wife in a day. Life...sucked to say the least. I looked at and saw Emmett standing near the casket and I thought it was as good as any to talk to him. I walked up and the closer I got, I could see him holding her hand, moving his lips to speak to her.<p>

"Hi, Emmett." I said softly.

"What do you want? Your the reason we're here." He said angrily, not looking at me.

"Emmett, no I'm not. I didn't do this."

"You...pulled the plug. She could still be alive if you hadn't..."

"Emmett, a machine was breathing for her. She wasn't alive." He said and his face softened.

"I know...but..." He said as he began tp cry for the first time since Esme had died.

"It's going to be a hard few years, without her here, but you know her. She wouldn't want you to fret over this...and she defineatly wouldn't want you talking to me the way you have been for the last few days." I said after everyone had gone and it was just family lingering.

"I know...I'm sorry, Dad. I was just so...angry and I needed to blame it on someone and Alice would have exploded if I tried blaming it on you...putting the blame on someone was just easier than facing it, I guess."

"I understand...but we need each other as a family right now, Alice is a mess, she's going to need stability. Her whole world is crumbling beneath her." I said, looking at my daughter who had pulled a chair up to the casket, just sitting with her.

"Is she going to be okay?" Emmett asked after starring at her for a long time.

"I hope so." I whispered before I saw my mother coming up to Emmett and I.

"I think it's time to get Ali out of here, she's going to go crazy if she continues to stare at Esme." My mother suggested. I looked over at Alice and she was right, she was practically hanging on Esme.

"Yeah, I think so too. Em, help me out." I said, getting up and walking over to Alice.

"Ali..." I started, she'd always gone by that name, claiming 'Alice' was "too old" for her. It had been Esme's late mother's name and it was a tad out of date but I'd always loved it.

"Alice. I wanna be called Alice." She said, no emotion in her voice. "Mom named me Alice...she liked that name...I want to be called Alice." She said as she got worked up over nothing.

"Okay...Alice...it's time to go home now." I said, tugging her arm.

"No...I don't want to leave her, she'll be all my herself."

"Alice, sweetie, we have to leave. We can't stay here." I tried.

"No. I'm staying. You and Em can go home." She said and I saw her knuckles turning white from holding the side of the casket so tightly.

"Alice..."

"NO!" She yelled. She left me no choice. Emmett had to pry her hands off the casket and carry her to the car. She kicked and screamed the whole way home, throwing a full out temper tantrum, but once Emmett put her into her bed, she fell right asleep.

"What in the world am I going to do, Mom?" I asked, playing with the spoon in my coffee later that night after Emmett had gone to bed.

"We'll all be here to help, honey." She said, stroking my arm.

"I know...and I'm grateful for all you've done durning the past few days. But Ali...excuse me, Alice is going to loose it. It's been three days and I'm already at loss of how to take care of a thirteen year old girl. Heck I barely know how to raise a fifteen year old boy...and I was one."

"Okay. One, Emmett doesn't really need 'raising' anymore, he needs dicipline. Second, your sister and I are right on the other side of town. We can be here in ten minutes."

"Mother, I know. Alice through a _temper tantrum _while we were leaving the funeral home today. What's going to happen tomorrow when we finally...bury Esme?" I asked, my mind reeling. I was not prepared to be a single father.

"Have you considered hiring help?" She asked.

"Help?"

"Like a nanny..."

"They aren't children, Mom. They are teenagers...even Alice now."

"Yes, and now you are left to parent them yourself. It might be nice to have help living here, someone Alice can always depend on. Victoria and I will be here in ten minutes if needed, but having someone to help you all the time, might make your life easier."

"I mean...I guess. How do I find one though? An AD in the paper?" I asked, joking.

"Yeah, you'd be surprised how many people would be will to take the job. Just think about it, okay?" She asked standing up and putting out coffee mugs in the sink. "I'm going to be. Night honey...and please, try to sleep in your own room tonight...I don't want to find you on the couch again tomorrow morning."

"I can't help it, Mom. It...hurts too much to be in there." I said and she kissed the top of my head and grabbed a clump of my hair, bringing my ear close to her mouth.

"Life, will go on, darling." She whispered and walked out of the kitchen. I sighed, looking at the family picture that had been taking on Emmett's seventh birthday. Esme was kneeling beside Emmett, her hands wrapped around his neck. Alice was on my shoulder's as I knelt beside Esme, my arms around her waist. We were all so happy, and now, that was...gone.

* * *

><p>"Living God, you have lit the day with the sun's light<br>and the midnight with shining stars.  
>Lighten our hearts with the bright beams<br>of the Sun of Righteousness  
>risen with healing in his wings,<br>Jesus Christ our Lord.  
>And so preserve us in the doing of your will,<br>that at the last we may shine  
>as the stars for ever;<br>through the same Jesus Christ our Lord.  
>Amen." The minister prayed at Esme's funeral service the next day. I starred up at him, my face hard. I was tired of crying, tired of feeling weak. I looked over at Alice who had brought her knees up to her face, burying it in her dress. I wrapped my arms around her shoulder and she didn't even look up.<p>

"Esme's eldest and only son would like to give her eulogy." The minister spoke and I tapped his knee before he got up and walked up front.

"Mom, no truer words could ever be spoken by a son expressing his love and gratitude for his mother. I owe so much to you—from taking care of my sisrer and I when we were younger to always being there for me over the years. There was no way that I could ever repay you for all the sacrifices you made. All I could ever hope and pray for was to be the son you would always be proud of just as much as I was proud of you...You see Mom I was the one who was truly blessed. Mom, you were always an "Angel" to me, and all that I am and ever hope to be I owe to you. You are forever in my heart and I know right now you are looking down upon me and feeling very, very proud that I was you son, and I know Ali was proud to call herself your daughter...thank you." He said before falling into tears. I knew he was trying to be brave for his sister, but he himself was tired of hiding it.

The funeral seemed to drag on for days. Everyone who spoke, seemed to speak slowly. I just wanted this horrid day to end, I wanted to take my children home and relive great memories with them, but I knew as long as Alice was in this condition, we wouldn't be doing that for a long time. Once we were at Esme's grave sight, Alice tried climbing into the whole that would soon be filled with her mother's casket. It took me, my father, Emmett, and my brother, Felix to pull her up and carry her to the car. Her life, would never be the same and I grew scarred in thinking she'd never come to terms with her mother's death.

The wake had ended and all that remained was my family and the kids. Alice was asleep in her room and Emmett was locked up in mine and Esme's old room, looking at old pictures I presumed.

"Dad?" I heard his voice call from the doorway to the living room.

"What, Em?" I asked, not wanting to move from this space.

"When was this taken?" He asked, showing me a picture of Esme and I. It was right before I had proposed to her. We were sitting on the Florida beach, someone had just been taken photagraphs and was somehow able to capture the moment before, and the actual proposal. Esme was sitting with her back leaning against me. We looked son in love, but I look like I was about to throw up. "you look like you're going to be sick." He joked as I took the picture from his hand.

"This...was right before I proposed to her. A photographer was just taking pictures and we were lucky enough to have had him there to take this picture for us."

"You look so...in love. How'd you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Keep your relationship going for so long. It seems impossible to keep a relationship."

"Emmett, son, you're fifteen. You and Jane dated for like two months. When it's right...you'll know and you won't ever want to let her go." I said as I heard footsteps coming from upstairs and then down the stairs. "Is this the first time she's been out?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think...Dad, she's really starting to scare me...she hasn't eaten since Mom...died."

"I know...she has to heal in her own way though. And I've made her eat. She isn't starving." I assuered him as Alice came into the room.

"Hey, Ali." My younger brother Felix greeted.

"It's Alice, Uncle Felix." She barked at him.

"Sorry, hi ALICE." He said and she rolled her eyes at him before disappearing into the kitchen.

"Well, Esme's death could not have come at a worse time...oh boy. This is going to be a long few months." I sighed.


	2. Miles That Seperate

**Chapter Two: Miles That Separate**

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><p>Esme had been gone for a two weeks and I was finally taking my mother's advise and putting an ad in the paper for a 'nanny' Emmett was...adjusting. He was now able to go to school, but that's all he did. He hadn't been to basketball or baseball practice the whole time. But he was doing a lot better than Alice was. She never came out of her room and we had to resort to home schooling until she accepted her mother's death and would go back to school. The school consouler said I had to let her do this at her own pace, but her own pace was scarring me.<p>

"Alice, honey dinner is ready." I called from the outside of her door. "Alice, come on. Unlock the door." I said and I heard a 'click' from her side of the door. I opened the door slowly, but there was no sign of her, until I looked over at the bed. She was completely under the covers, dirty cloths, and paper covered the floors. "Get up. It's time for dinner." I said, shaking her gently.

"I'm not hungry." She wined.

"I don't care. Now, I made you some soup...you don't have to eat what Emmett and I are but you have to eat something, kiddo." I said, rubbing her back. She quickly brushed me aside and I felt a slight bit of hurt.

"I don't want soup! I want mom!" She yelled.

"Alice, you not eating isn't going to bring your mother back. I'm so so sorry this happened to you, Ali, but you can't stop living your life. Mom would want you to go on as best you could. She wouldn't want you to resort to home schooling because you couldn't get out of bed." I said and it hurt. I missed Esme just as much as Alice did and I so wish I could crawl under the covers and forget the world. But I had my kids to think about, forgetting the world wouldn't bring Esme back.

"I don't...CARE!" She yelled, pushing me away.

"That's it, Alice! I'm telling you dinner is ready so if you aren't downstairs in five minutes..."

"What you'll ground me? Oh no, I won't be able to go to the mall with the friends I don't want!" She yelled, rolling her eyes. Alice hadn't let anyone come over and see it, she was really starting to worry me. After about five minutes of fighting with her, I gave up on getting her to come downstairs. My mother offered to take her the soup after we were done eating, and I was beginning to get really frusterated.

"Hey, Dad?" Emmett asked as we were doing the dishes.

"What, Em?" I asked.

"I want to quit baseball and basketball." He said and I had been expecting this, but it still caught me off guard.

"Why? You love sports."

"I just...don't feel like playing anymore. Besides, I feel like I should be here with Ali."

"Emmett, Alice won't get any better if you quit sports. It might make her feel worse, guilty like she made you quit or something. She's just going to continue to keep herself locked up." I explained as my mother came into the kitchen, holding the empty bowl. "How is she?"

"She ate...I practiacally had to feed her, but she ate. Carlisle, son, I know you want to let her do this her way...but her way is just going to make it better. Keeping herself locked in her room will do more bad than good. She won't get better without professional help."

"She'll refuse anything we offer her. She won't want to go."

"Then make her. You're still her father, honey. What you say still goes. Leaving her in her room by herself is going to make it worse. She'll go crazy."

"Emmett, can we finish this later? I need to speak with your grandmother alone." I said and he walked out of the kitchen into his room, slamming the door behind him. "Oh my god." I sighed, sitting down and rubbing my forehead. "I knew this was going to be really hard but..."

"But what, sweetie?" My mother asked, sitting down next to me.

"I just didn't think this is the way she'd react. I mean I knew she'd be a mess but...not this bad. I don't know how to help her."

"Carlisle?"

"What, Mom?"

"Have you tried and helped yourself?" She asked and I looked at her confused. "Have you taken the time you need for yourself? These last two weeks, honey you've done a great job taking care of the kids...trying to help them deal with Esme's death but, you need time for you. For you to grieve."

"I know...I just am afraid once I start grieving...I won't stop. I feel I'll never be able to pull myself out of it. I need to be here for the kids."

"Honey, your father and I are here. You need time to yourself."

"I'll be fine. Really I will be, but right now I need to focus on Emmett and Alice."

"DAD!" Emmett screamed from upstairs, sounding alarmed.

"Emmett?" I called as I got up and moved to the foot of the stairs.

"Come...now!" He yelled, sounding scared. I began running upstairs and into the bathroom where he was calling from. He was propping Alice against the bathroom wall, hitting her face.

"Alice?" He yelled and I rushed over and knelt beside her. "I...I don't think she's breathing!" He paniced. I looked around the bathroom and found Esme's medicine bottles...empty.

"God...MOM! CALL 911!" I called and had Emmett hand her to me. I began doing the heimlich maneuver hoping she'd throw most of it up. "Oh Alice." I cried as I heard the sirens in the near distance. Three EMT's burst into the bathroom moments later, ripping her from my grip. Two of the EMT's put her on the gurney and but a mask over her mouth as they rolled her out. Emmett tried following but the third EMT held him back.

"That's my little sister!" Emmett protested, still trying to push past the EMT.

"You can't go with her, sir. Now, what all did she have?" He asked, turning to me.

"All of these. They were all almost full. My wife had just gotten them filled before she went into the coma. Is she going to be okay?" I asked, trying to hide my fear.

"If she wasn't without oxygen for too long, she should be. Now you come with me." He said pointing to me. Both Emmett and I followed but the EMT told Emmett he had to stay put.

"Dad!" He begged.

"Stay here with Grandma. I'll call you when I know something." I said, running outside and into the ambleance. I took ahold of Alice's small hand and looked at her sweet face, a single tear streamed down my face. "Please...please stay with me, baby." I whispered. We got to the hospital and she was taken to get her stomach pumped and I was not allowed to go with her. I paced around the waiting room, praying someone would come out and tell me good news.

An hour later, a friend of mine stepped through the swinging doors and I ran over to him.

"Marcus...oh god...please..." I stuttered, unable to get a full sentence out.

"She'll be okay, Carlisle. Emmett must have found her right after she passed out, she wasn't without oxygen for very long. You were really lucky this time." I said and I practically knealed next to him to say a thank you to god. "Want to see her?"

"Yes...I gotta call my parents first." I walked away and took out my phone, dialing Emmett's number.

"Dad!" He answered, sounding eager.

"She's going to be okay. You found her just as she passed out...they say she's going to be fine." I said and I heard him a sigh. "I want you to come asap."

"Okay, we're on our way." He said before hanging up. Marcus led me to the room where Alice was asleep. She looked so peaceful, and I couldn't help but cry when I saw her breathing. I walked over and took the seat next to her, taking her hand. Her eyes fluttered opened and she looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes I fell in love with the day she was born.

"Alice." I cried when she gently squeezed my hands. "Why would you do that?" I asked, trying to stay calm.

"I wanted...I wanted to be with mom...I wanted to die..." She cried, tears filling her eyes.

"Oh...baby...I am so sorry this is happening to you...but you can't do that again. I need you, your brother needs you. We're a family and we need each other now more than ever." I said.

"I'm so sorry, Daddy. I won't do that ever again." She cried and I stood up and leaned over, wrapping my arms around her neck, holding her tight. A few minutes later, the door swung open and heard Emmett walking closer to her.

"Alice...oh my god...are you crazy?" He asked, sounding angry rather than relieved. "We need you, Alice. Don't EVER do that again." He said, hugging her tightly.

"I won't." She said and I loved seeing them act like they should towards each other...like they cared about each other.

"Carlisle." I heard my father whisper from the doorway. I quietly walked out of the room, trying not to disturb their brother sister moment and shut the door.

"Now are you convinced she doesn't need a professional?" My mother asked, sounding scared.

"Yes, mom. I was going to talk James to see if he knew anyone good." I said, and looked back through the window in the door. "I can't believe I almost lost her too. I almost lost my little girl. I don't know what I would have done." I whispered.

"Don't pounder the what if. Go in and celebrate her life. Go." My mother urged. I listened and slowly opened the door, but stopped when I heard their conversation.

"You really scared Dad...Alice he just lost mom, he didn't need to loose you too." Emmet said.

"I know, but Mom was my best friend. I didn't think there would be a point to living anymore." She said and I walked inside.

"No point in living anymore? What about your dream to own the most pair of shoes?" I joked, sitting next to her. They both laughed before Alice turned to me.

"When can I go home?" She asked.

"A few days. They want to keep and eye on you, kiddo. And you have given me no choice but to get you professional help. And I won't force you into it, but Emmett I think it'd be good for you too." I said and his head shot up and looked at me like I had two heads.

"You going to force me to go?" She asked.

"Yes. I miss you, Ali. You haven't been the same and I need my Ali-baby." I said, nudging her side. She giggled and finally agreed, making me feel better not having to force her. She was discharged from the hospital four days later and I was thrilled that Alice was finally coming around.

* * *

><p>Three weeks had passed and Alice had finaly agreed to go back to school as I looked for a 'nanny' to help me with my two kids. I had already met with what seemed like hundreds, none of them seemed right. I was going to call it a day, but there was one last person who came to the house for the interview.<p>

"Carlisle? Honey there is someone here for the interview." My mother said at the door of my office.

"Mom, can you ask her if we can do it tomorrow? I can't take much more of this." I said.

"Nope...she seems perfect. I think you'll like her." My mother pleaded and I gave in. I had my face in my hands when I heard a soft knock. I looked up and saw a young girl, late twenties I assumed. She...was very beautiful. Long, dark brown hairs, dark brown eyes, thin but not too thin. Just...perfect.

"Hi, Mr. Cullen, I'm Bella Swan and I'd like to apply for the nanny job." She said, walking farther into the office.

"Right, have a seat, Miss Swan." I said motioning her to the chair that sat across from my desk.

"Thank you, and please, call me Bella." She said. Bella, that was a pretty name.

"So, can you tell me all of your experience with kids? I mean they aren't really kids anymore...teenagers technically but anyway." I said and she giggled.

"I have a a secondary teaching degree from Washington University...I actually working on getting my doctorate."

"So, why aren't you teaching at some big fancy private school?" I asked.

"Haven't found the one I want yet. I figured doing this, would give me a sense of how the teenagers act. I want to write my senior paper on it. And I thought this would be the perfect place."

"So you want to observe my kids?" I asked, becoming unsure.

"Their names would be changed in my paper, and I wouldn't be working on it all the time. This is my last requirement so I don't have to go to any classes, just writing the paper and I'll be able to graduate. grad school." She said, sounding eager.

"Do you have any idea what you are getting yourself into?" I asked before I knew what I was asking.

"Yes. I do. I heard about your wife, read it in the paper before I saw your ad...so tragic and I have a minor in teenage psychology so, if there is ever a major issue, I would know how to handle it."

"That...could be very useful. Alice has been in therapy twice since her mother died, and she's still refusing to eat anything and she can't go a day without having a breakdown in school and having to be picked up by my mother halfway through the day." I explained, beginning to feel stressed again.

"It's normal. She lost her mother at a key point in her life. It's hard."

"You lost your mother?" I asked.

"Not to death, but she and my dad divorced and she didn't want anything to do with me. She wanted to 'start fresh' her words, not mine."

"Oh...that...sucks." I joked.

"Mr. Cullen. I love kids and always have. You would not regret giving me this job. I promise."

"Well, Bella. I believe you. It is safe to say I have made a good choice. You got the job." I said.

"Really, just like that?"

"I know what I like. I see you as a big help to Alice and Emmett."

"Thank you...so much Mr. Cullen." She said, trying to keep her excitement in.

"Please call me Carlisle."

"I really mean it. You won't regret giving me the job." She said as her excitement grew.

"I trust that. Now, the hardest part...you want to meet the kids?" I asked and her eyes grew wide.


	3. So Many Wars

**Chapter Three: So Many Wars**

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><p><span>Bella POV<span>

"Now, the hardest part...you want to meet the kids?" He asked and I felt my eyes grow wide, but I knew this was apart of the job.

"Of course. Yes." I said, taking a deep breath.

"Okay, well why don't you come wait in the living room while I go and get them." He said and walked away upstairs. I took a moment to look around the room. It was beautifully decorated. Beige pain on the wall with off white couches and chairs with bright orange and yellow pillows to match. I walked over to the mantel to look at the pictures they had placed and this one picture in particular caught my eyes. It must have been taken at least seven or eight years ago. The boy looked about eight and the girl looked around five or six. They were each placed on their parents back, smiling happy. It seemed so unfair that they had to loose their mother so young. I heard a throat being cleared and began to feel snoopy. I turned around to see Carlisle back with his two kids.

"Kids, this is Bella. She's going to be helping me take care of you." Carlisle introduced. "Bella, this is my son, Emmett." He said, pointing to the very big fifteen year old boy.

"Hi, Emmett." I said, beginning to feel awkward.

"Hey..." He said and starred at me. I saw Carlisle punch his side and he immediately stopped starring and turned his attention to the ground.

"And this is, Ali..."

"Alice!" The girl corrected.

"Sorry, this is Alice." he said.

"Hi, Alice..." I began before she became very put off. She pressed her lips together and quickly turned around and ran upstairs. "What did I do?" I asked.

"Don't worry about it. She hasn't talked to anyone new since Mom died." Emmett explained to me and I nodded.

"Em, can you go check on her?" Carlisle asked and Emmett left, leaving us alone together. "So, since that didn't work as I planned, do you want a tour?"

"Sure." I said, and began following him through a swinging door and into the kitchen.

"This is the kitchen."

"Really?" I joked.

"Ha...I guess it was pretty obvious. Help yourself to anything you'd like. Want to follow me upstairs?" He asked, leading me up the stairs. "This is wear you'll be sleeping. Please, make yourself at home." He said, gesturing to a pretty decently sized room.

"Thank you. Do you think...Alice will ever warm up to me?" I asked and he starred at me, his face hard.

"I sure hope so. My wife, was her best friend. She has friends at school, but...Esme and her were very close. Alice was home schooled up until third grade so that gave them even more time together."

"And Emmett?"

"He just needs to adjust. He should warm up pretty quick. Don't worry about him. But try and keep him in line. Ever since Esme died, he's been trying to sneak out of baseball and basketball practice and I don't want him quitting, so please if he comes home and you know he has practice, don't force him but please try and make him go. He normally listens it just takes some...begging." He said.

"Okay..."

"I'll give you all their schedules and other things tomorrow when you move in. My mom comes over every Thursday and cooks...she's been doing this since Emmett was born so it isn't a knew thing. Alice used to have dance on Wednesday and Saturday but she hasn't been going, so I was kind of hoping after she warms up to you, you could try and convince her to go back."

'Of course. I'll do everything I can for these kids." I assured him.

"You have no idea how helpful you will be...especially with Ali."

"Why doesn't she like Ali anymore?"

"She has always hated the name Alice, claiming it was too 'old' it was Esme's late mothers name...but ever since her mother died, she's been wanting people to call her Alice because that's what her mother wanted her to be called...I didn't have the heart to tell her Esme had every intention of calling her Ali, but oh well. So, I have to be at the hospital at ten tomorrow, so nine tomorrow morning?" He asked.

"That sounds great. And thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me..." I said as we neared the front door.

"Of course, you were the right choice. Goodnight, Bella." He said, opening the door for me.

"Night, Carlisle." I said, walking down the steps of the house and into my beat up old truck. I drove back to his house and was excited to see Edwards silver Volvo sitting in the driveway. "Babe? I'm here!" I called as I walked upstairs into his bedroom.

"Hey, so how'd it go?" He asked, pulling me into his arms.

"Great, I got the job."

"Bells, that's great!" He said, kissing me lightly on the lips. "I wish you didn't have to live there...I want to be with you, Bella Forever." He said and I pushed him away.

"I want to be with you too, Edward. You know that, but I need to focus on school and getting my doctorate right now. You understand right?" I asked, grabbing his hand. He sighed and looked away but quickly returned his eyes to mine.

"Of course I do. I just can't help it, I'm so in love with you." He said and I leaned into him and kissed him.

"I love you too...that won't change in the next year and a half it takes to finish grad school." I said and he kissed me again, more passionately than before. I began playing with the buttons on his shirt as he walked us towards the bed. The faint beeping of my alarm woke both of us.

"What is that for?" He asked, sitting up.

"I gotta go home and get my things together. And I have to shower, sorry babe." I said as I put my panties back on. He sighed and got out of bed.

"I know, I get it. New job!" He said, rolling his eyes as he put his boxers on.

"What is with you? You've been acting like this since I told you I was interested in the job."

"You always have an excuse to leave, Bella. Or to not be fully commited. Or to not marry me." He huffed.

"Hey, you agreed, I needed to finish school first. This is everything I've been working for."

"You're a nanny! You clean up snotty kids dishes and help them with their homework."

"See you don't even get why this job is important. Goodbye." I said opening the front door, slamming it behind me. I drove back to my apartment and began packing as the essentials I could in one trip. I'd soon have to put my apartment up for rent and completely move out but for now, it was nice to still have a place to go.

* * *

><p>"You're right on time." Carlisle said when he opened the door.<p>

"Well, I have to make a good impression don't I?" I asked and he laughed. He helped me bring my bags upstairs and left me to myself to pack. About forty-five minutes later, I was almost done packing when I heard a faint knock on the door.

"I'm going to be heading off to work now. Help yourself to anything you'd like. Emmett gets out of school at two forty-five, but usually doesn't get home until three and Alice gets home around three-fifteen. Emmett had basketball today, but I' sure he is going to not go so please try to get him to go." He said, speaking in fast forward.

"Got it." I said nodding my head.

"And please make sure Alice eats something. She hasn't been eating much since Esme passed and she's getting a little too skinny."

"I will be sure to have her eat. I'll be fine. Go to work." I said, walking over to him and pushing him through the house. Once I had the house to myself, I thought this would be as good a time as any to begin working on my research for the research part of the paper. I had been working for about two and half hours before my phone began to ring.

"Hi." I said dryly, still angry at him for this morning.

"Hey...Bells I'm really..."

"Sorry. I know Edward you always are, but that doesn't seem to stop you from doing it over and over again." I said, beginning to yell.

"I know. But it gets so frusterating. Sometimes I don't even feel like I have a girlfriend."

"Sorry, my schooling and career has always come first and you know that."

"You're right. I do. I knew that when we began dating, but just because we get engaged, doesn't mean we have to get married right now. We can wait." He tried.

"You're right. And we need to talk, but I can't right now. I'm working on my paper. Sorry, I gotta go."

"See! There it is! You always have an excuse to not talk to me."

"Bye Edward." I said and hung up my phone, throwing it on the couch angry. The rest of the afternoon passed quietly and quickly. I worked on my paper for most of the afternoon, but then it came to the point where I was spinning I had been working too long. I decided to make cupcakes and they were just about done when the backdoor swung open.

"Hi, Emmett." I said as he threw his backpack on the kitchen table.

"Hey. Cupcakes?" He asked as I pulled them out of the over.

"Got board. They should cool down pretty fast. Your dad tells me you have basketball practice today."

"He told you to talk to me, didn't he?"

"Maybe." I said, laughing a little bit.

"Well, I don't want to play anymore."

"Tell you what, let these cool so I can ice them and then we'll talk, okay?" I asked and he agreed.

"I'm just gonna go change out of my uniform." He said and I declared the cupcakes were ready to be iced. I was just finishing the last one when he came back into the kitchen, in sweats and a t-shirt.

"Sit." I said, pointing to a kitchen chair and putting the cupcakes down on the table. "So, why all of a sudden do you not want to play?"

"I just...don't like it very much anymore."

"Yes, but you not liking it anymore happened right after your mother died." I said and he dropped his head. "I know you are in pain, but quitting something you used to love...isn't going to make you feel better. It'll make you feel worse." I said and he seemed to be listening.

"I know..and I know my mother wouldn't want me to quit because she isn't here but..."

"Your hurting. I get that. But, sports might be a good outlet to get all your anger and sadness out."

"My dad is still making me go. I've been going for five weeks and I don't feel any better after practice."

"Because you are focusing on the fact you don't want to be there. Focus on hitting that baseball really hard. Think of it as the person you hate most. I did that once...made me feel SO much better."

"Really?"

Really. Now, have a cupcake and get ready for basketball practice." I said and he laughed. We continued to talk and got along surprisingly well.

"Glad you've already found a way to replace mom!" I heard Alice shout from the doorway. I turned around and tears were streaming down her face and she was fuming.

"Ali, chill. She isn't trying to replace mom..."

"Well it looks like she already has!" She yelled and ran upstairs, slamming her bedroom door.

"Don't worry about it, she's a little to emotional. She isn't thinking clearly. She is a good kid...but she took mom's death the hardest." Emmett explained before getting up. "Thanks for the snack. I'll call Demetri and see if he can ride me to practice." He said before running upstairs to change. I took a deep breath before getting up, taking the dishes to the sink and walking upstairs. I stood in front of her mirror for what seemed like ten minutes before getting up the courgae to actually knock. She opened the door and her face was immediately angry.

"What?" She asked, shifting her weight so all of it was on her right hip.

"I wanted to talk to you." I said, trying to stay calm.

"Fine, talk."

"Let's take this into your room." I suggested and she sigh, but let me in before closing the door.

"What?"

"I know what your dealing with. Loosing a mother is hard."

"You...lost your mom?" She asked, her face softening.

"Not to death, but yes I lost my mother. My parents divorced when I was ten I think and my mother said she didn't want anything to do with me when she lft for florida. She said she needed a 'fresh start.' And I know that if I truly need her, she will still be there for me, but it still hurt when she left."

"Yeah, well you already said it. She's there is you would truly need her. It isn't the same."

"No, it isn't. But that didn't make it hurt any less. Your mother died loving you, and your brother. You are so blessed, Alice. You don't even realize how blessed you truly are."

"Yeah, going through my teenage years without a mother...s blessed right here."

"No that part is going to suck. But you have a father who would take a bullet for you. Your brother would gladly kick someone's butt for hurting you. Even though your mother 'isn't here' she always will be, if you keep her in your heart. Am I saying it sucks any less? No. All I'm saying is that there is still a lot of good in your life."

"I...guess you have a point." She said.

"So...want a cupcake?" I asked handing her a plate. She began to take it but quickly retracted.

"No, I'm not hungry." She said and I knew this is what Carlisle was talking about.

"Okay, but I want you to eat dinner."

"Deal." She said after a long pause. I left her alone to do her her homework. Dinner was just about done when Carlisle came through the back door.

"You cooked?" He asked after he came in.

"Yeah...cajon chicken...I hope thats okay."

"Yeah..but Ali can't eat spicy."

"Yeah, she told me that.I made the sauce on the side, you Emmett and I can just put it on when we eat."

"Sound great. I'm going to go change and I'll be right down." He said, walking out of the kitchen. This job was going to take some time, but I was already feeling like I was making some sort of difference in their lives.


	4. Speak to Me

**Chapter Four: Speak to Me**

* * *

><p><span>Bella POV<span>

It had been four months since I began working for the Cullen's. It got easier day by day. Emmett was back to doing ten things at once, and Alice was slowly becoming part of life again. I had to smile, knowing I was helping make that improvement.

"Bella!" Emmett called from the kitchen. I sighed a little bit, I was attempting to work on my paper but soon put my laptop aside and got up.

"What is it?" I asked and saw him sitting on the kitchen island, a huge cheesy grin on his face. "What are you scheming about?"

"Rosalie."

"Excuse me?"

"Rosalie."

"I heard her name, Em. What about her?" I asked, kicking him off the island.

"She's the one."

"The one?"

"That I'm going to ask to the Spring Fling next month." He said and I finally understood, he had a crush.

"I see."

"See what?"

"You have a crush on this girl, don't you?"

"Psh no. I just don't want to be the only guy in my group of friends to not have a girl for the dance." He lied through his teeth.

"Right. Stop lying Emmett...you are a horrible liar." I laughed and he began to blush.

"He get's that from me." Carlisle said as he came in through the back door.

"Hey, Dad." Emmett greeted as he set his things on the counter. "Can I go out with Jacob tonight?"

"Emmett, come on. I just got home." Carlisle groaned sitting down and putting his face into his hands.

"Oh Dad, come on. Just say yes."

"Emmett...just go upstairs. Check on Ali." He ordered and Emmett stormed upstairs, slamming the door. I walked over to the table an sat next to Carlisle.

"Bad day?" I asked.

"You have no idea. Little girl died today. She had a small chance of living but, I was hoping she was going to overcome it." He sighed.

"How'd she die?"

"Her father drove them into a telephone pole yesterday evening and we were able to stablize her, but she didn't make it through the surgery." He said, closing his eyes. "I don't see why people insist on drinking and driving. I just don't understand." He whispered and I stood up and moved to the pantry where I got a bag of hershey kisses out and poured them into a bowel. I set them down on the table and unwrapped one and put it close to his mouth.

"Here, the worlds best healer. Chocolate." I joked as he opened his mouth and gladly took the chocolate out of my hands. "Don't go blaming yourself for this if that is what you were implying. It was the father's fault, no doubt." I said after all the hershey kisses had been eaten.

"I know, but knowing I could have saved her..." He started before I quickly cut him off.

"No, you probably wouldn't have been able too, and you know it. Don't blame yourself. You have enough things to deal with without thinking about if you could have saved this poor girl." I said, stroking his arm without even realizing it. He smiled and looked up and our eyes met for a split second before Emmett came back into the room, holding his jacket.

"Dad, please. Woman in Black comes out today. Jacob and I have been planning to see this for months." He begged.

"Fine. Go. Be back by eleven-thirty." Carlisle said, waving his son away. Emmett let out a yelp and ran out of the kitchen. "Oy." Was all Carlisle said before going upstairs to change his clothes.

"Bella?" Alice asked from the doorway of the kitchen as dinner was being finished.

"Yeah, Ali?" I asked, turning off the stove and beginning to plate the food.

"Can you help me with something?" She asked, turning pink.

"Sure. Sit down."

"Umm...I think I'm...leaking." She whispered.

"Leaking, Alice what are you talking about?" I asked.

"Leaking from...down...there." She stuttered out and I knew immediately what she was talking about.

"Oh. Okay. Why don't you and your dad start eating and I'll run to the store and pick some things out for you." I said, getting up and grabbing my jacket.

"Bella, you don't have to do it. I'll get whatever she needs tomorrow after work." Carlisle said, sitting down at the table.

"No!" Alice screamed.

"This is a girl thing, Carlisle." I said and Alice turned an even brighter shade of red.

"Oh...OH." He finally got. "Right, go. We'll wait for you." He said, covering the pizza with another plate to keep it warm. I drove to the store and back in no time, but once I was parked in the driveway, I began feeling antsy. Edward's Volvo was sitting on the curb. I took a breath before getting out of the car and walking inside.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" I asked, as I put my coat in the closet.

"Bella. We haven't been out in weeks. I miss you. Please come out with me tonight." He begged as Alice came into the living room.

"Edward, I'm working. Soon." I said, handing Alice the bag.

"Bells..." He started before I cut him off.

"Edward, I'm working. Some other time." I said as Carlisle walked into the room.

"Bella. I'm thirteen years old. Go ahead. I can be alone you know." Alice joked.

"See?" Edward asked, and I began to grow angry at him.

"Bella, you can go if you want. I think Alice will be in her room for the night and Emmett's out with Jacob. Go." Carlisle urged.

"Carlisle..."

"See, come on. Please? Nothing fancy. Just like TGI Fridays'." Edward begged and I knew I didn't have a choice after Carlisle and Alice had given me the okay to go.

"Let me get my coat." I said, walking upstairs, and grabbing my things. Edward led me to his car and we drove to Fridays and had a great evening together. There was no arguing about marriage, or jobs, or school, it was just, natural. I got home at the same time Emmett had and found him in a car making out with a blonde girl his age I guessed. I tapped on the glass to the door and they jumped away from each other. Emmett got out of the car and walked ahead of me.

"Freeze." I said before he went inside. "Were you with Jacob at all tonight?"

"Yes! I swear! I was...but Rosalie was there with Leah and then...Jacob went off with Leah and I went off with Rosalie...but I swear! I wasn't trying to sneak around. Please don't tell my dad!" He begged.

"I won't...but only because his day has been bad enough. But, don't let me catch you doing that again. How far were planning on going, Emmett?" I asked and he looked away from me. "Emmett Royce Cullen." I almost shouted.

"We weren't going to do anything!" He said as Carlisle opened the door.

"I thought I heard you. Inside." He said and Emmett sped inside. I walked inside slowly and was barely inside before Carlisle bombarded me with questions.

"Was he even with Jacob tonight?"

"Yes...he says he was for a little bit."

"Was he planning on having sex with this girl had you not seen them?"

"He didn't say."

"Did he have protection?"

"I don't know..I don't know if they were planning..."

"Is she a good kid or does she only want sex?"

"Carlisle!" I asked after the millionth question.

"What?" He asked, looking as if I caught him off guard.

"You need to talk to him about this, not me."

"I know...and I have one more favor to ask." He said, suddenly looking guilty for asking me to do something.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Alice just got her...and I was wandering if you could check on her for me...I don't think I'd be able to." He said, not looking at me.

"No problem." I said as he looked into my eyes. Our eyes locked and I felt weak at the knees before he looked away and began walking upstairs. Before knocking on Alice's door, I heard crying and wimmpering. I knocked lightly on the door before I heard a muffled 'come in' I walked in and saw her laying face down on her bed, shaking slightly. I walked over to her and sat on the edge of her bed, stroking her back softly.

"Alice, what's the matter?" I asked once she stopped crying.

"This...is so...gross!" She said and I knew she was talking about her period.

"I know, it won't last very long. You should be as good as new in a week or so."

"A WEEK?" She screamed, sounding really upset.

"Yeah, maybe shorter. I don't know how long it'll last." I said and she seemed to calm down a bit.

"I'm glad your here, Bella." She said and I looked at her, confused. "I'm glad I don't have to talk about this with Dad...it'd be way to embaressing."

"Well, I'm glad I'm here too." I said and hugged her. "Call me if you need anything okay?" I asked, getting up and walking to the door. She nodded and I left and closed her door. I was sitting in my room, working on my paper when I was interupted again, but this time, by Carlisle's screams.

"What the hell do you need condoms for?" I heard him yell and I knew this was only trouble. I closed my laptop and walked towards Emmett's room.

"I'm fifteen years old Dad! I think I'm old enough to have sex!" Emmett defended as I walked into the room.

"Old enough? You thinking that shows you clearly aren't mature enough to have sex! Do you know what that does to you emotionally?" Carlisle asked, putting the box of condoms in his pocket.

"Yeah...makes you feel amazing!" Emmett yelled, looking smug.

"Emmett Royce! If I EVER find out that you had sex with that girl...you will be in SO much trouble!"

"I bet Bella has had sex with the boyfriend of hers!" Emmett yelled, bringing me into this. Carlisle spun around and looked at me with the 'you better lie if you have' look on his face.

"Emmett, I'm not going to lie to you. I had sex with someone when I was about your age..." I started and Carlisle glarred at me. "But I fully regret not waiting until I was ready and in love with man I had sex with." I answered honestly. Carlisle's face softened and turned back to Emmett.

"You'd better not being having sex. You will be in huge trouble if I find out your sneaking around and having sex with this girl." He said, his tone just angry. He began walking out the door before Emmett said the unthinkable.

"I bet mom wouldn't be acting like this!" He yelled and Carlisle stopped dead in his tracks.

"You think your mother would be fine with the fact her son was about to have sex?" He asked and Emmett's smug face was soon gone. "Oh Emmett, you didn't know your mother well enough if you think that. She'd probably be hitting you if she found out. She'd be even angrier than I am." He said before walking out and closing the door behind him. I followed Carlisle down to the kitchen where he grabbed a tub of ice cream out of the freezer. I sat down at the kitchen table where he brought me a spoon.

"Want some?" He asked, opening the lid.

"Sure." I said, dipping the spoon into the ice cream. "Don't be too hard on him. He's a teenage boy...he's going to have..."

"I know...I was about his age when I had sex for the first time. I'm probably being hypocritical, but the girl I had sex with...only wanted that and when she got what she wanted, she left."

"Ah. I see." I said, dipping my spoon into the carton again.

"See what?"

"You just want to protect him. But he has to make his own mistakes, Carlisle."

"I know, but he's already been through enough, with his mom dying. I don't want him getting hurt because some girl only wanted sex from him." He said, trying to take the last bit of ice cream, just as I was. We 'fought' for it for a while before he won. He was about to put it into his mouth when I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms.

"Ass." I mumbled, smiling as he took the bite.

"You'll get the last bit next time." He joked, putting the spoons into the sink. We said our goodnights and went our seperate ways for the night.

* * *

><p>"You look nice." Alice commented when she came into my room a week after the Emmett incodent.<p>

"Thanks." I said, grabbing my jacket.

"Where're you going?" She asked, following me out of the room. Alice became more and mroe clingy as the days went on and I knew it was her missing her mother.

"It's my anniversary with Edward." I said, smiling as we walking into the kitchen.

"Ooooo! Details!"

"There aren't many details, Alice. We met my senior year of college and today we've been dating for five years."

"Five years and you aren't engaged?" She asked, sounding like Edward.

"Yeah...I want to finish school before I get married. He knew this when we started to date, he knew what he was getting himself into." I said as Carlisle walked into the living room.

"Your mother wanted to wait until we finished school...I was the one asking every single day until she finally said yes." He laughed.

"You think I could leave early? I want to surprise him when he gets home." I asked, turning the doorknob.

"No problem. Have fun." He said as I walked to my truck. I drove the twenty minutes to Edwards condo and began to feel happier than I had in months. I knew he was going to try and propose tonight, he always did, but I had a feeling I was ready to say yes. I had to finish the last semester of grad school, but we could get married after I was graduated. I pulled onto the street next to his place and parked. I took one last look in the rearview mirror before getting out of the car and skipping up to the front door. I unlocked the door, letting myself in. I went into the kitchen to put my things down when I heard a BANG coming from upstairs. He shouldn't have been home yet, so I grabbed the baseball bat he kept in the kitchen and walked upstairs to where the noise was coming from. I cautiously turned the doorknob, and slowly opened the door.

"Oh..." I whispered when I saw what the BANG was. Edward was sprawled over my old college roommate...both naked.

"Bella! What are you doing here?" He asked, getting off of her as she pulled the sheet over herself.

"Happy anniversary ass hole!" I yelled, slamming the door and running down the steps.

"Bella!" He called after me as I opened the front door,, storming out. "Bella! WAIT!" He yelled and I spun around to meet his face.

"How could you! How could you do this! It was our fucking anniversary!" I yelled and he just looked dubmfounded. "How long has this been going on? How long, Edward?"

"Five years."

"You've been having sex with her for the entire time we've been together?" I asked, suddenly feeling hurt.

"Yes." He whispered.

"Why? Why would you have sex with my roommate of all people...oh god." I whispered at the realization.

"What?"

"You were the one she shoved into the closet when I walked in at the end of the semester? When my class got canceled? You were the one who she didn't want me meeting?" I asked and he only nodded. "Why?"

"You refused to move forward in our relationship!" He yelled, and he was trying to make this my fault.

"Right. That's the way to think. My girlfriend won't marry me because she wants to finish school first so I'll go fuck her roommate."

"Bella..." He siad, trying to pull me into him.

"Dont touch me! I'm going to state the obvious now but it's over! I hate you! And to think I was going to accept your proposal tonight because I knew you were going to propose. I can't believe I was planning on saying yes to marriage with you when you've been cheating on my this entire time. I can't believe I was stupid enough to think you were the one I wanted to spend forever with."

"Bella...I'm sorry..."

"Maybe I could forgive you if it only happened once. Or you were drunk. Or even if it was a stranger...but...goodbye Edward. You can rot in hell!" I yelled before getting into my car and slamming the door. I really thought of running over his foot, but the look on his face said he was hurt enough. I drove back to the house, barely able to see. Although I refused marriage from him probably a hundred times, I did want to spend my life with him. I thought he was the good guy and everytime I said no to him, I felt guilty. I hated seeing him hurt each time. I did love him and I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and he had taken the time to cut it into pieces himself. I parked in the driveway and was relieved it was Friday night. Both kids were out with friends and Carlisle was working the night shift, I would have the house to myself as I cried myself to sleep.

I walked into the kitchen and through my purse onto the table and fell into a chair. I began to cry even harder as I put my face into my hands and then into my arms. I must have sat there for hours, but I knew it had only been a few minutes when I felt a pair of warm hands rubbing my back slightly. I looked up and wiped my arms to see Carlisle kneeling next to me, gently rubbing my back, comforting me.

"What happened?" He asked, his voice in an almost whisper.


	5. Tap on my Window, Knock on my Door

**Chapter Five: Tap on my Window, Knock on my Door**

* * *

><p><span>Carlisle POV<span>

I had been called into work on a Friday and I knew this was going to be a bad night. It was also, a long one. It never seemed to end. Every five minutes it seemed there was someone being wheeled in through the emergency room doors. I was finally able to go home and all I wanted to do was sleep. I pulled into the driveway and was shocked to see Bella's truck sitting in the driveway. I sighed and grabbed my bag from the passenger side of my car and walked up to the back door and unlocked it.

When I walked inside, my heart broke a little bit. Bella was sitting in almost complete darkness, hunched over onto the kitchen table and I could hear her silent crys. I set my things down by the door and walked over to her. I knelt down beside her and began gently rubbing her back, trying to comfort her. She looked up and wiped the tears from her eyes, she looked so upset, so broken.

"What happened?" I asked in a whispered tone. She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself enough to talk but as soon as she opened her mouth to speak, she began crying even harder. She put her head on my shoulder and I continued to rub her back. This Edward guy must have done something pretty shitty to break her like this. She finally got herself together and lifted her head off my shoulder and began telling me everything.

"He's been cheating on me," She choked out and I gasped without thinking. "For five years...for our entire relationship." She cried, more tears streaming down her face.

"Oh..Bella."

"He's been cheating on me...with my roommate from senior year...a girl I actually considered a good friend. What makes it worse...I was going to say yes to marrying him tonight because I knew he'd ask...he always did. He told me...the reason they started sleeping together was..." She took a deep breath, trying to keep herself from crying. "I kept saying no to marriage."

"Wow...what an...ass." I said under my breath, more for me than her but she heard me anyway.

"I know. I loved him. I did want to marry him, I just wanted to be done with school before I did. He's been lying to me for five years. Our relationship...it was never real. I walked in on them once and didn't even know."

"What?"

"Yeah, my class got canceled and I went back to the dorm and Jessica had him stashed in the closet. She said her new...'boy toy' got in there before she could do anything. I left them alone...thinking it was just some random dude she picked up at the library...but I should have known. I knew Edward didn't have classes yet so I called him and got no answer and when I went looking for him...he was no where to be found. They were having sex each time I was in class." She cried, falling onto my shoulder again. I continued to let her cry until I was sure her tears had run dry.

"Why don't you go change your clothes and I'll order a pizza...I'm sure your starving and I haven't eaten since lunch." I suggested and she nodded before slowly getting up and shuffling upstairs. I stood up and called our favorite pizza place. As I waited for her to come downstairs and for the pizza to arrive, I decided she was going to feel better. I raided the pantry and fridge for anything I could fine. Cookies, cookie dough, chocolates, tubes of icing, ice cream, chocolate sauce, hot coco and carried it out into the living room. I turned on the electric fire place and retrieved extra blankets and pillows out of the closet. I was just turning on the TV and getting the ONDemand menu up when she came dowstairs.

"What is this?" She asked, smiling slightly.

"I thought you'd need the breakup 'essensials' Chocolate, sweets, pizza and timeless classics." I said, pointing to the TV.

"Thank you. How did you..."

"When Esme died...I did this every night for about a week in a half until I was pretty sure I was going to explode from eating all the junk." I laughed and she walked over to me, and grabbed the remote of of my hand.

"What would you prefer?" She asked sitting down.

"Oh..I was going to go upstairs," I began before she gave me a look that broke my heart. "But, the medical journal can wait until tomorrow." I said sitting next to her, pulling a blanket over us.

"You didn't answer my question. What would you prefer?"

"I watched old action movies, but this is your wallow time...you pick."

"Okay...how about..._He's Just Not That Into You_?"

"Sounds great." I said as the doorbell rang. "Pizza's here." I said getting up but when I answered the door, there was no pizza man standing at the door. Instead, it was Edward who had just caused Bella to be in this broken situation. "What do you want?" I asked coldly.

"Is Bella here?" He asked, almost too soft to here.

"Yeah, but I don't think she is going to want to speak to you."

"Well, why don't you ask her?" He asked, sounding a little smug.

"Because if I found out my boyfriend...well girlfriend...had been cheating on me with my roommate...I'd want to throw things at him. I think she said what she needed to back at your place." I said before slamming the door in his face and walking back to Bella. By the look on her face, I knew she had heard everything.

"Thank you." She whispered as she pressed 'play' and picked up a carton of ice cream.

"Any time." I said, grabbing a spoon and dipping it into the ice cream. We had just gotten through a half hour when the pizza man finally arrived and we ate two pizza's by ourselves. It didn't take a whole two movie before she got up and went to the kitchen, only to return with a full bottle of vodka in one hand and a carton of orange juice in another.

"You did a perfect job of setting the right things out...but you forgot just one thing." She said, pouring some of the OJ into a shot glass. I laughed and sat up, gladly taking the shot she had poured for us. "To the low lives of the world..." She cheered as we clanked glasses. She didn't overdo the drinking, only got tipsy and for that I was glad. I wasn't sure I was ready to explain to Alice the reason Bella couldn't get out of bed the next mourning was because she had been hung over. But the little bit of alcohol did the trick. By the third movie and the almost gone pile of junk food at our disposal, she had fallen asleep on my shoulder and I was fighting to keep my eyes open. I lost.

"Dad! Dad I'm ho...what is this?" Emmett asked when he saw Bella asleep on my shoulder and me asleep on the top of her head. It took me a minute to realize we had fallen asleep but quick gained consciousness.

"Shhh. Don't wake her up." I whispered as he walked closer.

"Again I ask. What the hell is this?" He asked, sounding angry.

"Emmett, for the love of god. Keep your voice down. She had a really bad night. We watched movies together, ate junk food, and had a few drinks. Nothing actually happened. She just found out her boyfriend had been cheating on her for goodness sake."

"Right." He huffed before walking away. "Good luck trying to tell Alice you already found someone to replace Mom." He said.

"Don't you dare!" I said, trying not to move. "Me doing this has nothing to do with replacing your mother! I wouldn't dream of it! I love your mother very much! I'm just trying to help Bella." I said and he rolled his eyes before storming upstairs. I sighed before settling onto the arm of the couch, soon falling asleep again. The next time I was woken up was not by either of my kids, it was by the sun shining through the big window, and my her stirs, I knew Bella was also waking up.

"Morning." She whispered as she stretched and fell back onto my shoulder.

"Morning. How'd you sleep?"

"Better than I thought I would...the vodka really hit the spot." She said, laughing. She looked at her phone and then began getting up. "I should go...get Alice ready for...dance." She said in between yawns.

"No. You go shower, get ready for the day. I'll get the kids up and ready." I said and she kissed my cheek and thanked me before getting up and going upstairs. I watched her go upstairs, without realizing I had been starring at her butt. I shook my head and stretched before getting up and walking upstairs. I went into Alice's room and opened the curtains before gently shaking her awake.

"Morning, sweetie." I whispered, kissing her forehead. She yawned and sat up before saying anything.

"Morning. I'll be down soon. What's for breakfast?"

"I was thinking chocolate chip waffles and bacon." I said and her face lit up. I left her alone to get ready for her day and then went to Emmett's room to wake him, only to find an empty bed. I walked out of his room, slightly paniced and walked past my room, Esme's room. He was sitting on the bed, leaning over a picture frame. He had been so okay on the outside, but I knew at that moment it was an act to keep Alice going. I shuffled over to the bed and sat down next to him. He looked up at me, surprise in his face, but his eyes bloodshot and puffy.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he put the picture back down on the bedside table.

"Nothing." He said, wiping his eyes.

"Emmett..."

"I just...miss mom. There isn't anything wrong with that." He defended.

"No, there isn't. Why did you freak out last night, when you saw Bella had fallen asleep on my shoulder." I asked and he refused to look at me.

"I don't know...I really don't. I mean, I know nothing happened and I knew nothing would happen...but my mind was like danger danger. Replacement ahead." He said, finally looking at me.

"I see. But you know how much I miss your mother. Last night was the first night since her death I didn't speak to her, through that photo." I said, pointing at the picture from our honeymoon.

"Really?"

"Yes. Emmett, I still love your mother. Very much. And if for some reason, in the future, near or far, I fall in love with someone else, that wont make me love your mother even more." I said and he seemed to be understanding.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Going off on you like that. It just seems like...like you're so okay with everything that's happened."

"Okay? Em, you think I'm okay? I haven't slept in here since your mother died. I would take the picture downstairs and put it on the coffee table before I fell asleep on the couch. Trust me. I don't want to show it, because of Ali, but I'm a freaking mess. And although, I was trying to help Bella through her bad night, being with her, just watching movies, helped me. It helped me see there is still good in this world. That I'm not alone." I said and he nodded, trying to grasp what I had just said. "Come on. Go get dressed. I'm making chocolate chip waffle's." I said before getting up and walking out of the room.

The waffles were just about done when Bella came downstairs, her hair still damp in a fresh pair of sweat pants...I still missed Esme everyday and loved her with all my heart, but damn. Bella was beautiful.

"Hey." She greeted, sounding happy.

"You seem happy." I said, nudging her side.

"I cried over the ass last night. There isn't a reason to be upset any longer." She said, shrugging her shoulders as she set the table. I watched her, being so okay with what had happened last night. She was the victim in the horrible situation with Edward and her old roommate, and yet she was saying she cried her cry's and it was time to move on. The kids and I had a lot to learn from her. Alice came skipping down the stairs, in her dance clothes and I was shocked. She said she'd never want to dance again after Esme passed and here she was. dressed and ready to go to dance.

"I want to go to dance again." She said like she'd only missed a week. I starred at her but a quick nudge from Bella pulled me out of it.

"Really? Honey, of course. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Mom wouldn't want me quitting. I want to do this for her." She said, sitting down and taking a waffle from the pile. I walked over and kissed the top of her head as Emmett came downstairs, not dressed for practice.

"Why aren't you dressed? We gotta go soon." Bella asked.

"I don't feel good...I actually feel like I'm gonna be..." He said before covering his mouth and running out of the kitchen.

"Gross." Alice whispered. The mourning passed by peacefully. Alice was at dance and Emmett was sick in my old room, leaving only Bella and I together. We sat quietly in the living room together, the fire place turned up, sharing a blanket. She had her laptop placed in her lap as she rested her feet on the coffee table. I couldn't seem to concentrate on the medical journal I had in my hands. Watching Bella work...facinated me. She was so focused, she looked so smart. I couldn't help but smile watching her work.

"What are you working on?" I asked after we'd been working for a while.

"My paper. Wanna hear some of it?" She asked and I nodded. "Over the years, I have met with many teens who were struggling with personal losses of one kind or another, but by far the greatest number were trying to adjust to the death of a parent. The unique relationship between parent and child makes such a loss painful at any age. But to have a parent die when you're a teenager is especially difficult."

"It's really good so far." I smiled.

"It's just the into, Carlisle. She laughed as she returned to her laptop. We enjoyed the rest of the afternoon in each other's company before I had to pick Alice up from dance.

"Do you like Bella?" Alice blurted out, trying not to sound angry or hurt.

"Excuse me?" I asked, turning onto our street.

"You just seem...like you're getting comfy with her." She shrugged as I pulled into our garage and turned the engine off.

"Alice, she's your nanny, and a friend of mine. Yes I like her...just not the way you think I do." I reassured her before she got out of the car. I walked into the house and heard yelling and I knew I was not in for the good enough I had been having. I walked upstairs and into Emmett's room where the yelling was coming from. I walked into the room and saw the unthinkable. Emmett in bed with a blonde girl I didn't know, both were naked.

"Emmett. Royce. Cullen." I shouted before the girl and him cowered into the headboard of the bed. "You have a lot of explaining to do."


	6. It Just Takes Some Time

**Chapter Six: It Just Takes Some Time**

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><p><span>Carlisle POV<span>

I couldn't believe what I had just walked into. My son. My fifteen year old son. In bed with a girl, who A) I didn't know, and B) in my own home. I was fuming. If people could set off steam, you probably would have been able to get a steam boat across the Atlantic Ocean and back.

"Emmett. Royce. Cullen. You better have an explanation." I said before storming out of the room, slamming the door. Bella followed me downstairs and tried to do the impossible; calm me down.

"Carlisle, you have to calm down. This isn't good for you." She said, trying to rub my back.

"What the hell was he thinking. He lied to me. Then he snuck a girl into his room. Then he had sex with her...in my house. And then he's stupid enough to get caught!" I yelled as Emmett and the girl came down the stairs and she ran out the door. "You better have a damn good explanation." I seethed through my teeth.

"I don't." He said plainly, not even looking at me.

"I see," I said, nodding my head, trying to keep my temper under control. "I cannot believe you right now, Emmett. I thought I made it very clear how I felt and how I didn't want you doing this...oh god. Please tell me you had another box of condoms somewhere?" I begged.

"I bought more." He whispered.

"Good, now that's out of the way. I'm beyond angry with you, Emmett. I'm disappointed. And, I'm not going to punish you for going behind my back and doing this. I'm just going to stop trusting you. I'm going to let you make your own choices because clearly, you know what the right choice is." I said and he looked relieved.

"So...I'm not grounded?" Was all he could say.

"No. You aren't. But you'r going to endure something far worse." I said and he ran upstairs. I slumped into the kitchen table and felt someone beginning to rub my shoulders, I had almost forgotten about Bella. "I'm not being over dramatic am I?" I asked, suddenly unsure of how I 'parented' him.

"No, I think you were spot on. He needs a father, Carlisle. And if you aren't there to tell him yes or no...he'll go crazy and learn his lesson." She said and I let out a deep sigh. "Let's just order pizza tonight." She whispered in my ear before walking away and to the kitchen phone. I knew this was a time I would need Esme most, and I was grateful Bella was here to help with these situations.

Dinner was silent. Emmett refused to look up from his pizza and Alice felt too much tension in the air. We ate quickly and Emmett was back in his room in no time. Later that night, I was setting up the couch, later than I normally did when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I switched on the light and saw Bella standing there, clutching her pillow in her crossed arms.

"Bella?" I asked, my eyes trying to adjust to the light.

"Oh...I didn't know you were down here. I'll go back upstairs." She said before turning around and walking away.

"Hold on," I said before she stopped and turned around. "Have you been crying?"

"Yeah..I guess it still hurts." She said, shrugging.

"It will for a while. You were with this guy for half a decade. Come on. I'm not going to get much sleep...let's watch people blow other people up." I said and she laughed as she walked towards me. "Do we need the overstock of food out here again?"

"No...I'm thinking cookie dough and popcorn will do just perfect. I'll go get it." She said, dropping her pillow on the couch. I watched her walk away and into the kitchen before turning on the TV and searching through ONDemand movies. She was back in no time and I had finished picking out a movie. "So, who's blowing up who?" She asked, taking a handful of popcorn in her mouth.

"Kill Bill...the title just fits everything we're feeling right now." I laughed, but she didn't. "No, I don't want to kill Emmett..." I said and she laughed as I pressed play. We made it three quarters of the way through the movie before falling asleep in the same spots we had the night before.

"Daddy?" I heard a faint voice ask as my eyes opened, trying to shield the early morning light from my eyes. It took a minute to realize that Bella was asleep on my chest, and I smiled at her, she looked so peaceful. "What...what are you doing?" Alice asked, her voice a mixture of hurt and anger.

"Alice, neither of us could sleep...we put on a movie and fell asleep watching it. What time is it?" I asked.

"It's...eight."

"Ali, honey I love you dearly, but why are you walking me up so early?"

"Church...Mom's been gone five months today and you said we'd go to church on the anniversary." She said, clutching the necklace Esme had given her before she died.

"Okay. I know what day it was...just forgot about church being today. Why don't you wake Emmett up ad I'll get ready." I said, shaking Bella gently to wake her up.

"Emmett...isn't in his room." Alice said once Bella was sitting upright and we both shot our heads to look at her.

"What? He isn't? Where...where is he?" I paniced, standing up along with Bella.

"I don't know...probably with the girl he screwed last night." She said and Bella couldn't help but giggle.

"Alice Carlie Cullen! Watch your mouth or there will be soap in it!" I scolded, trying not to laugh. That's what my parents had always said to me. The next hour was spent looking frantically for Emmett. I was on the phone with my parents as Bella talked to the police, the tension and eagerness of finding him was getting heavy as he waltzed in the backdoor.

"Hold on Mom...our little runaway just walked through the doors." I said, my head fuming as I hung up the phone. "Care to explain yourself?"

"You said I could make my own choices. I chose to go to Jacob's overnight and not tell you." He shrugged, making it sound like it was no big deal he hadn't told us. I was breathing heavily and almost pounced on him, but Bella held me back, and for that I was grateful.

"Go get ready for church." I said before walking out of the kitchen upstairs. I slammed my bedroom door shut and fell onto my bed, burying my head in my hands, wishing Esme were hear to help me deal with him. I heard a soft knock on the door I heard the door open and shut and looked up and saw Bella walking towards me, a tub of ice cream in her hands, along with two spoons.

"Thought you'd want something to perk you up." She said, handing me the spoon and opening the carton, diving in for herself.

"I'm sorry." I said when we were almost done with the ice cream.

"For...what exactly."

"I feel like you're being overworked...you just broke up with your long time boyfriend and you have to watch me deal with Emmett. It isn't fair to you."

"Honestly, I don't want to be sad and stuff during the day. They keep my mind of things...and I like just watching movies with you. It's more comforting than just staying in my room, crying myself to sleep." She said as we both went for the last spoonful of ice cream. We 'fought' for it again, just as we had before and I won.

"Ha!" I said, bringing the spoon up to my mouth and I saw her shaking her head in disbelief. I smiled, opening my mouth to take the bite, but decided against it. I closed my mouth and brought the spoon up to her mouth. "I told you you'd get the last bit next time." I said as she opened her mouth, taking the bite of ice cream.

"You should get ready...Alice is going to throw a fit if you aren't ready soon." Bella said after our eyes unlocked from another.

"Yeah, I should." I said as she got up and took the spoon from my hand. She smiled at me before walking out of the room, shutting the door behind her. "Yep. I'm going to hell." I said after I realized I was slowly gaining feelings for her.

* * *

><p>A few more months had passed and it was Emmett's sixteenth birthday. My relationship with Bella continued to grow and I felt guilty everyday it did.<p>

"Mourning." She said as she opened her eyes, on the couch in the same way we had been for months.

"Hey. How'd you sleep?" I asked as she rolled off of me and I stretched.

"Fabulous. Are you going to be okay today?" She asked, getting up and walking to the kitchen.

"Okay for what?"

"Em's birthday party. Incase you haven't noticed...you two haven't been on the best terms lately." She joked and I laughed.

"It's his birthday...I'm going to suck it up and be happy. I miss the old him." I sighed, sitting into a chair as she poured a cup of coffee for the both of us.

"Carlisle?"

"What?"

"He's doing this because of Esme...his mother's death sent his mind into a rebel stage...he's doing it to get attention."

"Why would he want this kind of attention, though?" I asked, taking a sip of coffee.

"He thinks it is the only way to get your attention."

"Where are you getting at, Bell?"

"Im getting at...I have a minor in phsyc...I know what Im talking about. We studied this situation for months. You need to talk to him.

"I've tried! Like a hundred times! He won't listen!"

"Make him listen, Carlisle." She said before walking upstairs. I let out a frusterated sigh as I walked upstairs into Emmett's room. As I opened the door, I prayed the blonde bimbo wouldn't be with him and I said a silent prayer when I discovered she wasn't home. I walked over to his bed and shook him awake.

"What the hell?" He grunted, trying to let his eyes adjust to the light.

"We...need to talk, Em." I said sitting on his bed as he sat up.

"Bout what Dad? You don't care what I do."

"That's why we need to talk." I said and he rolled his eyes. "What is going on in that head of yours, Emmett? What happened to the good hearted kid your mother and I raised? Where'd he go?" I asked and he was silent for a while.

"He was gone the minute mom died." He mumbled and I finally understood what Bella was talking about.

"I see. Emmett I know you've been acting like this didn't bother you...and it's great that you can take it so well. But you need to stop acting and start being real. This is going to get harder the longer you bottle it up. What do you want?" I asked and he ignored me. "Damn it, Em. What do you want?"

"I want my mother back!"

"I'd love to be able to give you that...but I can't. What can I do...me the person who is doing the best he can raising you and your sister. What can _I _give you?" I asked and he continued to stare straight.

"You can tell me...that you aren't giving up on me. That your going to start setting my curfew again and you'll yell at me when I get a bad grade." He said and I was finally getting through to him. "I'm sorry I had sex with Rosalie...I'm more sorry I got caught but...still sorry I did it. I'm sorry I let you down." He whispered. "I'm sorry I'm not the son you wanted."

"Don't." I said simply.

"What?"

"Don't you dare say something like that. Don't you dare say you are sorry for who you are. You are the only son I would have wanted. Emmett, I was angry...really angry...but that doesn't mean I wished for another son. You're the only son I'm ever going to have."

"Okay," He said before looking away and then back to me. "I'm so sorry I let you down, Dad."

"I know, Em. I know."I said touching his broad shoulder.

"I love you, Dad...even when you think I don't."

"I love you too, son...and happy birthday!" I said and he smiled. I told him to stay in bed until we had to leave for the party. The kids and I were downstairs, waiting for Bella to come downstairs moments before we had to leave. I looked up and saw her walking down the stairs. What she was simple, only a pair of skinny jeans, UGG boots and a plain green shirt, but she had to be the most beautiful people in the wordl.

"Ready?" She asked as she grabbed her coat.

"Yeah." I managed to squeak out before letting her and the kids out of the house before myself. "Yep. So going to hell." I said as I locked the door.


	7. How Far We've Come

**Chapter Seven: How Far We've Come**

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><p><span>Bella POV<span>

It had been a year since I broke up with Edward. And I knew it was the best thing I could have done. It gave me more time to be with the Cullen's. Emmett continued to mature the right way and hadn't snuck around with Rosalie anymore and Alice was still struggling with her mother's death, but she was recovering. And Carlisle and I were closer than we ever had been. He still didn't feel right sleeping in his room that he had shared with his wife, so he continued sleeping on the couch, and I kept him company every night. And my paper had been turned in and passed and today, I was getting my doctorate.

"Bells? You ready?" Carlisle asked at my doorway as I looked in the mirror.

"Yeah, I can't believe this is the last time I'm going to graduate." I joked, turning around and seeing he had a tub of ice cream in his hands. "Ice cream? We aren't upset about anything." I laughed, taking the one spoon from his hands as he opened the carton.

"Nope, let's use ice cream to celebrate something instead." He said, dipping his spoon into the ice cream. Once there was only one bite left, we 'fought' for it as we always did, but he won like he usually did. He began to take the bite but closed his mouth and put in front of my lips. I laughed and took the bite and our faces soon became very close together. He starred at me, and my heart rate picked up from looking into his ocean blue eyes for so long.

"You...you ah...have some ice cream on your cheek." He whispered, grabbing a napkin and wiping my cheek. He folded the napkin up and threw it into my waste can before turning back to me.

"Thanks..." I whispered as we both began moving into each other. Our lips had almost touched when a shout shrieked through the house.

"HEY!" I heard Alice yell, Emmett was probably being a jerk. I sighed as we stood up and turned off my lamp before leaving the room. "YOU BROKE THE FRAME YOU ASS HOLE!" She yelled as we entered the living room. Both looked to be fuming.

"YOU PUSHED ME YOU TWIRP!" Emmett yelled back, picking up the broken picture frame.

"Enough!" Carlisle yelled, not letting them continue there argue match. "It's a frame. The picture wasn't harmed. We have other frames. Grow up. Both of you." He said sternly.

"But Dad!" Alice protested.

"No, Ali. This is Bella's day. Handle this like the adults you are both becoming. Emmett, get a broom, please. And Alice, give me the old frame. I'll take the picture out and put it into a new frame." He ordered and they both did as they were told. "Sorry."

"No big deal." I said, helping him pick up the mess.

"But it is. This is a day for you..."

"They're teenagers Carlisle. They'd be acting like this if it were graduation day...but we really have to go now." I said, pointing to the clock. He cleaned the rest up quickly and dragged both of them to the car. They sat in the back seat of the car, starring out the window, both cross armed. I shook my head, Emmett was sixteen and Alice was fourteen...they were acting like a six and four year old.

"Guys, come on. Perk up for Bella. It was just a picture frame." Carlisle said as we pulled into the parking lot.

"Mom gave me that picture frame!" Alice yelled and I finally understood why she was so upset. I turned around and forced her to look at me.

"Alice, it was only a picture frame. I understand why it's special to you...but you still have her memory. Picture frames, necklaces, they aren't your mother. Your mother will always be with you as long as you feel her presence." I said and she crooked a smile.

"Thanks...sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your day."

"Are you kidding? It hasn't been ruined. Now, you and your brother make up and when I get back...you'd better be fighting about something else." I joked before getting out of the car.

"Bella!" I heard a familiar voice call from behind me. I turned around and saw my best friend, Angela, running towards me.

"Ang!" I yelled as she threw her arms around my neck. "So excited! Finally! I'm done with school!" I exclaimed as we began walking again.

"I know...are you going to be okay?" She asked, suddenly becoming serious.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Edward..."

"Who?" I asked, but I couldn't lie...it still hurt to hear his name.

"Right...non-exsistent. Let's go." She said, locking arms with me. The ceremony was short and sweet and I was back with Carlisle and the kids in no time. I walked towards them and they clapped when I held up my diploma. I walked to Alice and Emmett first, hugging them. But once I had let them go, Carlisle scooped me into his arms and held me tight, I loved the closeness.

"Congrats, Bells. I really am proud of you." He said, releasing me from his grip.

"Thanks." I whispered as he opened the car door for me. We drove back to the house in peaceful silence and I was surprised to see a handful of cars parked in front of the house. I looked in confussion but he shrugged his shoulders as he turned the car off and opened the door. We were just about to open the front door before a pair of hands forcefully covered my eyes.

"Emmett!" I yelled but he kept his hands in place. I heard the door being unlocked and opened and Emmett guided me inside. He led me into the middle of the room(knocking me into the couch) before he removed his hands.

"SURPRISE!" The crowd filled with my family and friends yelled.

"Oh...my god!" I gasped as I took it all in. The whole house was covered with reds and whites. I was still taking it all in when a pair of arms wrapped around my waist. I turned around and my dad was standing there, beaming at me. "Daddy!" I yelled, hugging him tightly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come to the ceremony...I wouldn't have gotten there in time. But about a month ago, I got a call from a very chipper girl asking me to come to a graduation party she was planning and I couldn't refuse." He explained and I looked at Alice. She was still warming up to me, and I was beyond thrilled to know it was her who planned this for me. I walked over to her and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you...so much." I said once we had let go of the hug.

"It really isn't a big deal...I just stole your phone." She laughed. A tap on my shoulder took my attention away from Alice as I turned to see who it was.

"JASPER!" I yelled, hugging my step-brother tightly. "Oh my god! Don't you have school today?" I asked my fifteen year old cousin.

"Yeah...Mom and Charlie said I could get out of it...for you." He said as Sue, my step-mother walked over to us.

"Congrats, kid." She said before I saw Jasper starring into the distance. I turned around and saw him starring at Alice, who was starring back at him. Once she caught me watching, she quickly turned her attention away and I giggled, she was so smitten.

"Carlisle, come here!" I called over. He excused himself from the conversation with my uncle and walked over. "This is my Dad, Charlie, my step-mom, Sue, and Jasper, my step-brother." I introduced. "Dad, this is my...employer..." I laughed, Carlisle had become so much more to me over the last year and a half.

"It's nice to meet you." Carlisle said, shaking my father's hand. My father had this look of hatred in his eyes and I couldn't imagine why...they had just met for goodness sake. Charlie turned away to a friend of the family and Sue went with him.

"How old is Alice?" Jasper asked, starring at her again.

"Fourteen, Jas." I answered and Carlisle shot a look at me. "Jasper, why don't you go with your Mom and Charlie." I said, shooing him away. "What?" I asked Carlisle.

"No..."

"No what?"

"No he isn't going after my daughter."

"Carlisle, come on. He's fifteen, he isn't that much older...and he won't. They live too far away." I said and he eased up a little. The party was a complete blast, but I was happy when it was over. I just wanted to be alone with Carlisle, Emmett, and Alice.

"Here you go." Carlisle said, handing me a small gift bag.

"Carlisle..." I said, not wanting him to spend any money on me.

"Oh hush and just open it." He said, forcing it into my hands again. I carefully removed the tissue from the bag and saw a long black box sticking out. I opened it and it was a charm bracelet with a single charm on it; a graduation cap.

"Thank you." I said, putting it around my wrist.

"Here, let me." Carlisle said, taking the clasp from my hand. I held out my wrist as he clasped it around my wrist and looked up. My heart skipped a beat when I saw his eyes. We both leaned into each other but again Alice interrupted us.

"Dad!" He sighed and stood up.

"What, sweetie?" He called up the steps.

"Come here!" She called. He rolled his eyes and turned towards me.

"I'll be right back." He said, running upstairs. I watched him go and fell into the chair under me. I was falling hard for him...and nothing would happen.

* * *

><p>"Bells?" Emmett asked a few weeks after graduation as I was searching the internet for potential teaching jobs in the Washington area.<p>

"What Emmett?" I asked, only half listening.

"Can we have your famous pork chops tonight?" He asked, almost jumping up and down.

"You have practice."

"Early though. I'd be home in time for dinner." He said and I closed my laptop, frusterated. No school was hiring new teachers. I grabbed my purse off the chair.

"Sure. Pork chops." I said and stormed out of the kitchen, slamming the door on my way out. I got into my truck and let out a scream. Life sucked. Edward was no longer in my life. My parents were on the other side of the country. I worked forever to get my doctorate and had no job to prove anything, and mine and Carlisle's relationship remained the same. I parked in the parking spot furthest away from the store and huffed inside.

"Four of your best pork chops please." I said once at the butchers station. It seemed forever for him to get them cut and packaged and I almost ran away once he had handed them to me. I was in the bread aisle, not paying any attention to where I was going when I rammed into someone, throwing both baskets to the ground. I groaned and leaned down to begin picking the stuff up.

"I think this is yours." The all to familiar voice said, handing me back the can of corn that had fallen out. I looked up and was face to face with Edward, someone I had swore if I ever saw again, I'd punch in the face.

"Thanks." I said, grabbing it. I took it from his hand, but didn't let go when I saw the simple gold band around his left ring finger. My breathing became heavy as I forced tears back. "You're...you're married?" I choked up as we stood up.

"Yeah, two months ago." He said, pushing his hands into his pockets.

"To Jess?" I asked, still bewildered at the ring on his finger.

"Yeah."

"Well...you didn't have a hard time moving on...I thought you two were just having sex?"

"We...were...before we..."

"Got caught." I finished and he nodded.

"We started actually going out after we broke up...one thing led to another and..."

"You're married now. Wow." I puffed.

"We didn't plan to get married so soon but she's sort of...six months pregnant." He said, not looking at me.

"Pregnant?"

"Yeah...we were careless one night, drunk actually, and didn't use a condom." He explained and I nodded. "I'm really..." He started before I put my hand in his face.

"Don't. Don't lie."

"Lie?"

"You aren't sorry. If you were sorry...you wouldn't have done it in the first place." I said before walking away, trying to hold back tears. I drove back to the house, trying my hardest to concentrate on the road. But I couldn't get the picture of the ring on his finger out of my head.

"_We started actually going out after we broke up...one thing led to another and..."_

_"You're married now. Wow." I puffed._

_"We didn't plan to get married so soon but she's sort of...six months pregnant." He said, not looking at me._

_"Pregnant?"_

_"Yeah...we were careless one night, drunk actually, and didn't use a condom." _

Rang in my ears the whole way home. I unlocked the front door and ran upstairs. Carlisle was sitting at his desk in his office, working on the computer. He looked up, smiling at me, but the smile quickly vanished and he pulled me into his chest.

"What happened?" He whispered in my ear after my sobs were under control.

"Edward...Edward and Jessica are married and having a baby together." I sobbed and he gripped me tighter. We stood there for what seemed like hours before Emmett called upstairs. "shit...I left the stuff at the store." I said, wiping my face.

"We'll order pizza." Carlisle said simply.

"Emmett wanted pork chops..."

"Emmett can deal with Pizza. Besides, he's probably going out soon." He said, as we walked down the stairs. Emmett almost threw a temper tantrum because he wasn't getting what he wanted but delt with the pizza and was out with Jacob right after he was done. Alice hadn't been home at all yet, leaving just Carlisle and I. He laid out the usual junk food and covered us with a blanket as we watched PS I Love You. We had made it halfway through the movie when I got up and went to the liquor cabinet. I walked back and Carlisle eyed me, raising his eye brows.

"What do you want? Beer, Vodka, or Tequila?" I asked, putting the bottles down on the table.

"Just a shot of Tequila." He said, laughing.

"Just ONE shot?" I asked, I really just wanted to get drunk, but didn't want to do it by myself.

"Yes...just ONE shot." He answered and I rolled my eyes...I wasn't getting drunk tonight. I sighed and poured the shot glass half full and handed it to him before pouring a shot of vodka for myself.

"Want to watch another movie?" He asked once the credits were rolling.

"Sure...but I want to watch people blow things up." I said and he laughed. He went to the ONDemand menu and searched.

"Dark Knight?" He asked and I nodded. He pressed play and I snuggled my head onto his shoulder. I felt a small kiss on my head as the movie began. Halfway through the movie, he stood up and began walking away.

"Where are you going?" I asked, suddenly feeling abandoned.

"I think I have something that will help you." He said, running upstairs. Why Edward being married upset me so much, I had no idea. But all I knew was I felt like I had been punched in the took forever to come back down, and I was just about to go look for him when he came storming downstairs, fuming with anger.

"Hey...what..." I started to asked before he grabbed the almost full bottle of Tequila and poured himself another glass. He then grabbed the Vodka, pouring a glass for me, shoving it into my hands.

"Who said alcohol couldn't solve anything?" He asked before taking the shot. I starred at him, wandering what happened while he was upstairs but along with him anyway...I was about to get really waisted...with Carlisle.


	8. Drink, to All We Have Lost

**Chapter Eight: Drink, to All We Have Lost**

* * *

><p>Emmett had begged Bella to make pork chops that night, so when she came home in tears, I knew something had happened. She walked into my office and I smiled at her, just being around her put me in a good mood. But when I saw her eyes, wet and puffy, my smile immediately faded and I jumped up and walked over to her. I pulled her into me and let her cry into my chest.<p>

"What happened?" I asked after her sobs died down.

"Edward...Edward and Jessica are married...and have a baby on the way." She sobbed and I held her closer. We stood there, holding each other for what seemed like hours, but reality told me it was only a few minutes. "Shit," She hissed. "I forgot the stuff at the store." She said, letting go of me.

"We'll order pizza." I said and she looked up at me with what would be her beautiful brown eyes had she not been crying.

"I told Emmet I'd make pork chops." She said, feeling guilty she wasn't going to be able to give him what he wanted.

"Emmett can deal with pizza. Besides, he's probably going out with Jacob soon anyway." I said, opening the door and leading her downstairs. Emmett almost threw a temper tantrum when he didn't get what he wanted, but ate the pizza anyway and was soon out of the house. Alice hadn't come home that day, sleeping over a friends house, leaving Bella and I to ourselves to do our 'sad and broken ritual' Junk food, movies, a fire, and a little bit of alcohol.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked once we were settled onto the couch.

"How about...PS I Love You." She answered as I searched through the ONDemand menu.

"You are in luck...they just happen to have it." I joked and she punched my arm playfully. I pressed play and she began eating herself silly, and so did I. We were halfway through the movie when she stood up and disappeared into the kitchen, soon returning with a six-pack of beer, and a bottle of Vodka and Tequila.

"What'll you have?" She asked, pouring herself a shot of hard Vodka.

"Just a shot of Tequila." I said, and I knew she was hoping I'd get drunk with her, but I couldn't.

"Just ONE shot?" She asked, really hoping I'd say no.

"Yes...just ONE shot." I answered and she rolled her eyes as she poured my shot. We clanked glassed and emptied the glasses into our mouths. Things became even more peaceful after the shots and I started to become more tired when the credits started rolling. "Want to watch another?" I asked, pressing STOP.

"Yeah...just one where people blow things up." She said, putting a ball of cookie dough into her mouth. I laughed and started searching through the ACTION MOVIE menu and settled on one I knew she'd enjoy.

"Dark Knight?" I asked and she nodded. I pressed play as she snuggled her head onto my shoulder, becoming comfortable. I gently kissed the top of her head and turned my attention back onto the TV. As we neared the middle of the movie, I remembered a book my younger brother got me when Esme and I took our 'break' in between our sophomore and junior year of college. And although, it didn't make me feel better to be without her, it made me laugh, and I knew that's what Bella needed. I eased myself off the couch and she looked at me with hurt in her eyes.

"Where are you going?" She asked, looking upset.

"I think I have something that will help you." I answered, walking upstairs and into my old room, walking to the bookshelf. I looked through the collection of books Esme and I had accumulated and finally found the one I was looking for. I pulled it out of the tight space it was placed in, letting another book fall along with it. I let out a sigh and put the other book down and bending over and picking up the other book by the spine. I looked at the title, _What to Expect When You're Expecting _I didn't know Esme had actually resorted to books to tell her how her pregnancy was going to go. I laughed as I put it back on the shelf but as I was walking away, I heard a small crunch of paper and looked down. I bent over and picked up the old envelope. I turned it over and '_Carlisle_' was written on the front in Esme's handwriting.

"What the..." I asked, moving towards the bed and sitting down, opening the envelope. I pulled out the sheet of paper inside and unfolded it.

_October 10, 1993_

_My Darling Carlisle,_

_I know that no amount of words can defend what has happened and what I have done. I can't bare to tell you this in person, seeing your face when I told this would break my heart even more. Two months ago, I was feeling sick every mourning. Claire, suggested a take-home pregnancy test and I bought five, and all five were positive. I went to see my doctor and he confirmed it. Carlisle, we are only 20 years old, we weren't ready for a baby. That day, I did the unthinkable. I had an abortion. I am so so so so so sorry, Carlisle. We are too young, we aren't ready for a baby, in more ways than one. I am truly sorry this is how I had to tell you but, I couldn't face you about it, afraid I'd loose you for good this time. I pray in time you can come to forgive what I have done, but will understand if you cannot. I love you, Carlisle, so much._

_All my love, _

_Esme_

I read over the letter ten times before I finally grasped what it said. Esme...my wife Esme, had had an abortion without telling me about it, right before we reconciled. I brought my hand up to my mouth in disbelief. She had always said she was against abortion, so how was it she was able to go through with one? And Worst of all, how could she go through one and NEVER tell me about it. I rolled the letter into a ball and threw it into the trash can. My mind kept asking me the same thing over and over as I walked back downstairs. How could she do this? I walked into the living room and made a beeline to the alcohol that had been pushed aside and took the bottle of Tequila and poured myself a glass and then poured Bella a shot of Vodka. I forced it into her hands and clanked our glasses together.

"Who said alcohol couldn't solve anything?" I said before taking the shot. She starred at me but then smiled before taking the shot herself. We continued this for about ten minutes before giving up on glasses and falling onto the floor. We were both getting more and more unaware of the world as we took swigs from the bottles.

"What...what changed your mind?" She asked before taking a swig of beer and then handing me the bottle.

"Life is fucked up." I answered before moving closer to her as we continued to drink. Within an hour, the bottles were empty and we became sad. "All gone." I said, turning the Vodka bottle upside down, nothing coming out.

"There is more in the kitchen. Let's go there." She slurred before attempting to stand. She tripped over herself and fell into my laugh.

"You fell." I laughed as she accidentally grabbed my cock as she tried to sit up.

"Ha I know." She laughed as she got to her knees and began crawling back to the kitchen. I watched her small little ass as she crawled and took a deep breath. She returned moments later holding a bottle of white wine. "This is all that's left." She said, sitting crossed legged right next to me, I could smell the liquor on her breath, that's how close we were. I uncorked the bottle and took a swig before handing it to her. She tilted it up against her mouth and began chugging it.

"HEY!" I yelled, yanking the bottle from her hand. "We share." I said before drinking it. I gave the bottle to her as she leaned into me.

"You are so fucking sexy." She whispered into my ear and I wasn't sure if she was talking or the alcohol was. I turned my head and our lips we inches apart. Without thinking, we leaned into each other and our lips met with instant passion. My tongue brushed her bottom lip and she eagerly opened up for me, our tongues instantly intertwined as we both let out soft moans. We only pulled apart when we were desperate for air.

"Shit..." I whispered when I came to my senses. She knew what I was thinking and backed away. We sat in silence for a while more before she stood up again, catching her balance.

"I'm...I'm going to bed." She said and tripped her way upstairs and into her room. I shuddered at the slamming of the door, but didn't move from my spot on the floor. I took another swig of the almost empty bottle of wine and fell backwards, that is the last thing I remember.

* * *

><p>"Dad? Daddy!" Alice yelled as she shook me awake. I pried my eyes open and once my eyes had adjusted, I was able to see I had fallen asleep in the middle of the floor where I had kissed Bella. Shit...I had kissed Bella, and I didn't regret it. "Daddy? Are you okay?" She asked once she helped me sit up.<p>

"I had...ah...too much to drink last night, sweetie." I admitted and she starred at me.

"You...you were drunk?" She asked, hurt in her eyes.

"Yes. It was wrong to drink as much as I did." I said.

"You drank...after what happened to Uncle Alec?" She asked. Alec was Esme's brother and killed when she was just a baby, but Esme never could let it go.

"Yes. But, nothing happened. We were in the house the whole time." I assured her but she still looked uneasy. "Ali, sweetheart, I just needed a release...I acted immature in drinking so much, but nothing happened. I promise." I said, taking her hands. She starred at me for a while before soft smile broke out on her face.

"Okay. I'll have Lauren pick me up for dance...you and Bella don't look like you can drive." She said, laughing before she walked upstairs. I smiled slightly watching my daughter be so mature, but the smile faded after she said 'Bella'

"Oh...god." I sighed, remembering what had happened between up. I sat there for a bit longer before getting the courage to stand up and walk to her room. I almost fell backwards but caught the doorknob just before she opened the door. She looked just as bad as I did. Hair a mess, sick as a dog, and still in the clothes she was in last night.

"Carlisle..." She whispered before running to the bathroom. I heard her throw up and I immediately felt sick. I ran to my bathroom to throw up and was brushing my teeth when I heard a slight knock at the door.

"Huh?" I asked with a mouth full of toothpaste. Bella shuffled in, closed the door and locked it. She walked close to me and waited for me to finish brushing my teeth before speaking.

"What..." She began, but I cut her off.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"For what, exactly?"

"Taking advantage of you." I said, dropping my head, not wanting to look at her.

"Taking advantage of me?"

"Yeah..."

"How in god's name did you 'take advantage' of me?"

"I kissed you when you were drunk and vulnerable. I shouldn't have done that."

"In case you didn't notice, I didn't hesitate or pull back. I wanted it, Carlisle." She said and I knew we were no longer on the same page anymore.

"Well...it was a one time thing, I'm sorry, Bella. I was drunk. I wasn't thinking clearly." I said and she tried not to show the amount of hurt she was feeling.

"Right. I know. One time thing."

"I'm so..."

"It's okay. Don't worry about it." She said, walking out of the bathroom. I watched her walk away, her head dropped and began feeling horrible. As much as I liked Bella and even though I was kinda furious that Esme hadn't told me about the abortion, I wasn't ready to start a relationship yet. I sighed and walked out of the bathroom and got changed into my sweatpants and grabbed a book off of the shelf. I walked downstairs where Bella had her laptop in her lap, sitting on the couch. Afraid of what might happen if I sat next to her, I resorted to sitting in the armchair across the room.

"Why are you over there?" She asked as I sat down.

"Oh...ah..."

"Get your ass over her." She said, patting her hand on the empty space beside her. I smiled and sot up and walked over to her. She smiled and we both went back to our peaceful afternoon. Things were going to get very complicated, very fast, and I wasn't sure how to handle it. I just wanted things to be normal again, but lord knows they never would be.


	9. Luckless Romance

**Chapter Nine: Luckless Romance**

* * *

><p>Two years. It had been two years that I had known Carlisle and his kids. And I grew to love each one dearly. All for different. I knew I could never replace Esme, but I loved those kids as my own. And I knew I loved Carlisle as more than just a friend, I was in love with him but nothing would ever happen, which made my choice that much easier. I was making dinner before Carlisle got home when my phone buzzed and the ID was with the York Prep.<p>

"Hello?" I answered, rubbing my hands on the towel.

"Isabella Swan?" The mans voice asked.

"This is she."

"Wonderful. I hear you have just received your doctorate in education from Washington University."

"Yes, I did. About seven months ago."

"Yes. I assume you heard about our teacher/student conflict."

"I did."

"Yes, well the board has decided to let that teacher go, deciding it was more important the student finish her education as planned."

"Sounds like a good plan."

"It was. Anyway, we would like to offer you the English teaching job now available." He said and my mouth dropped open. A teaching job at one of the top ten private schools in the country. "Miss Swan?" He asked after I had not answered.

"Yes, still here. Can I ask of the job?" I asked. He began telling me about the school, the courses I would teach, the student life.

"We would need you to start right away. Monday, in fact." He said and I felt a small knot form in my stomach.

"Monday? This Monday?"

"Yes, this Monday, Miss Swan." I began thinking of my Dad and Sue and how hard it would be on them to see me go all the way to New York. I began thinking of the current job I had, I loved Emmett and Alice so much and I feel like I'd be abandoning them if I took the job. But, most importantly, I thought of Carlisle and our relationship...or lack of relationship. "Miss Swan?"

"When do you need and answer?" I asked, needing to talk to Carlisle and the kids first.

"I would need an answer by tomorrow, Tuesday."

"I will let you know as soon as I possibly can. Thank you so much for the offer, Dean Embry."

"Of course, Miss Swan. Your work was remarkable and we would be so lucky to have you. Goodbye."

"Have a good night." I said before slowly hanging up the phone. I wanted to be with Carlisle, and I knew he wanted something to happen between us, but he was too scarred and I couldn't wait for him. I needed to move on if I knew there was nothing to fall back on. I gave up on cooking the roast beef, mostly because half of it was burt and decided to just order a pizza. I had just paid the pizza man and set the table as Carlisle walked through the door. I suddenly felt like I was on the verge of tears. I quickly took a deep breath so he wouldn't see me.

"Hey...pizza?" He asked, we always had a fancy family dinner together on Monday.

"Yeah...I kinda burnt the roast beef." I laughed.

"You...you Bella Swan...burnt the roast beef?" He asked and I smacked him lightly. "I'm going to go change, you guys can start if you want." He said as Emmett and Alice came in the kitchen. They sat and began to eat and Carlisle came down quickly. He knew something was wrong, last time I burnt something was after I found out about Jessica and Angela. He finally got the courage and began speaking.

"Bells, are you okay?" He asked and they all starred at him.

"What? Yeah, why do you ask?" I asked, not meeting any of their gazes.

"You burnt dinner, you haven't said a word yet..." Carlisle started.

"And you're refusing to look at any of us right now." Alice butted in.

"Well..." I started before they all put down their slices of pizza and looked at me. "I...I got offered a job today."

"Bella, that's awesome...is it our school? Because our english teacher just went into rehab." Emmett joked and I began feeling worse.

"No, not at your school, Em." I said, looking away again.

"Oh well, how close?" Alice asked and my eyes filled with tears and she immediately knew something was up. You aren't going to be close, are you?"

"No, Ali." Was all I could say.

"You are staying in Seattle, right?" Emmett asked, becoming very eager. I looked over at Carlisle who looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"No." I shook my head.

"Where exactly are you going Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"I haven't accepted it yet." I defended.

"Well, where you be going if you were to take it?" Alice asked.

"New York City." I whispered and I felt all their eyes grow in size and disappointment.

"New...New York?" Alice choked out and all I could do was nod. "You're going to...New York?"

"It isn't official yet." I said.

"But it will be! Because you and I both know this was a temporary job until you started to teach...and you must want it if your talking it over with us." Alice yelled, and I couldn't tell if it was out of anger or sadness.

"Alice..." I started, touching her arm. She quickly pulled away and stood up.

"I'm...I'm happy for you." She choked out before running upstairs.

"Ali!" Emmett called, getting up from his seat. "Pizza was great...congrats, Bells." He said before chasing his sister upstairs, leaving just Carlisle and I. Nothing was said for a good ten minutes but he finally spoke up.

"New York?"

"Yes..."

"What about everything here?"

"What about it?"

"Your parents aren't far from here. Your friends. Emmett, Alice...us."

"Us? What us?"

"You and me?"

"We're an 'us'?"

"Well..."

"Carlisle, you kissed me two months ago when were completely drunk. And nothing has happened since. I will stay..."

"Good..."

"But only if you can tell me we have a future together...you and me." I said and he refused looking at me. I nodded my head and tried to mask how upset I was. "Right, that's what I thought." I said, standing up and walking away. I made sure my door was closed and locked before falling on the bed and crying. I loved it here. I loved my friends and family, Emmett and Alice, and Carlisle. But I couldn't sit here and wait for him. I knew widows who began having sex a month after their wife dies, he can certinaly begin dating again.

* * *

><p>I walked down to the kitchen where I smelled the wonderful scent of Carlisle's famous chocolate pancakes. I finally entered the kitchen and found one of the most depressing scenes. A family, not speaking, not smiling, not doing anything. Just eating their breakfast. It broke my heart. I was the reason why they were acting lie this, but I didn't have a choice. Carlisle could still speak up, he could tell me not to go. But I knew he wouldn't and I began feeling worse.<p>

"Morning." I whispered, sitting down. Alice didn't even look up, Emmett looked up and nodded his head and Carlisle just starred. We continued eating breakfast in silence until Emmett and Alice had to go to school and left, leaving just Carlisle and I.

"Bella...please..." He began to beg.

"I'm sorry Carlisle. But unless you can tell me I have a future with you, I can't stay. I can't be that girl."

"What girl?"

"The girl who sits around and pines for the guy she loves..." I trailed off when I said the last word. Love. His eyes grew wide with fear and confusion and I had to bite my lip to fight back tears. "To come to her and tell her his feelings for her. I saw what it to Edward...waiting for me. It drove him crazy and in the back of my mind, he wanted to get caught with Jessica. He had wasted five years with me...I wont do that with you Carlisle. So...speak up now or forever hold your peace."

"Bella, I can't. You know I can't."

"Why not?" I yelled, getting frusterated.

"I have two kids..."

"I know that!"

"I'm sorry. We can't." He said and I just starred at him before running upstairs and slamming the door behind me. I got out my phone and dialed the headmasters number.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Hello, Dean Embry?"

"This is him."

"Hi, this is Isabella Swan, to...accept your job offer as a English Teacher." I said after taking a long pause.

"Wonderful! We are lucky to have you aboard our teaching staff, Miss Swan. I will have our secretary fax you all the information you will be needing for the job."

"Great, thank you so much. Goodbye." I said before hanging up and dropping my phone when I saw Carlisle standing in the doorway. He looked like he was about to cry, like he had just been hit by a car. I walked over to him and pushed him out of the room and closed and locked the door behind me. I couldn't face him. Not yet. I spent the rest of the afternoon locked in my room, even though I knew he had gone to work.

"Bells? Bella it's Angela." I heard her calling from outside my room. I slowly got up and answered the door, pulling her downstairs and onto the porch with me. "You're leaving Washington?" She asked, sounding crushed.

"Yeah, I got a really good job offer in New York."

"But, you said you didn't want to leave Washington..."

"I know...that was then...this is now."

"What happened?" She asked and I knew she was talking about Carlisle and I. I took a deep breath and began talking about everything.

"I met Carlisle when I was only eighteen."

"What?"

"Yeah, my knee surgery. He did."

"He did the surgery on your knee? Didn't you have a special doctor for that?"

"I did, but something happened and he couldn't be there and my knee needed operated on like right away. He was new to the field but and amazing doctor. He graduated high school early...valedictorian in fact. So he was really young, but knew what he was doing. Anyway, he was new he didn't have many patients to care for, so he took really good care of me."

"He did?"

"He was the on who brought me real food."

"Wasn't he married...and didn't he have Ali and Emmett by then?"

"Yeah. He told his wife about me, Esme was the one who made the meals to give to me."

"He doesn't remember you?"

"I mean, he might. But I doubt it. He doesn't seem to. Anyway, he kept me company while my parents were at work and you were in school. We got...close...I guess you could say."

"Wow..."

"I fell in love with him instantly and I never wanted to be a nanny, but when I saw his AD in the paper...I was drawn to it."

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

"It was never relevant." I said, shrugging my shoulders and she rolled her eyes.

"Why are you leaving then?" She asked after a long pause.

"I can't be Edward."

"Be Edward?"

"I can't be the one waiting forever for the person I want to be with. He made it clear there was no future, and I can't just sit here and wait." I said before I saw a figure moving behind the sliding doors. Angela looked at me with the 'Im so sorry' look and I shrugged. "I want to be with him...so much. But if I stay here and wait, it'll just lead to more heartache."

"I understand, I just want you to be happy, Bells."

"I will be, if I don't stay here." I said before the sliding doors slid open. Emmett stood there, still looking hurt.

"Dinners ready. Dad said Ang can stay if she wants." He said before going back inside.

"I'll pass. You need to be with them tonight." She said before walking around front and driving away. I watched her go and stood in the driveway for a while before going inside and facing the sad music I was about to hear. I walked in and I knew they knew what my choice was. I didn't need to say it and rub it in that I was leaving. The next few days passed like this. Sad and uneventful. They helped me pack, but I found Alice unpacking my things one day and she hadn't spoken to me since. I was more heartbroken now than I was when I found Edward cheating on me.

It was Sunday afternoon and we all stood in front of the cab, not saying a word. My things were done being loaded into the trunk and I saw the hurt and sadness in Emmett and Alice's face.

"Come here." I said, pulling them both into a hug. All of us releasing our tears at that point. We pulled away and I wiped the tears from my face.

"Please, don't go." Alice begged and Emmett nodded in agreement. I looked over at Carlisle who just starred but quickly turned back to them

"I have to Ali. But I'm only a phone call or Skype away." I said and she cracked a smile. I leaned in and hugged her again and she ran into Carlisle's arms. I looked at Emmett and I knew he was having a hard time with this.

"So..." He started before I held me hand in front of his face.

"I know, Em. I know." I said, hugging him again. He tried to mask his emotions, but I knew him better than that. He walked over to Carlisle and took Alice from him as he shuffled over to me.

"Bella..." He began.

"Don't. Please." I cried. "This is hard enough."

"Then...don't go. The kids need you...I need you." He begged.

"I can't Carlisle. I told you once. I can't tell you again." I cried and he brought me into his arms. I cried on his shoulder until the cab driver informed me we should be going. I gave one last tearful hug to Emmett and Alice before getting into the cab. He began driving and I watched them fade into the distance. I wiped the tears I was shedding for a while, but soon gave up and just let them fall.

_"Flight 804 to New York City will be boarding in five short minutes." _The voice on the speaker announced and I began collecting my things to board the plane. The final boarding was called and I was last to give me ticket. I was just about to give the man my ticket when I heard my name being shouted.

"BELLA!" The voice called and I saw Carlisle running towards me.

"Carlisle?" I yelled back as I turned away from the ticket man.

"Don't...don't...go." He panted.

"What?"

"I love you. I want to be with just as much as you want to be with me."

"Carlisle..."

"Stay. Please don't leave. I need you." He said.

"Miss, if your boarding, you must do so now." The flight attendent told me.

"I'll be right there." I said, turning back to Carlisle. "No, Carlisle."

"But you said..."

"I know what I said. But...I can't." I cried, moving backwards and handing the man my ticket. "I'm so sorry." I said before turning around and walking towards the plane. I tried to hold my head up high, knowing this was the right choice, but I knew whatever choice I made, would be the wrong one.


	10. Make Me Want to Run

**Chapter Ten: Make Me Want to Run**

* * *

><p><span>Carlisle POV<span>

Watching Bella go had to be the second hardest thing I've ever had to do, next to saying goodbye to Esme. Something inside me knew I loved her. Knew I wanted to be with her. Esme had been gone for two years, a reasonable amount of time for me to grieve. But the other part of me knew I wasn't ready. Knew the kids weren't ready for me to love another woman.

"Dad?" Emmett asked as we watched the cab disappear.

"What, Em?" I asked, my body began to feel numb.

"Why are you letting her go?" He asked.

"She wanted to go, Emmett. I couldn't stop her."

"Yes you could have." Alice chimed in.

"No...I couldn't have."

"Dad, we know." Emmett said after a long pause.

"Know what?"

"That you love Bella, and she loves you back." Alice said, trying not to look at her. I couldn't believe it. My daughter, my own daughter could see it and I couldn't. "You have to go after her, Daddy." She said.

"Ali...how..."

"I saw you two. Kiss." Emmett butted in.

"You...you saw us?"

"Yeah, about six months ago. I got home right about when you kissed her." I just starred at my kids in amazement. They saw me kiss her, they saw my feelings for her, and they were encouraging it. "Don't look so surprised."

"Yeah, I mean it's pretty obvious you know. I mean how many people watch movies every night until they fall asleep. Not many." Alice butted in.

"We're okay with it, Dad, really. We'd rather you be in love with Bella rather some random bitch you meet at work or something." Emmett said and I continued being speechless.

"But what we won't be okay with is if you let her go. Dad...GO!" Alice said and I pulled them both into a hug. They had grown up so much in the last two years. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but they were the ones giving me toe courage to go after Bella.

"I love you guys. Stay here." I said, grabbing my keys out of my pocket and running to the car. I got in, started the car, and began driving to the airport. She said she'd stay if I told her we had a future together. And she was the only one I wanted to be with now. I began thinking of Esme on the drive there. I still loved her with all my heart. She was my first love and the mother of my children, but I knew she'd want this for me.

_"Carlisle, we need to talk." Esme said when she came out of the bathroom after a long, hard day of chemo._

_"Sure, what is it dear?" I asked, putting my magazine down as she sat next to me._

_"You and I both know the outcome of this."_

_"Of what?" I asked, even though I knew what she was talking about._

_"Carlisle, you know what." She said as her eyes grew wet with tears. I quickly puller her into me and held her tightly. "The cancer. We've been trying to conquer this for a year and a half. It isn't getting any better."_

_"I know, but we have to stay positive." I tried and she sat up straight again._

_"I don't want you to be pining for me to come back." She said abruptly._

_"What?"_

_"If...I die. I want you to try to find someone else to love. I don't want you waiting for me, I want you to be happy, dear."_

_"I won't be happy if you aren't here with me, Esme."_

_"But you can be. If you choose to be. I want you and the kids to be happy again. I'm not asking for you go out the day after...my...funeral to get someone else, but in the future if you're at the store and you run into someone you're attracked to, don't hold back because of me."_

_"Esme..."_

_"You're mother is great. And I trust her with my own life, but Ali is going to need someone younger she can relate to. She's going to go through hell once I pass, she's only thirteen. And Emmett, you are going to need help with him. He's fifteen, he's going to be an even bigger handful than Ali...and..."_

_"Esme. Sweetie." I said pulling her into me again._

_"What?"_

_"If I find a girl worthwhile. Someone who I can love, someone the kids who can love, I will not hold back. I promise." I said and kissed the top of her head._

_"You promise?" She asked giggling._

_"I do. I love you, so much." I said before kissing her lightly on the lips._

_"I love you too. I..." She began before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and her body went limp, falling into the headboard._

_"Esme? Esme, honey?" I asked as I shook her._

The memory faded as the airport came into view. I sped up and found a parking lot, not caring who it was for. I jumped out of the car and ran inside to the ticket desk.

"I need a ticket to the plane going to New York in...shit...half hour." I said and began jumping out of eagerness.

"I'm sorry sir, that plane is filled." She said, like everything was going to be okay.

"Well then, I need a ticket going anywhere, cheap...hurry!" I said and she began looking through her computer. She was able to find a ticket to Kansas City and we made the transaction, and I ran to secruity which of course, took twenty five minutes.

_"Flight 804 to New York City will be boarding in five short minutes." _The voice on the speaker announced and I began running even faster. I the siting place where the boarding was being called and then saw her get up to get on the plane. I called her name, but it was too soft to hear. She was about to give her ticket and it was now or never

"BELLA!" I called as I neared her.

"Carlisle?" She yelled, turning towards me and away from the flight attendent.

"Don't...don't...go." I panted.

"What?"

"I love you. I want to be with just as much as you want to be with me."

"Carlisle..."

"Stay. Please don't leave. I need you." I told her, just wanting us to be together.

"Miss, if your boarding, you must do so now." The flight attendent told her. I looked at her, pleading her not to go.

"I'll be right there." She said, turning back to me. "No, Carlisle."

"But you said..."

"I know what I said. But...I can't." She cried, moving backwards and handing the man my ticket. "I'm so sorry." She said before entering the tunnel and began walking to the plane.

"Bella..." I whispered as I let myself fall into a chair. She told me that if we had a future together, she'd stay. She had either lied to me or something else was wrong. I sat there for ages until they kicked me out. I walked out to my car, which had a parking ticket on it. Great, this day was just getting better and better. I drove home, just thinking about Bella and how much I screwed things up for us. She would still be hear if I hadn't waited for my children to tell me I loved her. Damn. Life really suck. I pulled into my driveway and sat in my car for a few minutes. Alice and Emmett were going to be crushed when they saw Bella wasn't with me. I finally got up and walked into the house. They were in the kitchen, sitting by the answering machine, looking like they were pining for someone.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked, pulling a chair out and sitting down.

"Bella, called." Emmett said, flatly.

"Oh?" I asked, trying not to sound hurt.

"Yeah, listen." Alice said with a cracking voice.

"_Hi, everyone. I just had to call you before my plane took off. I just wanted to tell you that I love you all very very much. Alice, Emmett, me leaving had nothing to do with you. You two are like my own children. I love you like my own. Alice, you just have to keep going, you have to stay strong. Don't let me leaving ruin everything you've gained throughout the the past two years. And Emmett, please take care of your sister. No matter how many times she tells you she hates you, I know it's the biggest lie I've ever heard. You two need each other. Please, protect each other. And please, keep playing your sports, if I hear anything about you quitting, I will come back and drag you to practice everyday. And...Carlisle...take care of them for me. You're a great father, and a great person...and I love you. But...I can't get it out of my head that you came here to tell me this, just so I wouldn't go. You need to give yourself and Esme some credit. I know she would have wanted you to be happy, but being happy with me...isn't the right choice. I'm so sorry to all of you. I love you all so much...I have to go. Stay strong. I love you." _

"She left...even though you told her you loved her?" Alice asked, tears streaming down her face.

"Yeah, kiddo. I'm really sorry. She explained herself during that message. I'm sorry guys, I tried." I said when I saw the looks on their faces. Alice got up and walked upstairs and Emmett just sat there. "Em?"

"We're sorry too, Dad." He said before standing up and walking upstairs.

* * *

><p>I sat at work in between patients and opened my email account, hoping there would be something from Bella. Nothing. Again. I opened up a new email page and began typing my hundredth email in the last four days.<p>

B_ella, Emmett and Alice, they really miss you. I really miss you. I know I should have told you sooner that I was in love with you, but I was just too scarred. I was scarred of my kids, of what people might think of us dating. But when I came to the airport, I didn't tell you those things so you'd stay. I told you those things because I loved you and wanted to be with you. Anyway, please answer me. I miss you, I hated these last few days._

I pressed 'send' hoping she'd actually answer this one. It was finally the end of the day and I was grateful my mother was coming over and cooking dinner tonight, I couldn't bear another silent dinner with the kids. I was driving on the highway when I saw the airports exits. Maybe I wasn't thinking, or maybe I was acting on adrenaline and feelings only, but I found myself turning off the highway and towards the airport. Before I knew it, I was boarding a plane to New York City to find Bella. I stood in front of her apartment door, soaking wet because it was pouring and knocked three times.

"Bella! Bella, please answer the door!" I called after she didn't answer for a while. I stood there, leaning against the door, praying she'd open it when my phone rang. "Hello?" I asked, I hadn't looked at the ID.

"Carlisle Peter Cullen! Where in gods name are you?" My mother shouted into the phone.

"I'm in New York, Mom." I huffed, I had come here for nothing.

"What are you doing in New York, sweetheart?" She asked.

"Dad's in New York?" I heard Alice ask.

"I'm at...Bella's apartment."

"Carlisle, you can't keep this up. She's gone. You have to move on."

"I don't want to move on, Mom. I gotta go. I'll be home later, tomorrow probably." I said and hung up. "Bella! Please! I know you're in there, your trucks parked in the parking lot! Answer the door!" I begged while continuing to knock.

"She isn't home." An older woman told me as she passed. "She went somewhere with a very handsome gentleman about an hour and a half ago." She said before going into her place. Bella was already on a date. She said she couldn't wait, so I guess this was her moving on. I dropped my head and began walking towards the elevator and walked outside into the rain again. I found myself standing where I met Esme twenty-one years ago. On the grounds on Columbia University, in front of Butler Library.

"What do I do, Esme?" I asked, looking up, trying to shield my eyes from the raindrops falling at a hundred miles per hour. I stood there for a little bit more before I found myself shivering and walked back to my car and to the airport. It was well past midnight when I walked into my house and my mother didn't miss a beat slapping the back of my head when I got inside.

"Don't you ever do that again!" She said once I was dried off and drinking hot coffee.

"Sorry, Mom. I didn't intend on doing this. It just happened."

"Carlisle, honey, I know you loved her. I could see it. But, she's started a new life and as heartbreaking as this is, she doesn't want you in it. So, please do yourself a favor and try to start new like her. It'll do you a lot more good than going to New York to try and get her back." She said and I just starred at my coffee for a while.

"I didn't think I'd ever love again after loosing Esme. I know she told me to try, but I knew I wouldn't be able to. But then Bella came into the picture and after a while, I knew I was in love with her. I felt for her, the same way I felt for Esme. My knees buckled when I saw her, I dreamt about being with her, and every time we were together, all I wanted to do was kiss her."

"That's sweet, honey." My mother said, confused.

"I met her when I was just out of med school."

"You...did?"

"Yeah, she was eighteen and she was having knee surgery. Dr. Clearwater was in an accident or something an she needed the surgery right away, or she wouldn't walk to right way again. They let me do the surgery and I did and they said I did one of the best jobs they'd ever seen. Anyway, I was new and the only reason they let me perform Bella's surgery was because there was no other doctor to do so."

"Okay..."

"So, I kept her company when I could. I told Esme about her and Esme insisted on cooking her meals and having me bring them to her. We grew close, but after she was discharged, we never saw each other again. Separate lives I guess. But I hired her because I knew who she was."

"Did you love her when you knew her when she was eighteen?"

"No...but I knew...somehow...that I could love her. Like if I wasn't married to Esme, I knew I could love her. There was a...connection I had with her. I just can't believe I blew it." I said and my mother rubbed my knee and we finished our coffee.

"I should be going, your father is probably getting worried. I love you, kid." She said, hugging me.

"I love you too, Mom." I said and she left. I walked upstairs to change into my pajama's and to get my pillow. I stood in the doorway for a while, starring at the room. "_Esme wouldn't want you to be sleeping on the couch for the rest of your life." _I thought you myself. I took a deep breath and shut the door and walked to the bed. I pulled down the covers and slipped into bed. I turned onto my side and saw the picture of Esme and smiled. I knew she was wanting me to be happy. It was the first time since her death that I was able to sleep in here and it felt great.

* * *

><p>I walked downstairs that Sunday mourning, trying not to think about Bella starting her new job the next day and saw Emmett and Alice sitting on the couch watching TV.<p>

"Hey, guys." I said, walking over and sitting on the couch.

"Hi, Dad." Emmett said as he switched the TV to Sports Center and I was surprised when Alice didn't protest. We spent a good hour like this, just sitting in silence like we had been since Bella left. We were about to leave from church when Alice began begging about Bella.

"Daddy, please. Get her back." She begged as she put on her jacket and I got an umbrella out.

"Ali, honey, I've tried. So hard. I've emailed, called, sent letters, I went to New York for goodness sake and she was already on a date."

"Maybe it wasn't a date." Emmett butted in a Alice nodded.

"Em, she was out with a guy."

"Maybe it was someone she was going to be working with. Maybe it was business." Alice suggested.

"Guys, I've tried. Bella and I...weren't meant to be." I said, walking towards the door to open it. "Bella isn't coming back." I said opening the door.

"BELLA!" Both Emmett and Alice shouted.

"Bella?" I asked turning around and coming face to face with Bella. "Bella?" I asked as my breathing became heavy.


	11. Nothing I Want More

**Chapter Eleven: Nothing I Want More**

* * *

><p><span>Carlisle POV<span>

"Bella?" I asked again. I couldn't formulate words. Bella was standing in front of me, she was really here.

"Carlisle..." She began to cry before I pulled her into me and kissed her passionately. Not caring if my kids were watching. The kiss was sweet and short but that kiss. That one kiss sealed our fate together. Once we pulled her apart, we held each other tightly. "I should have stayed. I should've gone home with you when you came to get me at the airport."

"No. I should've told you before you were about to get on the plane." I argued.

"Maybe...but I got on the plane after you told me you loved me. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have ignored you when you called and emailed." She cried into my chest and I just rubbed her back soothingly. "And I wasn't on a date the other night. I was out with a kid I went to high school with...who is married...and he offered to showed me around the city."

"You knew I was there?" I asked.

"Yeah...my neighbor told me a 'cute blonde man that could make you melt' stopped by my place." She laughed and I held her even tighter. We stood there for what seemed like hours before I heard someone clearing their throat. Bella let go of me and looked around me.

"This is all so sweet, but...I think your forgetting something." Emmett said, holding open his arms. I kissed her one last time before she went over and hugged Alice and Emmett. "We missed you, Bells." Emmett said once all the tears were dried and we were sitting around the table, eating cake.

"I missed you guys too. Waking up to a silent house...I hated it." Bella laughed. We stayed up and talked for hours, it was like we were a family, that the last few days didn't happen. Once the kids were in bed, Bella and I stayed up on the couch like old times.

"This...isn't going to be easy." I finally said.

"I know."

"I'm still going to love Esme. I always will."

"I don't expect any less." She said, sitting up and looking into my eyes. "But I do expect one thing."

"What?"

"You to love me, to be with me." She said as a tear escaped her eyes.

"I promise, I will." I said before leaning into kiss her. The kiss was just supposed to be sweet and short, but once our lips touched, I couldn't stop. The kiss grew with passion and my tongue brushed past her bottom lip, begging for her to open. She did and our tongues intertwined as the kiss grew in grew. I pulled back when we were both desperate for air, and my lips traveled down her neck, placing kisses on each part I touched.

"Carlisle..." She panted as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"What?" I panted.

"I...want you." She said and I stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes. I smiled and leaned into kiss her again, picking her up by the waist and carrying her to her bedroom. I sat her down gently and began kissing her again, moving to her neck as my hands traveled to the hem of her shirt. She lifter her arms and I pulled the shirt off of her body and let it drop to the floor. I leaned into kiss her as she began playing with the buttons on my shirt. My shirt popped open and she slid it off my shoulder. My lips returned to her body as my hands began rubbing her back up and down, finally stopping at her bra clasp. I unclipped it, letting it fall loose and I slid it down her arms and onto the floor.

She pulled at my shirt, dragging me down with her as I kissed her collarbone and eventually, her bare breasts. I took my time, kissing her, sucking on her nipples. I just wanted for this to last forever, I was in no rush and neither was she.

"Carlisle..." She panted as I felt myself grow even harder. She began reaching for my pants zipper and I allowed her access. She pulled my zipped down and unsnapped the button, loosening my pants so I could slide out of them. I tugged at her sweatpants and she arched her back, making it easier to slip them off her body. We were both left in our underwear and I couldn't be slow anymore. I tugged her panties off her body as well as my boxers and hovered over her, dangling my erection near her hot center.

"Bella..." I moaned before entering her. Her needful moans were all I needed to continue and slide into her. "God..." I whispered after I began slowly thrust in and out of her. I began picking up my pace when she wrapped her legs around my waist.

"Fuck..." She moaned as I began massaging her breasts again, giving her even more pleasure. "More...please Carlisle...more." She moaned and I began to thrust into her at full speed...hard and fast.

"Shit...oh god...Bella!" I moaned as I neared my climax.

"More...god...I'm so...fuck...CLOSE!" She yelled before snuggling her face into my mouth. I felt her walls clench around me as she climaxed and I was not far behind her. I rode both of us through our orgasms and fell limp on top of her, both panting heavily. I finally was able to generate enough thought to slide out of her, causing us both to whimper, and lay next to her, pulling her close. She reached down and pulled the sheets up on top of us, as I hugged her even tighter.

* * *

><p>"Dad! Let's go!" I heard Alice scream out in the hallway the following morning. I pried my eyes opened and realized Bella was asleep on my chest, I smiled and kissed the top of her head before shaking her gently. Her eyes fluttered opened and looked up at me.<p>

"Morning." I whispered, kissing her.

"Hi." She yawned before sitting up, letting the sheet fall to her waist. It took all of my will to turn away and put my boxers on on as she began changing as well. We both tried to be discreet about coming out of her bedroom, especially since I was only in my boxers...but it didn't work.

"Hey, Pop." Emmett said, slapping me on the back.

"Go get your breakfast." I said and he smirked and walked away. "So much for discreet." I laughed at Bella who was a bright shade of red. "What?"

"I was hoping not to get caught...this is so...embarrassing..."

"Hey...we weren't super quiet last night." I tried joking but she just starred at me.

"That's even worse! Carlisle..."

"Bella...babe...let's not make this about them, okay? Let's make this about us." I said, grabbing her waist and kissing her softly on the lips. "See, not about the kids." I whispered.

"Kids? What?" She joked as she took my hand and led me downstairs to the kitchen. Emmett smirked at us and Alice was trying her hardest not to...but soon failed. "Alright, guys lets go." Bella said, standing up and grabbing her coat.

"Why can't I drive?" Emmett wined.

"Your jeep isn't here." She said, rolling her eyes.

"So? Dad's car..."

"No way in hell are you driving my Mercedes to school."

"You let Bella drive it!"

"Bella has been driving a bit longer than you have, Emmett. Just go with her." I said, waving my hands at him.

"Well, since you have to get to the hospital soon, I'll just use my truck." She said, opening the door letting Alice and Emmett go in front of her. She stayed back long enough for me to take her in my arms and kiss her. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." I said, beginning to feel like a lovesick teenager. "I love you."

"Love you too, I'll see you..." She began before Alice blew the horn at us. "at lunch. Two o'clock?"

"Sounds perfect. Bye." I said before I let her go from my grip. I watched them drive away before closing the door and getting ready for work. I walked passed Alice's room and saw her laptop open with a picture of us. I walked in closer and saw the picture, it was the four of us on La Push beach after Bella's graduation. We looked like a family. Alice was on my back and Emmett was grabbing Bella by the arms from behind. I scrolled through her IPhoto and printed the picture and found an empty frame in my bedroom and put in my work bag. The drive to work had to be one of the happiest in a long time. I was in love again...and I didn't feel guilty for loving her anymore. I pulled into work and was bombarded by the single nurses who seemed to never end flirting with me...even after my wife had died.

"Good morning, Dr. Cullen." Tanya greeted, bashing her eye lashes. I rolled my eyes and got the picture out of my bag. "What's this?" She asked once I handed it to her.

"This is a picture of me with my kids, and the nanny." I said, pointing to Bella.

"Precious." She said, sounding confused.

"And she is now my girlfriend. So would you please just back off? You doing this everyday, turns me off even more than if you were to just leave me alone. So just...leave me alone. I love her, very much."

"Your wife?" She asked.

"Told me she didn't want me to be alone. Please just stop." I said before taking the picture back and walking away into my office. I closed the door and waited for my surgery prep. I set the picture next to a picture with Esme and the kids. Seemed odd, but I thought it was right. The morning was slow leading up to the time where I had to prep for the appendicitis surgery I had to perform. The surgery went exactly as planned, but it was a hard one. The girl was a little bit younger than Alice, so it made me that more nervous. But when I saw Bella sitting in my chair when I returned to my office all those nerves were washed away from my body.

"Hey you." I said walking over to her and bending down to kiss her gently on the lips. My smile faded when I saw that she was holding the picture of us. "Oh..."

"When was this taken?" She asked, not sounding angry or weirded out at all.

"A few years ago, right after your graduation." I said as she stood up so I could sit down.

"I like it, where'd you find it?" She asked as I pulled her into my lap.

"Alice's laptop was open when I walked by her room this morning...I kinda stole it." I laughed, kissing her gently. I took the picture from her hands and put it back next to the other picture. I saw her starring at the picture with Esme and I became slightly uncomfortable. "Sorry, I forgot to get rid of this." I said, grabbing the frame and pulling my drawer open and placing it inside and then closing the drawer again.

"What..are you doing?" She asked, standing up and opening the drawer to take the picture and putting it up again.

"But I thought..."

"Why? I know you still love her and always will."

"But..."

"I was just looking at it, Carlisle." She said and I starred at her in amazement. My current girlfriend was almost begging me to keep a picture of my wife up. I kissed her passionately and brought her back into my lap. The kiss grew with passion as she straddled my hips. I moaned softly as she began grinding against me.

"Oh...Bella..." I moaned as she began loosening my tie and brought it over my head. "We...really...we...oh..." I moaned as she began kissing my neck. I began playing with her shirt and pulled it up over her head as she began playing with my buttons. She slipped the shirt over my head as I unclasped her bra and brought it over her shoulders.

_"Paging Dr. Cullen to trama two. Paging Dr. Cullen to trama two." _A nurse called over the intercom. I moaned as she stood up and picked up her bra. I picked my shirt up and buttoned it, not bothering to redo my tie.

"I'm sorry, raincheck?" I asked once we were dressed again.

"I guess so." She said, smirking. "Love you."

"Love you too." I said as we parted ways.

* * *

><p>I walked in through the back door and began walking to the living to see what Bella was up to, but found something, well heard something completely different.<p>

"I know, I wish we lived closer too...well two months is too long for you to get you llicense so you can drive here...yeah my dad is going to agree to drive me to Forks to see you...Bella'd never go against my dad..." I had heard enough. I cleared my throat and she turned around and looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "I gotta go, Jasper. I'll miss your voice too." She said and hung up.

"Ali, who were you talking to?" I asked, trying to stay calm.

"No one..."

"Alice..."

"Jasper. Okay? We've been talking for a while."

"Jasper?"

"Bella's younger brother." She informed me and I began to feel angry. "She didn't give me his number, I stole it out of her phone when she was in the shower. Don't be mad at her." I shook my head and walked upstairs to my room to change. I heard the shower go on, and I knew it was Bella, Emmett was at practice and Alice was probably talking to Jasper again. I smiled and stripped down to my boxers before walking to the bathroom and gently opening and closing the door. I pulled my boxers all the way down and gave a little knock on the glass doors. She whipped around and smiled seductively.

"Can I help you with anything?" She asked through the doors. For a moment, I knew this was a bad idea, Alice was downstairs and Emmett would be home any minute. But once I saw the soap running down her wet body, all my thoughts of my children were washed away.

"Umm, yes, there is a very sexy woman in my shower right now, and I'm afraid I need one as well. I have a date tonight with my girlfriend." She cocked her eyebrows at me before speaking again.

"Well, we wouldn't want you to be dirty on your date, would we?" She asked, opening the doors and pulling me inside.

"No, we wouldn't." I said, pushing her up agains the shower wall and began kissing her passionately. She began grinding against me as I kissed her lips. "Oh..." I moaned, trying to keep quiet. I gently picked her up off her feet and wrapped her legs around my waist.

"Carlisle..." She moaned as we continued rocking against each other.

"What, Bella?" I asked in her ear.

"Fuck me." She whispered and I stilled both our movements and looked into her longing eyes. I gave a smile before entering her wet, hot, center. "Shit..." She hissed once I began thrusting into her. I soon picked up speed and our moans of pleasure got louder and more frequent.

"Oh...fuck...Bella..." I moaned as I felt myself getting closer to release.

"Carlisle...oh god...I'm gonna...come!" She yelled as she came around me. I soon followed and I pushed her further into the wall once I had orgasmed. We stood there, panting heavily for a while before I pulled out and set her on the ground on the shower.

"Oh my god..." She panted as I began washing her. "You're fucking amazing." She said and I kissed her neck.

"You have no idea what you do to me, Bella." I whispered into her ears. Her hands moved back and grabbed my length and I let out a hiss at the contact.

"I have a pretty good idea." She said, turning around and pushing me into the tile. We soon finished and shut the water off. I grabbed a towel and began drying her with it, I felt her nipples harder as I brushed the towel by, but we had been in here for too long. We finished drying off before she left the bathroom, making sure she put good emphasis on her ass as she walked away. I groaned at the sight before heading to my room to change into a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. I met Bella at the top of the stairs and took her hand before walking downstairs into the kitchen where Alice had so nicely made dinner.

"Could you two at least keep it down...and in your bedroom when you do that?" Alice asked as we sat down. I nearly choked on the water I had just sipped and I saw Bella grow red. Emmett snickered before diving into the ziti Alice had made.

"Sorry, kiddo." I said, trying to deflate the situation. Dinner went by quickly and Alice had run up to her room the minute she was done. Emmett lingered longer than normal, and I could sense something was wrong. "Em?" I asked and he turned to me.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"What's up? You were pretty quiet tonight."

"Nothing..." He lied and I looked at Bella.

"Emmett, you suck at lying. Spill it." Bella said and I could see him tense up even more.

"Most of my friends are beginning to look at colleges, they are getting a sense of what they want their future to be."

"I don't see the problem, Emmett." I said.

"I have no fucking..."

"Watch your mouth!" I yelled back at him.

"Sorry. No freaking clue what I want to do! Where I want to go! I feel like I'm standing still." He said before looking away.

"That's okay, Em. Not many people know what they want to do when they're your age."

"You did. Mom did. Bella did."

"Actually, I changed my major twice before settling on education. When I was your age, I wanted to be a lawyer." She said and I saw him relax a bit.

"Really?"

"Yeah." She answered confidently.

"Your mother actually didn't even want to go to a real school. She wanted to go to design school to become an interior decorator." I said and he just starred.

"Really? What made her change her mind?"

"Your grandparents didn't give her much choice. Either go to a 'real' college, or loose her trust fund. She chose the trust fund."

"So, she didn't do what she really wanted?"

"No. She loved what she did, she never regretted the choice she made. She said, had her parents not done that, she wouldn't have met me and had you and your sister. You're going to figure this out, Emmett. Trust me."

"But..."

"Isn't there a college fair coming up soon?" Bella asked and he nodded. "What if you and me went to it together. It might help you focus."

"Sure." He said.

"Good, now go and start your homework." She said and he left. She looked at me a shrugged.

"I think there was more to whats wrong than just not knowing what to do in the future." I pointed out as she stood up and sat on my lap.

"There is. All his friends are going on college tours with their mom's, and he doesn't have that. Its something common when teenagers loose a mother."

"I wish I could help him."

"You can. Just continue being the best father you can be."

"I'm a good father because of you." I sad and snuggled my face into her neck.

"No. You're a good father because you're an amazing man, Carlisle. Please don't second guess yourself when it comes to this." She said and I kissed her gently. "I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too. You know what I want to do tonight?" I asked.

"What?"

"I want to get out of these clothes...and watch an endless amount of movies and eat way too much and fall asleep next to my love." I said and she stood up and dragged me upstairs.

"Me too." She whispered as she slid the shirt off my body and onto the floor.


	12. Street Light Eyes

**Chapter Twelve: Street Light Eyes**

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><p><span>Bella POV<span>

The year following mine and Carlisle's confessions seemed to be the happiest, and easiest. We didn't have to hide from each other, we could always be ourselves and that would always be enough. We also could still just sit side beside and watch movies until we fell asleep, I had never had that before and neither had Edward. Emmett and Alice seemed to accept it completely, Alice even planned some of our big dates. We lay in bed together one night and I'd never felt happier. I was almost asleep when he brought up the most random subject.

"I want to redo my old room." He blurted out and I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake up more.

"What?"

"I want to redo it. New paint, floors. New furniture. Everything." He said and I sat up.

"Babe, where in the world is this coming from?"

"I want to make it ours. That room...belongs to Esme and I, we decorated it, furnished it. I want it to be ours." He said and reached over to the nightstand, opening it.

"I'm fine sleeping in here with you, we don't have to anything yet. It can still be yours and Esme's, I understand." I said and rubbed his back.

"But I want to make it ours," He said, showing me what he had pulled out of the drawer. "Bella, it's taken me so long to realize I want to be with you. I don't want to waist anymore time. Isabella Swan, will you marry me?" He asked and my eyes began filling with tears of joy.

"Yes...a million times yes!" I squealed and brought him into me, hugging him tightly. We let go and he gently slid the simple ring on my left finger. "I love you." I whispered, touching his forehead to mine.

"I love you too. So much." He said and kissed me passionately, bringing me down into the bed again. He rolled us over to he was on top of me and began kissing my neck. "Carlisle..." I moaned softly as he plunged his tongue into my bellybutton. He lifted head to look at me and smiled before moving his lips to my inner thighs. I could feel myself getting wetter as he kissed every inch of bare skin. I squirmed when his tongue finally entered in between my folds. I had not been expecting it, but my body had. I began rocking my center against his face and tried my hardest to not rip his hair out. A finger soon replaced his tongue and began thrusting into me. His tongue began to flick my clit as his other hand moved up and began massaging my breasts.

"Oh..god!" I panted as he rode me through my orgasm. Once both our breathing was calmed down, he began kissing my stomach until his lips were on my neck and his erection placed firmly at my center. He entered me without a bit of warning and began thrusting into me, hard and fast.

"God...you're so...fuck..." He moaned as we were both close to finishing. I finally found myself climaxing for the third time that night and he was quick to finish. He fell on top of me, breathless and without muscleless. He soon pulled out of me and rolled onto his side, pulling me against his chest. He kissed my forehead and pulled me tighter, almost afraid I was going to disappear.

"I can't...I can't loose you Bella. Never." He said, his eyes closed tightly, afraid he might cry. I pressed my forehead agains his before kissing the tip of his nose.

"Look at me." I said and after a minutes, he obeyed and opened his eyes to meet mine. "I'm never going to go anywhere. You, the kids. This is where I want to be. The only place I'm ever going to want to be. You'll never loose me." I assured him and silence filled the air. "I am so in love with you Carlisle." I tried and he continued to not say anything.

"I love you too. Which makes it that much scarier."

"What? What's scary?"

"The thought of loosing you." He cried and I began grasping he wasn't speaking about breaking up, he was speaking of death. I pressed my forehead to his again and took a long pause before speaking again.

"Life isn't going to perfect. Bad things happen to really good people. But..." I said before looking into his eyes again. "If we have each other...we'll be able to conquer anything. But I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I'm...I'm here for the long run." I said, smiling as I held up the ring he had placed on my finger not too long ago.

"Promise me this."

"Anything."

"That if something were to happen, whether it be death or a breakup...promise me you'll always love Ali and Emmett." He said and I kissed him lightly.

"Forever. But...let's not think of the possible bad things that could happen to us. Let's think of the great things that could happen to us." I said and he continued to stare. "Because the good things, far out weigh the bad. Trust me."

"God...I love you so much." He said before kissing me again. Nothing else was said for the rest of the night and I fell asleep wrapped tightly in his arms. I woke up to an unfamiliar sound and soon realized it was my phone ringing. Careful not to disturb Carlisle, I snuck out of bed, putting on his shirt and down the hall to his office.

"Hello?"I asked.

"Is this Isabella Swan?" A very proper sounding lady asked.

"Yes it is. Can I ask who's calling?"

"Yes, of course. This is Dean Brandon with Seattle University," She began and my heart jumped a little bit. "I was calling because we have a job opening in the Literature Department and I have heard nothing but good things about you, Miss Swan. I was calling to see if you would be interested in coming in for an interview for the job?"

"Yes!" I almost screamed. "I mean, it would be my honor." I quickly corrected.

"Fantastic. I will have my secritary email you the details?"

"Sounds perfect." I said and hug up the phone and began jumping and squealing. I began jumping in circles and stopped once I saw Carlisle leaning against the door frame of the room.

"Good news?" He asked, a huge smile across his face as he walked over to me.

"That was Seattle University...they have a job opening in the Lit Department and asked if I wanted an interview for the job!" I squealed, jumping into his arms. He picked me up and spun me around before putting me back down, keeping his grip on my arms firm.

"Bella, honey, that's amazing!" He said and spun me around again. We heard a knock at the door and saw Emmett standing there, looking really annoyed.

"I hate to interrupt...but it's eight o'clock...on a Saturday!" He yelled. I looked at Carlisle and laughed before looking back at Emmett.

"Sorry, Emmett. We'll be more quiet." I said and he ran off and slammed the door to his room. Carlisle closed the door and soon returned to me.

"This is...so wonderful, Bells." He said and pulled me close. He kissed me gently before leading me back to my room and falling back asleep.

* * *

><p>"Come on! Come on wake up!" Alice shouted from outside our door a few hours later. I yawned and sat up and gently shook Carlisle awake until he opened his eyes.<p>

"Huh?" He asked, his voice horse.

"Alice wants us up." I said, kicking the covers off and putting on my undies and his t-shirt. He, however, stayed in bed. "What?"

"Let's just stay here all day. The minute we go out there, we won't get anytime together until they go to bed." He grumbled.

"Carlisle, I want to share this with them. I want them to be apart of this. Get up." I said and threw his boxers at him, which landed on his head. I giggled as he mumbled something and got out of bed, putting them on his body. "Don't be so grumpy. It's still our day." I said, taking his hand once we were dressed. He sighed dramatically but walked downstairs with me where there was a pleasant surprise waiting for us. Alice and Emmett were standing my a table set for two, a white tablecloth overtop of it. Candles covered the room as rose petals covered every inch of floor and table.

"What...is this?" I asked.

"Congratulations, guys!" Alice squealed, hugging me tightly.

"Thanks, kid." Carlisle said, kissing the top of her head.

"Now, for the food. For breakfast today, we have pancakes and waffles prepared special for you...made specially by the kind people down at Black's Diner." Emmett laughed as Carlisle pulled out a chair for me. "Bon appetit!" He exclaimed, putting the food down in front of us.

"Thanks guys, so much." I said as Carlisle took my hand. They both snuck out of the room, but not before Alice pressed 'play' on the stereo in the kitchen. Carlisle and I ate in sweet silence, neither of us needed to say anything. All that we were feeling, all of our words were locked in each other's eyes. I began listening more carefully to the music and realized my favorite song had come on.

"Oh, I love this song." I said as_ When a Man Loves a Woman, _the Michael Bolton version, came on. Carlisle looked up and smiled before standing up and walking over to me. He extended his arm and I gladly accepted, he pulled me up and into his warm embrace. He began to sing softly in my ears and I couldn't help but blush.

"When a man loves a woman, spend his very last dime. And trying to hold on to what he needs." He whispered and I snuggled deeper into his shoulders. "When a man loves a woman." He whispered as the song came to an all too soon end.

"I love you," I whispered, taking my head off his shoulders and looking into his eyes

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." He said, quoting Arisdotal.

"Arisdotal?" I asked, he had never been much of a quote man.

"Yeah, I had a whole speech for proposing to you that I didn't use." He said, and shrugged.

"Why not?"

"I got lost in your eyes." He admitted and I leaned in for another passionate kiss. Alice and Emmett let our alone time continue, disappearing to friends houses later in the afternoon. We were laying in bed together when I got a call from an unknown number. I sat up and flipped my phone open.

"Hello?" I asked, as Carlisle nibbled at my neck.

"Bella Swan?" The strangers voice asked. Carlisle moved his lips down my back and I had to take all my power to push him away.

"Yes? Who is this?" I asked.

"I'm so sorry to bother you, but your father gave me your number."

"Okay?"

"It's your mother." She answered and my heart stopped. My mother. The mother who had left my Dad to take care of a seven year old by himself. Carlisle could sense my nervousness and began rubbing my back comfortably. "I'm sorry for bothering you but..." She started before I slammed my phone closed and threw it against the wall, having it break in two from the contact. I let out a frusterated scream and fell down onto my pillow. Carlisle was at loss at words at that point and kept rubbing my back.

"Bells?" He asked after my breathing had calmed down.

"My mother just called me." I said, beginning to cry. He pulled me into a sitting stance and pulled me into his chest. "She left us...twenty-two years ago. Just up and left...and now she's calling me?" I asked and he still didn't know what to say.

"Maybe, the guilt finally got to her." He suggested.

"The guilt?"

"For leaving you and your dad. Maybe she wants to make up lost time."

"No." I simply said.

"Bella,"

"No. She wants to make up lost time? That's something that occurs to you two years after you leave, not twenty-two years. I don't want anything to do with her." I cried, falling into Carlisle's built chest.

"You have a second chance with her, Alice and Emmett...they don't get that second chance with Esme."

"Yeah, the difference is, if they got one, they would want it. They wouldn't think twice. Esme didn't have a choice in leaving, my mom did."

"Valid point, but still. I think you should talk to her."

"I appreciate your concern about this...but no. I can't. She hasn't even sent me a birthday card since she left, and she left days before my seventh birthday." I was stubborn and he knew this. He didn't continue to try to talk to me about it, instead, he threw me his t-shirt and pulled on his boxers and led me outside into the cool April air. "What are we doing out here?" I asked as he grabbed my arms, trying to keep me warm.

"Here, look through this. Right there." He said, leading me over to a telescope I'd never even seen before. As I looked through the looker, all the lights in the house went off, and even in the neighborhood. I stood up and starred at him but her just pushed me to look.

"Okay, I give up. What am I looking at?" I asked after starring up at the sky long enough.

"You see that star, the brightest one in the sky right now?" He asked, pointing to a star that could be the north star.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know it's name?"

"Ummm, no. Carlisle..."

"Well it's name is...Bella." He said and my head spun around to look at him.

"Wha...what?"

"I named a star after you." He said and I snapped my head in his direction. No. He wasn't serious. But once I saw him pick up a piece of paper and began reading something very formal and professional, I knew he was for real. A smile spread across my face as I ran to him, he lifted me up as I ran into him, my legs wrapping around his waist.

"Thank you." I cried as a tear streamed down my cheek. He kissed me right where the tear was before speaking.

"You're welcome." He whispered, leaning into kiss me passionately. The kiss broke when we were out of air and he gently put me down, not letting go of me.

"I love you. So much."

"I love you too. Thank you for everything you do for me Bella."

"Me for what I do for...you?"

"You've taught me it's possible to love again. That it's okay to love someone just as you loved the first. I am always going to love Esme, but you...I'm going to be in love with you until the day I die." I just starred at him, teary eyed before leaning in to kiss him again. This is what life is meant for. Moments like this. This is what true love felt like.


	13. Everybody's Screaming

**Chapter Thirteen: Everybody's Screaming**

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><p><span>Bella POV<span>

"Emmett, remember the engagement party is at six...PLEASE be there on time...if not earlier." Carlisle told him that morning before the two of them went to school.

"Dad, chill. We'll be on time." He answered, grabbing his bag.

"We?"

"Yeah, Bella said Jacob and Collin could come too." He said and Carlisle glanced at me. "Rosalie was busy tonight so I asked Collin to come." He shrugged.

"Alright. If Bella said it was okay, then it's okay." Carlisle huffed as Alice and Emmett left. "I thought we agreed to keep it family and wedding party only." He said, looking at me.

"We did, but come on. Him and Ali were going to be so board without some of their friends. Besides, Rosalie will be his date and Jacob is already invited."

"I know but..."

"Babe, what's the problem? Jacob is like a second son to you."

"It's nothing. It just caught me off guard." He said and looked at his watch. "I gotta go to work." He said, getting up and kissing me softly. "Good luck on your first day. I know your going to do great."

"Thanks. I hope so. I'll see you at five?"

"Or earlier." He smirked.

"Oh earlier?"

"Maybe..." He smirked and I rolled my eyes. "I love you." He said, putting his forehead to mine.

"I love you too." I said and kissed him. I watched him as he left the kitchen and smiled. I was the luckiest girl in the world. I paced around my room for about twenty minutes before getting ready. I looked in the mirror one final time before grabbing my bag and getting into the car Carlisle insisted I buy after my truck had broken down for good. I took a deep breath and began driving. I arrived on campus right on time and walked into a full class room.

"Hello." I said, walking in and setting my books down. The class greeted me and we dove right into the material. They had been reading my all time favorite and were right in the middle of it. Teaching came to me like second nature. It was nothing to me, and luckily for me, they took to a new teacher quite well and my first class went quickly and easily. It was finally the end of the day and I was able to go home and get ready for the engagement party. I was putting on my dress when I heard the front door open and footsteps coming upstairs.

"Hey beautiful." Carlisle greeted, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Hi yourself." I said and leaned into kiss him, but unfortunately, the kiss was ended too fast.

"Sorry to intrude, but, Dad, you'd better get ready. We have to be there soon." Alice said and Carlisle went and began his shower. Alice hovered in the door way and I could tell she needed talking to.

"What's up, Ali?"

"Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, of course. What's up?" I asked, waving her over to sit on the bed next to me.

"I'm happy for you. You and Dad." She said.

"Thanks, Ali. It means a lot to me that you can tell me that, but you've already told me that. Several times. Tell me what you really need to talk about." I said and she gave in.

"Jasper is going to be there tonight, right?"

"Yes. Him, my dad and step-mom are driving in for the party. Why?"

"Because, we've been talking on the phone and skypeing for like two years..."

"Ah. I get it. He's crazy about you Ali. You are all he ever talks about when I talk to him. If it's right, it's right. Don't push it. LEt everything fall into place for itself." She then threw her arms tightly around my neck, staying there until Carlisle knocked on the door.

"You ladies ready?" He asked, tying his tie. Alice looked up at me and skipped off to the car. Carlisle took my hand and we walked down to the car together. We arrived at the hall not too long after. Everyone was already there, except for Emmett and his friends and after a while, Carlisle became annoyed.

"Carlisle, honey. It's only been twenty minutes. Maybe practice ran late." I said, trying to calm him down.

"Then call for god sake! I swear that boy cares about no one but himself." He shouted, now just angry. He tried to hide his anger, but after an hour had gone by and still no show from Emmett, we both became worried. We tried calling him about a hundred times, but no answer.

"His phone probably died from playing Temple Run or something." I suggested.

"No, he...he keeps a charger at school and in his book bag just in case. I know, I put them there." He said and continued pacing. We left our phones in the coat room so we could give our small speeches.

"Life is all about moments. Weather they are good or bad. My life, has always been the greatest moment, or the worse moment. After loosing my first wife, Esme, I didn't think I'd ever love again." He started and I smiled at him as I saw out of the corner of my eye, his mother leaving with the owner of the hall. "But then this lovely young lady came into my life and showed me it's okay..."

"Carlisle?" His mother asked, sounding worried. Carlisle looked up at her the same time I did and I became worried immediately. "Emmett." She said and we both ran over to her, taking the phone from her hand.

"Hello?" Carlisle answered. "Wh..what? Who was driving? How bad? We'll be right there." He said and grabbed my hand, pulling me out to his car.

"Carlisle? Carlisle what happened?" I asked as he began speeding away.

"Emmett and his friends were in a car accident!"

"What? How?"

"Idiot driver was texting and hit them." He said and kept his hands firmly on the wheel. We arrived at the hospital and ran to the patient list. We ran to the room Emmett was being treated, but weren't allowed inside.

"Marcus? What's...going on?" Carlisle asked. "How is he?"

"Better than the other two. He was in the backseat and the impact was on the front, and he was thankfully wearing a seatbelt. The other's weren't."

"Oh no. How are Jacob and Collin?" I asked and his face grew sad.

"Jacob is in critical condition and Collin..." He said and took a moment to breath. "Collin was killed instantly." He said and I fell into Carlisle, trying to hide the tears.

"Killed?" Carlisle asked.

"The car hit on the driver side, mostly. Jacob...at this point, has a fifty-fifty shot of living."

"And Emmett?"

"Emmett is...physically going to be fine. A severe concussion, a few broken ribs, a broken knee cap, and cuts and bruises all over him, but he will live. He should be walking up soon."

"I just want to clarify this, they weren't the ones texting were they?" Carlisle asked.

"No, Carlisle, Collin was the one texting when this happened. He ran a red light doing so." He answered and Carlisle began breathing heavy. "You can go sit with him if you'd like."

"Do Collin's parents know?" I asked Marcus.

"No one has been able to reach them."

"I'd like to tell them, in person." Carlisle spoke up.

"No, yo be with Emmett, we can handle this."

"I want to. I've known them since Emmett was ten, I think telling them in person would be better." He said and Marcus nodded. He walked away and Carlisle turned to me. "Come with me. I can't tell them by myself." He said and I nodded. We went in and sat with Emmett for a while but Carlisle concluded he wouldn't be waking up for a long time, morning even, and we left to go to Collin's house. We sat in the driveway for about half hour before waling up to the front door.

"Carlisle, how nice to see you." Mrs. Littlesea greeted.

"Mrs. Littlesea?" He asked, not wanting to beat around the bush, her face dropped when she sensed our nervousness.

"What is it? What's happened?"

"You should sit down for this." He said and she let us inside. Her husband soon came into the room and Carlisle stood up, not being able to sit. "Collin, Jacob, and my son were on there was to our engagement party after practice."

"Yes, we know."

"And, Collin was texting while he was driving, and he ran a red light." He said and I saw a tear stream down his face. "Connie, Kevin. When Collin ran the red light, another car rammed into them and your son...was...killed instantly." He said and Connie broke into tears, falling into her husbands embrace. I stood up and grabbed Carlisle's hand, rubbing his back to stay calm.

"Instantly?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, he wasn't wearing his seatbelt and most of the impact was on his side of the car. They were turning onto the highway, it was a pretty powerful hit."

"And the other's?" Connie eventually asked.

"Jacob was in the front with him, and he also wasn't wearing a seatbelt. He is in critical condition and has a fifty-fifty chance of making it." He said and I could tell he was trying his hardest to keep it together.

"Emmett?"

"Emmett was...fortunately wearing his seatbelt. He was also in the back seat and felt the lest amount of impact." Carlisle said and I could tell he began feeling horrible. His son was going to live and theirs was already gone. It took a while for them to calm down enough to come to the hospital with us. Carlisle led them to the Medical Examiners office and we left them to see their son alone. We knew Emmett would not be up yet, and decided to look in on Jacob and his Dad. Carlisle tapped lightly on the door and heard a strained 'come in' from Billy.

"How is he?" I asked, walking over and putting a hand on Billy's shoulder.

"He's hanging on." Billy cried and Carlisle left the room and returned with Jacob's charts. He didn't look happy. We left the two alone and ventured back to Emmett's room to await the long, sleepless night ahead.

* * *

><p>I awoke the next morning, stiff from sleeping on the couch in Emmett hospital room, and found Carlisle was no longer next to me. I looked around the room and saw him sitting my Emmett's side, his head bowed in what looked like a prayer. I stood up and walked over to him, kneeling next to me.<p>

"Hey." I whispered and kissed his cheek and he forced a smile.

"Hi. He was awake for a little bit, but they put him on more pain meds and he was out like instantly. I didn't even get to speak to him."

"It's okay. How's Jacob? You know?"

"He's still out. They don't know if he's going to come out of the coma or not. That could have been Emmett." He said and his head fell onto my shoulder.

"But it wasn't. Thank god you hammered that into his brain."

"Hammered what?"

"Always wear your seatbelt. He's going to be fine, honey."

"I know, I just can't believe...Collin is gone. I've known him since he was ten. Emmett's never go to recover...especially if Jacob dies too."

"Let's not worry about Jacob not living right now, let's pray for him and his family." I said and he nodded. "Have you talked to your mom?"

"Yeah, she's going to keep Ali at there place until Emmett is up and alert. I don't want Alice to see him like this." He said, pointing to the tubes going up Emmett's nose. I nodded and pulled a chair over and took his hand in mine. We sat there in silence until Carlisle began paying closer attention to the heart monitor. After about another hour, Emmett's eyes began opening and closing. I let out a sigh of relief and began crying out of gratefulness. Carlisle ran out of the room to get Marcus and I grabbed Emmett's hand.

"Bells?" He asked, his voice low.

"It's me, Em. Your Dad went to get Marcus. Are you okay?"

"My head hurts, but no big deal. Are Collin and Jacob okay?" He asked and my eyes filled with tears again. Bella, what..." He started to asked but Marcus and Carlisle walked in and we had to leave so Emmett could be examined. Carlisle paced the hallway until Marcus stepped out of the room.

"So?"

"He's going to need a lot of physical therapy for his knee and ribs."

"I expected that."

"And he won't be able to go to school for at least three weeks, maybe more."

"Okay."

"But, thankfully, there was no permentant brain damage, and there is no sign of amnesia."

"Oh thank god."

"You need to tell him, Carlisle. He can't sit here and wander about them." He said and walked away. I took his hand and lead him into the room where he sat next to Emmett.

"What's up, Dad?" Emmett asked as if nothing were wrong.

"Em, son, the car wreck..."

"Yeah, Collin's a freaking idiot. Ran a red light. All of our friends knew he'd be the first to total a car." He laughed, but the smile vanished when he saw Carlisle's face. "Dad?"

"Collin, he didn't make it, Emmett."

"Didn't make it?" Emmett asked and showed the first glimpse of fear.

"He was killed instantly, son."

"Killed?"

"Yeah, I am so sorry, Emmett. You were turning onto the highway, the man who hit you was going full speed and most of the impact was on Collin's side. He wasn't wearing his seatbelt either." He said and Emmett grabbed his waist where the seatbelt would go.

"J-j-jacob?" He stuttered.

"He's alive, but in really bad shape."

"How...bad?"

"Critical. They say he has about a fifty percent chance of living. He hasn't woken up yet." He said and Emmett's eyes began filling with tears. Emmett refused to speak to us for the rest of the afternoon and we had to leave to be with Ali. We said our goodbyes and Carlisle got in the passenger seat of the car, but I could tell he was having a hard time.

"Babe?" I asked, stroking his arm.

"He isn't going to recover. Collin was his best friend. I can't...watch him fade into nothingness because of this. It was hard enough to watch when his mother died, I can't watch him do this to himself again." He cried.

"Shhh. We'll worry about that when the time comes."

"The time is already here, Bella!" He yelled and I took my arm away from his arm.

"Don't...yell at me." I said sternly and his face softened. "Right now, we need to focus on getting him better and out of the hospital."

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. It's just that..." He said, taking a moment to think. "Watching him deal with Esme's passing, killed me. It hurt me knowing I couldn't do anything to help him. Collin was one of the only people he 'opened up to' after her death, they were each other's rock."

"But, what about Jacob? They've known each other since like birth."

"Jacob didn't know how to handle it. He lost his mom really young, he wasn't sure what to say. He's still coping. It was easier for Em to go to Collin for support." He explained and I began rubbing his shoulders.

"He's going to get through this. And so are we. Together." I said and he turned to face me, and let a soft smile spread across his face.

"Together." He agreed.


	14. Use Your Voice

**Chapter Fourteen: Use Your Voice**

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><p><span>Carlisle POV<span>

It had been a week since the car accident that took Collin's life, but I was so grateful my son was not taken my that car accident. Emmett was still refusing to talk, and we had to drag him to the funeral service today.

"God, our refuge and strength, close at hand in our distress; meet us in our sorrow and lift our eyes to the peace and light of your constant care. Help us to hear your word of grace, that our fear will be dispelled by your love, our loneliness eased by your presence, and our hope renewed by your promises . In Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen." The minister began the sermon. "Collin Littlesea died at a tragic age. Almost a high school graduate, almost a college student, his future was right there. Horrible things happen to the best of us. It is this time, this time of need, that we look to the people we love, and thank God they are still here." He said and I squeezed Bella's knee. She took my hand in mine as Emmett stood up and walked to the front of the church. "Collin was an only child, so his best friend, Emmett, said he'd be honored to give a speech."

"When I was in forth grade, Collin was the nerdy new kid. He had glasses, braces, and was just...socially awkward." He laughed and everyone joined in. "But, he came back after the summer break. No glasses, no braces. He wasn't too shabby looking. I remember how our friendship began. We were playing kickball at recess, and the ball got kicked right in my face, right in the nose. I began crying, and now thinking about it, completely overreacting, but the other kids on the field, including my best friend, Jacob, began laughing and pointing. Collin, being the nice nerdy kid he was, came and asked me if I was okay and offered to help me up to the nurse. He was the first person to call once I got home from the hospital. Ever since then, Collin, Jacob, and I became inseperable. We were so close, we were almost girls." He joked and everyone laughed again.

"Collin was the kid I could go to and talk about what was going on, and get really good advice, even though we were only twelve. Unfortunately, once high school started, we drifted apart. He began hanging out with the 'bad crowd' but we knew, whenever we needed it, we had each other's backs. When my mom passes away freshman year, I went to his house to cry about it, to talk about it, and I was grateful. He was too young, he shouldn't have died the age he was or the way he did. So, before I finish, let me give you this advice. Don't text and drive. Whatever it is, can wait until you are stopped. Responding to 'I'm going to get laid tonight' isn't worth loosing your life. Thank you." He said and ran out of the church.

I followed him outside and found him sitting on a bench, hunched over and shaking violently. I walked over to him and sat next to him, not saying a word. He eventually sat up and looked at me.

"That was a really nice speech, Em." I said and rubbed him on the back.

"They still don't know if Jacob is going to live, Dad."

"I know. He's getting better though."

"But he isn't right now." He said and I knew he was going to need professional help in dealing with this.

"Emmett, son, you have to try and be positive. For Jacob. For Mr. Black. For Collin. For yourself. Right now, you have to worry about you. Getting back into the swing of things." I said and took a few deep breaths before going back into the sermon. The rest of the funeral passed tearfully, and I was glad when we got home. Emmett ran to his room, slamming the door while Alice lingered downstairs talking to Bella about bridesmaids dresses. I stood in the doorway to the living room, watching the two most important girls in my life. Alice was doing so well with my marrying Bella an a smile spread across my face knowing, she was healing. The doorbell rang and I let them continue talking, thinking it was just the pizza guy.

"Hi?" I asked when a strange woman was standing on my porch, not the pizza man.

"Hi, is Bella here?" I asked and looked at Bella who had been paying attention. "I heard this was her current address from her father."

"Who are you?" I asked, a lot more angry than intended.

"Her mother, Renne." She answered and my moth dropped. I heard Bella tell Alice to go upstairs before her 'mother' began speaking again. "Is she here?"

"No. Go away!" Bella yelled, running over to me, hiding slightly behind my back.

"Bella, you are every bit as beautiful as I thought you would be." Her mother said, but Bella wasn't buying. She kept her distance and kept her arms folded across her chest. "Please."

"No!" Bella yelled and I had to hold her back from pouncing on her mom. "You left! You up and left Dad and I! I was seven! How do you think when it was the second grade breakfast with your mom...and your mom had left you?" She yelled and I continued holding her.

"I admit, it was a mistake..."

"A mistake? A mistake is not showing up to that breakfast because you didn't know what day it was. Not because you left us!" Bella yelled.

"Babe, please calm down." I whispered in her ear, but she jerked away from my grip.

"Leave. Now. I don't...want to see you again." She said flatly. Her mother began protesting but soon realized she was fighting a loosing battle and left. Once she was gone, Bella continued breathing heavily, looking like she had the wind knocked out of her. I walked over to her and pulled her into my chest. She tried to resist, but gave up and fell into me, sobbing. "I know I should be happy she finally decided to come. Every single day, I wished for this moment, but now that it's here...I couldn't. She left us." She sobbed.

"I know. It's okay." I whispered, kissing the top of her head. I pulled out of her hug and pulled her to the couch, pulling her onto my lap. We sat there for a while, just holding each other. But, unfortunately, the phone rang, breaking our peace.

"Dad?" Alice asked at the bottom of the stairs. "It's Marcus. Something about Jacob." She said and I sprang up from his seat, grabbing the phone.

"Carlisle?" Marcus asked.

"Yeah, Marcus, what is it?"

"Jacob woke up not too long ago." He said and I let out a sigh of relief. "But..."

"No...no buts."

"He's going to have to relearn almost everything. Walking, talking, behavior. Everything he learned as a kid, in high school." He said and my spirit dropped a bit.

"Seems...reasonable. He's alive at least." I said as Bella walked over to me and began stroking my arm. I turned and smiled at her, grabbing her shoulder and bringing her into me.

"He's like three year old, though."

"Is he alive?"

"Yes, but..."

"That's all that matters. When can he have visitors?"

"Carlisle, he just came out of a week long coma, not for a while." He said and I began grasping everything. Emmett wasn't going to have to loose everything dear to him after all. Marcus gave me the rest of the details before hanging up. I hung up the phone, dropped it on the floor and sat on the step. Bella sat next to me and I laid my head on her shoulder.

"He's alive?" She asked, her voice strained.

"Yes. Barely, and they say he has the brain and knowings of a three year old - but he's alive." I said, shaking my head.

"Three year old?"

"He's going to need to lear how to walk, talk, behave again, but he's alive." I said and she continued sitting with me until I heard Emmett's door open, and I stood up to help him down the stairs. "I have some good news." I said, helping Emmett into the recliner in front of the TV.

"Yeah?" He asked, nothing to his voice.

"Jacob is awake." I said and he muted the TV and turned in my direction. "He's functioning like a toddler right now, he's going to need to be taught how to walk, talk and other things before he can be 'normal' again, but he's awake and alert." I said and I could tell the personallity change when I told him about the mind of a three year, but even he couldn't hide his gratitude.

"How long could that take?"

"Depending. It could be weeks, months, years."

"Years?"

"Yeah, I mean how long did it take you to have a full vocabulary. It'll take time, Em."

"When can I see him?"

"I don't know, Emmett. I'll let you know as soon as I can." I said and he nodded, un-muting the TV and I nodded for Bella to follow me upstairs. I pulled her into our bedroom and shut the door, locking it behind me.

"What?" She asked and I didn't answer with my words, I answered my jamming my tongue in her mouth. She stood there, confused for a minutes, but soon wrapped her hands around my neck and I picked her up, carrying her to our bed. "Carlisle..." She moaned and I knew I had to answer her 'what' from earlier.

"I'm just...so grateful. Jacob and Emmett are alive. Alice is...doing amazing. And, you'r mine." I said and she answered my undoing the belt on my pants. That nights, we took our time. Touching, kissing, loving. There was no rush, life was looking up and there was no need to be fast. We loved each other and Bella would always be with me.

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><p>The weeks following Jacob's waking up seemed to be the hardest on Emmett. Watching his eighteen year old friend learn how to say 'Dad' and watching him learn to walk put a damper on him. Thankfully, the rehab place they had placed him in was doing miracles and Jacob was progressing. Emmett was about to loose his top and I was thankful he was able to return to school for half days at the end of April.<p>

"How about, February 24 for the wedding." Bella suggested as we lay in bed together one night.

"February 24?" I asked.

"Yeah. Winter time...I love it."

"Then a winter wedding you should have, but why not December or January?"

"Because, those months are really busy for people. I don't want them having to go out of their way for the wedding. I want everyone there."

"Everyone? Including your mother?" I asked. I had been trying to get her to speak to her since she came to the house, but she continued refusing.

"Carlisle, I don't want to hear about this right now." She huffed, getting out of bed and putting on one of my t-shirts.

"Where are you going?" I asked, sitting up.

"I need ice cream. Coming?" She asked and I jumped out of bed, grabbing my boxers and following her out of the room. We ate a whole tub of ice cream together, not before coating out bodies with half, but none the less. We jumped in the shower together and got back into bed. I watched her fall into a peaceful sleep and thought of how lucky I really was. Esme had died too soon. Yes. But I know this is what she wanted for me. I never had to feel guilty for loving Bella, and for that I was grateful. I had another person in my life to hold my hand, lend a shoulder, give a kiss to. I kissed the top of her head before settling onto my pillow to drift back asleep.

"Goodnight, my love. I love you, more than you know." I whispered before falling asleep.


	15. Stand a Little Taller

**Chapter Fifteen: Stand a Little Taller**

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><p><span>Bella POV<span>

"So, Bells?" Angela asked as we were at our final fitting a week before the wedding.

"What?" I asked as the saleslady zipped my dress up.

"Next time you put this on you'll be walking down the aisle!" She screeched.

"I know!" I exclaimed. One week. And then I'd be with the man of my dreams. The rest of the fitting went along easily and we were out of the shop quickly. I found Carlisle in his office, playing a video on his computer I thought. I stood at the door and listened in.

_"Hi, you've reached the Cullen's. We aren't in to take your call right now, but we'll get back to you as soon as we can." _He was playing the answering machine message I had made the other day. I opened the door a crack and he sat in his big leather chair, hair messy, still in PJ's, not shaven.

"Carlisle? Honey?" I asked, walking in. His head shot up to look at me, and threw the machine on his desk. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." He lied.

"Then, why are you listening to that machine over and over...and why aren't you dressed?"

"Didn't feel like getting up." He lied again.

"Carlisle. Tell me the truth." I said sternly and his head dropped, looking ashamed.

"Do you ever feel like...like we're moving too fast?"

"What?"

"Do you think we moved to fast in our relationship?"

"No."

"You don't think we kind of pushed it?"

"No, I don't." I answered, becoming angry he was even talking about this. "Why?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Because, I think we pushed our relationship. It went too fast." He admitted and I had to hold back tears.

"Why?"

"Because, I knew I had feelings for you. But I wasn't ready to act on them. I also wasn't ready to watch you to go to New York."

"So what? You're telling me that you went after me because you felt forced?" I almost screamed.

"Not...entirely."

"Its a yes or no question, Carlisle."

"Fine, then yes. I would have acted on them...eventually."

"Eventually?"

"Yeah! I wasn't ready to be in love yet!"

"Are you ready now?" I asked and he dropped his head, refusing to look at me. "Carlisle?"

"I don't know."

"So...what do you want to call of the wedding or something?"

"I...I don't know." He whispered and tears began streaming down my face. "I want to marry you...but I don't know if I can, Bella." He said and I just shook my head.

"Fine." I said, sliding the ring off my left finger and slamming it on his desk. "I'll make it easy for you." I said and ran out.

"Bella!" I heard him call but I couldn't turn back. After that, if I looked at him I knew I'd be sick. I grabbed my coat and ran out the front door. I didn't know to where, but I could stay there. I walked forever and found myself sitting on a park bench near Seattle University. I was starring straight ahead, but I didn't see anything, it was freezing outside, but my body was numb. Nothing mattered anymore.

"Bella?" I heard a familiar voice asked and I turned my head slowly and saw Edward...of all people, standing there, holding what looked like a one year old in his hand.

"Edward?" I asked.

"What's wrong?" He asked sitting down and placing the baby on his lap. "You look upset."

"Wow, nothing gets by you." I snorted. "Sorry. Bad mood." I said once I saw the look on his face.

"What happened?" He asked and I didn't want to be talking to Edward about this, but I couldn't not talk about it.

"I was engaged."

"Was?"

"Yeah, about ten minutes ago, I was a week from marrying the man of my dreams."

"Again...was?"

"He...well I...broke it off."

"I thought he was the man of your dreams?" Sure, now he listens to everything I say.

"He is. But, he didn't think it was right."

"Cold feet?"

"He was my boss, Edward."

"The guy who's wife died?"

"Yeah." I answered and we sat there, in the peaceful setting of winter before the baby began to fuss. "Who is this, anyway? I thought you guys had the baby like three years ago?"

"We did...we had another one about a year ago though. This is Carmen and Eleazar is at home with Jess."

"Family man, huh?" I joked.

"Guess so. Do you want to grab a cup of coffee?" He asked and I gave him a weary look. "Come on...Carmel Frap...your favorite."

"Sure." I finally said and he dropped Carmen off at there house before driving the two of us to the nearest Starbucks. He ordered and paid for me..even with my protests and we sat down and began talking like old times. "How's Jessica?" I asked and his eyes grew angry.

"She's...we're..." He stuttered.

"Edward?" I asked after he hadn't talked in a while.

"It's not working. The marriage. We weren't meant to be a couple we were meant for..." He stopped before he could say 'really great sex'

"Sex?" I finished.

"Yeah." He aswered sheepishly. "I think that's why I never wanted to break it off with. Jessica and I...we'd never left our rooms together. Never even talked about getting together, even after...you and I were over. But then..."

"She got pregnant."

"Yeah, I felt obligagted to marry her."

"Did you even love her?"

"I thought I did. But now, after four years of marriage, I realize I don't. Not like I loved you. I love her, because she's the mother to my kids, but not romantically."

"How does Jessica feel?"

"The same, I don't know how much longer we can do this. We've tried everything, and we aren't happy together." He said and I reached out and grabbed his hand. "We've tried couples therapy...alone therapy, set date nights, but...nothing works."

"I'm sorry."

"You are?"

"If I was in a dead end marriage, I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

"I'm so sorry. Really, I loved you so much."

"Then why did you do it?"

"You and I had had a really big fight..."

"The fight about transferring..." I remembered.

"Yeah, and then apparently you had a fight with Jess about something. I went to your place to try and apologize, but you had gone out with Ang or something and Jess was there. She was really angry with you and I was just really upset. We began drinking together and one thing led to another."

"Then...why'd you continue it?"

"I don't know. We had some sort of...power over each other. We didn't want to...but we were like drawn to each other. I told myself everyday, I'd stop but then..."

"It continued."

"Yeah. I'm never going to forgive myself for hurting you. You were the love of my life." He said and I showed a small smile.

"Maybe, you didn't want to stop...what you and Jess were doing because deep down, you knew I wasn't the love of your life. Not that Jessica is either, but maybe she's out there somewhere still." I suggested.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Being so...helpful...understanding?"

"I'm not angry anymore."

"You aren't?"

"No. Why stay angry when there wasn't anything you could have done about it. Being angry about it, was just pulling me down and I wanted to be happy. So somehow, I learned to forgive and forget. Because living my life in anger, wasn't doing anything for me." I said and it was his turn to shed a tear. We locked eyes for a moment, and I saw the reason I had fallen in love with Edward in the first place. But, I didn't feel anything at that moment, and I missed Carlisle.

"I should go. There's a lot to do...to cancel the...wedding." I sobbed and He threw our trash away and held the door open for me.

"Are you sure you don't want a ride?" He asked as we stood near his volvo.

"Yeah, it isn't that far from here. Thank though." I said and he hugged me, awkward at first but I soon melted into his body and then let go, watching him drive away. I began my walk down the street and stopped in front of a small, red house. I took a deep breath and walked up the pathway and knocked on the door. She opened the door and looked as if she just saw a deer in the headlights.

"Bella?" She asked.

"I needed...my...I needed my mom." I cried falling into her embrace. She let me inside, and I sat in the kitchen as she made hot chocolate.

"So, what happened?" She asked as she placed the mugs in front of us.

"The wedding...the wedding is off."

"Why? You seem so in love."

"I am. But he doesn't think he is or he thinks we're moving too fast. I don't know what's going on in his head, but in any case, we aren't getting married at the end of the week."

"Honey, I'm so sorry." She said. We sat awkwardly for a while before she began giving me her 'motherly' advice, to the best of her ability anyway. When it the sun began setting, I knew I couldn't stay here any longer. I'd taken just as much as I could handle with her. Angela didn't have her car so I called the only other person I was willing to call at this point.

"Bella?"

"Hi, can you come get me?" I asked and he agreed immediately. I gave him the address and sat with my mom until he arrived. I got into his Volvo and looked in the backseat and saw a preschool kid sitting in the back.

"Eleazar, this is Bella. Say hi." Edward told his son.

"HI BELLA!" He yelled.

"Hi. Thanks for picking me up."

"No problem. You hungry? I was taking him out to the diner near Seattle U."

"Sure, why not?" I said and he smiled before putting the car into reverse and backing out of the driveway. The meal turned out to be a lot more fun than I thought it would. Eleazar was just a ball of energy and never failed making either of us laugh. It was late by the time we had finished and paid and Edward had to carry a sleeping Eleazar to the car. He drove me to Angela's and parked in the driveway.

"Thanks for everything today, Edward. It really means a lot to me."

"Of course. I'll always be here, Bella. Weather we're together or not." He said and I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

"I know. And please, don't give up on your marriage just yet."

"I won't. Come on, the steps look icy...I don't want you falling." He joked and punched him in the arm but knew it was a good idea. Knowing me, I'd fall and twist my ankle. I got out of the car and he took my arm, helping me up the stairs. Once we were at the top, I saw a darkened figure sitting on the porch...and it wasn't Angela or Ben. He came out of the shadow and a huge knot formed in my stomach.

"Carlisle...I..." I began.


	16. I Won't Run

**Chapter Sixteen: I Won't Run**

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><p><span>Carlisle POV<span>

After the fight I had had with Bella, and after she gave me back the ring, I felt sick to my stomach. What was I thinking? Of course I was ready, I've been ready since she came back from New York. I listened to the answering machine recording again, trying to figure out why it freaked me out so much. But then, it came back to me. Esme had set our old one when we bought the machine. It was after we had come home with Alice. Ali was in the back round, screaming, Emmett was yelling 'super Emmett' in the back round, I was scolding him, and Esme was talking. We thought of changing it, but realized it was us. So we kept it and it had been like that for sixteen years.

Until the old machine fell off my desk and shattered, along with the tape. 'It's only a recording' I kept telling myself, but it was so much more than that. I knew I overreacted. It had only been two minutes since Bella stormed out, but I missed her already. I leaned back in my chair before noticing the picture of Esme, the kids, and I on a vacation to San Francisco. I picked at it and gently rubbed my thumb against Esme's face.

"Esme...what do I do?" I asked and I felt a cool draft of air. I starred at the picture before putting it down on my desk and looking up. I jumped out of my seat, almost letting out a scream when I saw who was sitting on the couch on the other side of my office.

"Carlisle." She said in her voice that seemed to always make me melt.

"E...Esme?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"It's me, darling. I'm here to help." She said, standing up and walking over to me. She placed her hand on my heart and I grabbed it in my hands. "Why would you do that, Carlisle?" She asked, slapping the back of my head.

"I don't know. A moment of cold feet I guess."

"No, darling. Moment of guilt." She told me, and I knew she was right. "Why do you feel guilty, Carlisle?"

"Because, I promised I'd love you forever. I vowed myself to you."

"Carlisle, we said 'until death do us part' It's okay to love again. Because, you also promised me you'd try to find someone else."

"I know...but."

"No, but's my dear. Do you know why she's here?"

"Because she answered my ad?"

"No, because I sent her. I sent her to take care of our hurting children, to love them...to love you."

"But..."

"You never were good at listening to orders." She mused. "I said no buts. Go to her Carlisle."

"I have no idea where she is. She could be halfway to Forks by now."

"Then find out where she is." She whispered in my ears.

"I love you, Esme."

"I love you too, Carlisle. Which is why you need to find Bella and marry her."

"What?"

"Because you aren't the man I fell in love with when you're unhappy. You're happy with her." She said and I kissed the top of her shoulder.

"I miss you, darling."

"I miss you too, Dad?" Alice said as she came into the room. I looked up at her and then looked back to where Esme had been standing, but she was no longer there. I shook my head before turning back to Alice.

"What do you need, Ali?" I asked.

"To know why Bella stormed out of the house...and why her ring is sitting on your desk?" She asked, rushing over and picking it up.

"We had a fight."

"Oh no...what did you do?"

"I began feeling guilty...for loving another person other than your mother...but after talking to your mother..."

"Talking to mom?"

"B...before she died, I realized I love Bella."

"Good...because I won't let you ruin something so perfect." She said and skipped out of the room. I turned back to where Esme was standing and there she was again.

"I miss you too, darling. Now, go Carlisle. Go get the girl you love." She said and I kissed her cheek before running to my room, changing and grabbing my car keys.

"Ali, please help your brother out today...he was complaining about his knee today so please coopererate. And Emmett...please let her help you if needed." I said before running out to my car. Her car was still in the driveway so I didn't think she was on her way to Forks quite yet. I drove around the city but saw no sign of her. I walked up to the Lit Department door, but she wasn't in her classroom or office. I began feeling helpless. She could have gone anywhere by cab or bus. I checked the most obvious place last, mostly because I didn't think she'd go for 'obvious' right now.

"Carlisle? what are you doing here?" Angela asked after she had answered the door.

"Is Bella here?"

"No, why?"

"We got into a fight, and I called off the wedding...kinda."

"Kinda?"

"Long story...but she officially canceled it, and I've had time to think and I want to marry her so badly."

"She isn't here. I haven't heard from her. I'll let you know if I hear anything, though." She said before closing the door. I was at rock bottom. I slumped into a lounge chair on their front porch and sat there until it grew dark. I was about to get up and go home until I saw a silver Volvo pulling into the driveway. I squinted my eyes to see who it was and almost had a heart attack when I saw.

Bella was in the car with Edward of all people. I watched them talk and laugh. My hands clenched into fists as I watched them. I saw her lean over to give him a kiss on the cheek before both getting out of the car. I was at a certain point of angry and I didn't know what to do with it. They walked closer to me and once they were on the porch before coming out of the shadow of the porch.

"Carlisle...I..." She stammered and Edward looked dumbfounded.

"What the hell is going on?" I yelled and I heard the front door open and saw Angela and Ben come out of their home.

"Nothing. Nothing is going on I swear." She defended and Edward nodded.

"Yeah...right..." I huffed.

"Carlisle...it's true." Edward said and I almost pounced on him had Ben not held me back.

"But why do you care? You didn't think it was right to get married." Bella said, crossing her arms.

""Right now! I thought it was too soon right now! You're the one who called it off!" I yelled as she moved towards me, but Edward had grabbed her arms.

"Because that's what I thought you wanted me to do!" She yelled. Ben let go of me so I could walk over to them. I stood very close to her as Edward let go of her arms and backed away.

"Why would I ever want that?" I asked, my voice dark and she continued to stare up at me. I walked away from her and over to Edward. "If I EVER see you near her again..." I was going to say I'll punch you in the nose. But I was just so angry at him, I'd always hated him for cheating on her but now, I hated him even more. MY right hand balled up into a fist and I rose it, plowing it into perfect Edward'd nose. He fell backward down the porch steps at contact.

"Carlisle! What the fuck!" Bella yelled and walked towards me. "Why'd you..." She started but I grabbed her upper arms and brought my lips forcefully to hers. I swiped my tongue passed her lower lip and she granted me access as she wrapped her arms around my neck, standing on her tiptoes. I pulled back when we were desperate for air and put my forehead to hers.

"Don't...don't do that again." She panted.

"Never again. I want to marry you, Bella. So much. I'm so SO sorry, I don't know what came over me when I said the things I said.

"It's okay. I should have known you'd get cold feet. I'm sorry for acting so irrationally and quickly." She said and our lips met again.

"Ummm, I don't mean to breakup this little reunion...but I think his nose might be broken..." I heard Ben say from the bottom of the porch. Bella looked at me and dragged me down the steps with her. She slipped halfway down and luckily, I was able to stop the impact. She burst into laughter once she was seated on the steps and I was beside her.

"Are...are you okay?" I asked between.

"Fine." She said, getting up. She was able to make it down the rest of the steps and walked to Edwards side. I knocked Ben out of the way and took a look at his bleeding, swollen nose. After examining it, it was in fact broken.

"Yeah, broken. Sorry." I said.

"It's cool, but damn! This fucking hurts!" He yelled and I helped him onto his feet, but once he tried putting weight onto his left foot, he buckled and fell back to the ground. "Damn, my ankle!"

"You probably twisted it when you fell down the steps." Bella said, glaring at me. I shrugged and mouthed 'sorry' before kneeling beside him.

"Nope, it doesn't look sprained. You might have a contusion though," I said before he looked at me like I was from another planet. "A really REALLY bad bruise." I explained and he nodded. Ben helped me to my car as Bella grabbed his son from the car. Angela took him inside before Bella got into the front seat.

"Damn, I need to call Jess. Tell her what's going on." Edward said, grabbing his phone out of his pocket. We arrived at the hospital and he was in and out in no time, and thankfully didn't press charges on me. I looked at Bella as he was limping out with Jessica's arms around his waist.

"Are you okay?" I asked, putting my arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. Watching them together."

"I'm over him, Carlisle. Trust me. It's over. And if you want some gossip, they aren't very happy. It probably won't make it another year." She said and giggled. "Serves them right." She mumbled.

"Damn right it does." I said, walking back to my office. She perched herself on my desk and held out her left hand.

"If it isn't too much to ask, I'd like the ring back." She giggled and I pulled it out of my jacket pocket and placed it on her finger. She leaned in and kissed me before pulling me into a standing position and playing with the bottom of my shirt.

"We should...probably...wait til we get back to the house." I panted once we were both shirtless.

"Why wait?" She whispered seductively into my ear. I threw her back on the desk and began unbuttoning the snap to her jeans and removing them. She undid my belt and pulled my trousers down, leaving us both in our underwear. I traced the outline of her spine until I found her bra clasp. I unclasped it with a twist and slid it down her arms and onto the floor. I leaned over and kissed the top of each breast as she slid her hand down my boxers and grabbed my length. I jerked as she slid them down off my body. I couldn't wait any longer, I slid her panties and positioned myself at her hot entrance.

I slowly slid into her and we both let out a loud moan of pleasure. I didn't move for a few seconds, wanting to savor every moment I had with her. I began to slowly thrust in and out. But slow and steady was out of the question as I began slamming into her, hard and fast.

"Fuck...fuck...fuck...Carlisle..." She panted as we both neared our climax. "Fuck...ohhhhhhh GOD!" She yelled as a thin layer of sweat coated our bodies and her walls began to clench around me. Finally, we both came - hard and I fell on top of her, breathless.

"One week. And we'll be doing this as a married couple." I panted, sliding out of her. I bent over and picked my boxers back up and gave her my t-shirt. She put it on as I sat down in my leather chair. She slid off of my desk and came to sit on my lap. "I love you. Please don't forget that." I said as she snuggled into my neck.

"Please, don't you forget that either." She said and I brought her face to mine, giving her a confused look. "You seem to forget that sometimes because of the guilt you feel about Esme. So, don't forget that either." She said and I brought her lips to mine, gently brushing mine against hers.

"I won't. I promise." I whispered.

"Oh...and I love you too." She giggled and I kissed her again. We sat there, holding, kissing each other for about another fifteen minutes before getting up and getting dressed. We took hands as we left my office. I opened the car door for her and she slipped inside. I couldn't help but watch her as she got into the car. I didn't deserve to be forgiven, I didn't deserve here. But I had her, and I would never take her for granted. She was mine and in one week, she'd be only mine.


	17. Here's to Love

**Chapter Seventeen: Here's to Love**

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><p><span>Bella POV<span>

"Do you really have to leave?" Carlisle asked for the millionth time as I stood in front of Angela's car.

"Yes, it's bad luck to see the bride twenty-four hours before the wedding. But relax, in twenty-five hours we'll be married. Together forever." I said and brushed my lips against his.

"Let's elope. I don't want to wait another twenty-plus hours to marry you."He joked, grabbing the bottom of my skirt. I playfully pushed his hands away and kissed him again.

"Tempting...but my dad would blow a gasket."

"I told him I'd help pay." He said, suddenly feeling bad.

"Babe, it's okay. I'm his only child, he wanted to do it for me. Trust me." I said before Angela honked the horn again. "I have to go." I said sadly, putting my forehead to his.

"Just think, next time we do this...will be at our wedding." He said, kissing me passionately. The kiss ended too soon and I got into the passenger seat of Angela's car and drove away.

"Earth to Bella?" I heard Angela say as she snapped her fingers in my face. I shook my head out of la-la land and turned to her. "Welcome back." She joked as she opened the door.

"Thanks. Tomorrow at this time...I'm going to be married to the man of my dreams. I can't believe this." I swooned. Angela and I spent the night like fifteen year old girls. We sat and watched Titanic and The Notebook until we cried, ate a massive amount of food, stayed up til three in the morning, and talked the whole time. It was my last night as a single woman, and it was the best way to end singe-hood.

Angela pulled up to the house and Alice ran out and jumped into the backseat. Carlisle and I had agreed on a small, simple wedding. Angela, Alice, and Carlisle's sister, Victoria were my only bridesmaids, and Emmett, Felix, and James, a childhood friend of his were his only groomsmen. Hair and make-up seemed to take hours, only because Alice insisted on everything being over the top. When we were finally done, we headed over to the church to get into the dresses. But we had drove near the Starbucks near my mother's house and I knew what I had to do.

"Bells? What are you doing? We're going to be late!" Ali screeched as I turned onto my mom's street.

"Ali, it's my wedding, I don't think they are going to start without me. Plus, I need to make something right." I said, pulling into my mothers driveway. I jogged to the door and knocked. It didn't take her long to open and the look on her face was a look of shock.

"Bella?" She asked.

"The wedding is back on...and it wouldn't feel right if you weren't there. Would you please come to my wedding...Mom?" I asked and her eyes began filling with tears. "I mean, I know this is last minute but..."

"Last minute is better than not at all. I would love to come." She said and I nodded with a smile growing on my face.

"Great...it means a lot to me. It's four at the church on Whitehall Road. I have to go..." I said before hugging her tightly. She left us, but I had forgiven Edward, maybe it was time I forgive her as well. Like I said, it takes to much time and energy to be angry at someone. I let go and jogged back to the car and drove to the church. Jasper and my Dad met us outside and helped me carry in my dress as Alice and Angela grabbed theirs. The guys left us alone and I watched the three of them get dressed, fiddling with my ring.

"Bella? Hello?" I heard Alice asked, clapping her hands in my face.

"Yeah?"

"You okay? You zoned out." Victoria observed.

"Fine...momentary freak out but it's gone. Help me?" I asked, unzipping the bag my dress was in. Once I was in, I looked in the floor length mirror and clasped my hand to my mouth.

"What?" Angela asked, sounding alarmed.

"I'm getting married!" I cried, trying to hold back my tears. Angela leaned into a hug, but a screaming Alice protested, saying the dress would wrinkle. We laughed it off and my Dad knocked on the door at three-fifty on the dot. "Come it!" I nearly shouted. He walked in with a huge grin on his face, but once he saw me, it faded away and tears formed in his eyes. "Daddy?"

"Damn. You really are grown up." He sighed and I leaned into hug him, but again Alice stopped us. He kissed my cheek and Victoria helped put the veil on my hair. I took a deep breath before walking to the church lobby, waiting for the doors to open. The music began to play inside and the doors opened. Victoria took James's arm and began walking down the aisle. Angela and Felix followed and by the time it was time for Ali and Emmett to go down, I gripped my father's hand tighter.

Pachelbel canon began playing and I hooked arms with my dad. He began walking and I followed, one step at a time. I lifted my head from watching my feet and my eyes locked with Carlisle's. The look on his face could have made me melt. I gripped my Dad's arm tighter so I wouldn't fall. I began breathing heavily, just wanting to be in his arm.

'I love you.' He mouths and a tear falls slowly down my cheek.

'I love you.' I mouthed as we reached the alter, Carlisle's eyes were already glassy...I wasn't sure how much we could take, we were already crying.

"Doubly blessed is the couple which comes to the marriage altar with the approval and blessings of their families and friends. Who has the honor of presenting this woman to be married to this man?" The minister answered, but my father stayed silent. I nudged him in the stomach and he finally perked up.

"I do." He said, leaning over and lifting my veil. He kissed my cheek before prying my hand from his arm, and placing it in Carlisle's.

"Isabella and Carlisle asked me to read this passage.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." He spoke and Carlisle gripped my hands tighter. The ceremony went fast than I thought it would, and before I knew it, it was our time to recite our vows to each other.

"Carlisle," I began taking a deep breath insuring I could speak. Alice handed me a tissue and I dabbed my eyes before continuing. "When I was five, I saw Cinderalla for the first time. That instant, I began to think of my prince, the perfect man. You don't even come close to what I imagined," I cried and he kissed my cheek before I continued. "You're a hundred times better. We've proven to each other that whatever may come our way...as long as we have one another nothing can come between us. I didn't think I'd ever know what 'true love' meant...until I met you." I cried and he had to wipe his eyes, Emmett laughed and gave him a tissue as well. "You are everything. My best friend. My perfect man. My prince. My true love. And I love you so much." I cried and he put our foreheads together.

"Bella," He began after we had collected ourselves enough to continue. "I promise you that I will always be true, to never pressure you into anything you don't want to do, to listen to your problems, to tell you you're the most beautiful girl I know, to always be there to help you, I promise to make you feel proud when you see me and say 'that man it my husband'." He said and the tears began flowing again. "I never thought I would have to deal with some of the things I have, but knowing that from this day forward, you're going to be there with me, is all I'm ever going to need to know. I promise that I will love you no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless and helpless we we seem, I will always love you. That's a promise. I love you Isabella Swan." He said and I couldn't help but kiss him.

"It is now time for the ring exchange. This ring shows the commitment you have to one another, whenever you look at it, you will see the other and feel loved." The minister said. I turned to Ali whose eyes were puffy and wet. I touched her shoulder and took the ring out of her hand. "Now, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring...I thee wed." I choked out. I slid it onto his finger and he closed his hand around mine. He turned around to face Emmett and picked my ring out of his hand.

"Carlisle, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring...I...thee wed." He cried as he slid it onto my finger. I reached up and touched his face and he grabbed my hand in his.

"Now, for the bonding of this marriage. Do you, Isabella Swan, take thee, Carlisle Cullen, to be your husband? To love and to cherish, for richer or poorer, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, til death shall part you?"

"I do." I said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"And do you, Carlisle Cullen, take thee Isabella Swan to be your wife? To love and to cherish, for richer or poorer, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, til death shall part you."

"I do." He cried and I saw a single tear run down his cheek.

"Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband...and wife. You may kiss your bride!" The minister exclaimed. I leaned into him and our lips met with a certain passion that we never had. This passion was soft and sweet, telling us we had our whole lives to be with each other. The sound of applause broke our kiss and I wrapped my arms around his waist. "Dr. and Mrs. Cullen everyone!" The minister exclaimed and the crowd stood up as we walked down the aisle. As soon as we stepped off the steps, the room errupted into When a Man Loves a Woman. I stopped and held him back.

"Is this for me?" I whispered.

"For us." He said and I kissed him again.

* * *

><p>Pictures had taken a lot longer than I planned and I was ready to dance with my husband. We stood outside the reception hall as the wedding party walked in.<p>

"Here they are! The newlyweds of the night! DR. AND MRS. CULLEN!" The DJ shouted and everyone began clapping. The doors opened and we walked in, holding each other tightly. We stopped in the middle of the dance floor and We're All Alone began to play. Once he began singing, Carlisle gripped my waist tighter.

"And hold me dear, oh hold me dear," Carlisle began to whisper in my ear. "Close the window, come alight. And it will be all right. No need to bother now, let it out, let it all begin." He whispered and my face snuggled deeper into his chest. I hadn't even realized the song had changed, or that anytime had passed until the DJ announced dinner was being served. Carlisle and I let go of one another and went to sit and eat. The music stopped and the DJ had the microphone in his hand again.

"This is a message to the bride and groom...you are to report to the dance floor immediately. Immediately, folks." He whispered and I looked at Carlisle who shrugged. He stood up and led me out to the dance floor. We looked over to where we had been sitting and saw Ali with a microphone in her hand and Emmett has his guitar in his.

"This is for my Dad...and my step-mom Bella, I love you guys. Em?" She asked and he nodded and began to play. "Here's to us. Here's to love. All the times the we messed up. Here's to you. Fill the glass. Cause the last few days have gone too fast. So let's give 'em hell, wish everybody will. Here's to us." She sang. I had never known she had such a beautiful voice, and had no idea Emmett was so good on the guitar. Neither Carlisle or mine eyes were dry when the song ended and we ran over to them, hugging them tightly.

"I love you guys!" I yelped after Emmett had put me down.

"We love you too, Bells. Dad, you ready?" Emmett asked as more people with insruments came out from behind the wall. Our long table was removed and a live band set up.

"Emmett, son, what is this?" Carlisle asked.

"You're wedding gift, from Ali and I both." He said and I had to hug him again. The new band began playing mine and my father's song. I excused myself and found him in the middle of the dance floor. I ran into his arms and hugged him tightly. The two of us barely moved our feet, we swayed to the music but were so teary, we didn't know what to do with ourselves. The song ended too fast, but once I Wanna Hold Your Hand came on, I let Carlisle take the dance floor with Alice and went over to Emmett who was singing beautifully.

The wedding reception flew by and it was just the wedding party and our families there now. Carlisle continued holding me from behind as the DJ played Fly/I Believe I Can Fly...from Glee...and everyone else dance together. Once Carlisle couldn't control himself from putting his hand on me, I determined it was probably be best to go upstairs to our hotel room. We went over and said goodbye to everyone and basically ran upstairs. Once we were in our bedroom though, I decided to go freshen up, leaving him wanting more. Angela slipped inside to help me unzip my dress and slipped out before Carlisle even knew she was there. I changed into the lacy, black lingerie. I didn't know why I had paid so much for something so little that was just going to be pulled off within seconds, but when I saw Carlisle's mouth fall open once I stepped into the bedroom, I knew why.

"What? Too much?" I asked and he just continued to stare. "Okay, I'll just go change into my pj's or something." I said and began to walk to the bathroom. I felt a forceful tug on my arm as he spun me around. I came to face to face with Carlisle who looked as if he were about to explode. "I thought it wasn't working?" I shrugged.

"You're fucking crazy if you think this wouldn't work!" He growled before shoving his tongue into my mouth.


	18. Every Time Our Eyes Meet

**Chapter Eighteen: Every Time Our Eyes Meet**

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><p><span>Carlisle POV<span>

The rest of the wedding passed very slowly...for me at least. The more I watched Bella dance in that wedding gown of hers, the more I wanted her. All the guests had left except for the wedding party and family and the DJ was playing some song from Glee Alice had requested. I was dancing with Bella and decided I had had enough. My hand slipped down her stomach until it was touching her core. She hissed and pushed my hand away.

"My...father is right there." She whispered in my ear as my hands traveled downward again. She smiled at me and grabbed my hands. We said our long, drawn out goodbye's to everybody and practically ran upstairs to the honeymoon suit we had. I began kissing her as soon as the door was closed, but she was being a horrible person when she left to go to the bathroom. I sighed dramatically and moved to the master bedroom and stripped to my boxers.

I continued pacing the room until I heard the bathroom door open. Why was I so aching to have her? We'd been together plenty of times but when she stepped out in a black, lacy lingerie, I knew exactly why I wanted her so badly.

"What? Too much?" She asked in a low, seductive voice. But my brain couldn't comprehend what she had just said, I was too distracted by her breasts that were practically popping out of the fabric. "Okay, I'll just go change into my pj's or something." She shrugged before turning around. I ran to her, grabbed her arm and spun her around into me. God...I wanted her so bad right now. "What? I thought it wasn't working?"

"You are fucking crazy if you think this wouldn't work!" I growled before shoving my tongue down her throat. The kiss grew even more intense and I picked her off her feet, her legs wrapping around my waist creating even more friction I desperately needed.

"Carlisle?" She asked, breathlessly as I kissed her neck.

"Hmmm?" I asked, walking into the bedroom, shoving her against the door frame.

"Fuck me." She whispered and my body went into autopilot. I kissed her again, and slammed her onto the bed, immediately removing the skimpy 'top' she had on. She was braless and I felt my erection grow even harder. We had never been so rough, so passionate before, but I was loving every minute. She pawed at the elastic of my boxers. I stepped back to remove them, settling in between her legs.

"Mmmm." She moaned as I rubbed against her core. I brought her lips to mine as I removed the panties from her body. They fell onto the floor and the head of my cock teased her. "No...don't...fuck...tease me." She panted after doing that a few times. I smiled at her before entering her sopping wet core.

"Fuck...fuck Bella!" I moaned when my speed increased. A thin sheet of sweat began forming on both our bodies as we were both almost climaxed. "Bella...fuck I'm gonna..." I started before I exploded inside of her. She was quick to follow and I fell on top of her, unable to breath or to even think. It took about five minutes for either of us to recover to the point of basic functions. I slid out of her, causing a moan to escape both our mouths and rolled next to her. I pulled the sheets over us, but she propped herself on her elbow.

"You think we're done here?" She asked, smiling at me. I moved to kiss her as she rolled over on top of me.

"Of course not...Mrs. Cullen." I whispered and she immediately began kissing my chest and then up to my neck as she slid me into her. This continued all night until we were both literally unable to do anything but breath. Waking up next to her had to be the best thing I'd experienced in a long time. I wiped her mattered hair away from her face and kissed the back of her neck. I felt her stir and then turn enough to face me.

"Good morning." She yawned, kissing me gently.

"Morning gorgeous." I said and deepened our previous kiss. I rolled on top of her and she groaned once she looked at the clock. "What?" I asked.

"The...breakfast Emmett and Alice prepared for us and our families...it's in like...an...hour." She panted.

"We don't have to be on time." I smiled and went to kiss her neck. She pushed me away and off of her, standing up to move to the bathroom.

"I said we couldn't have anymore sex in the bedroom. Now the bathroom in another story. You're welcome to join me." She said, putting emphasis on her ass as she walked away. Fuck, she was so hot. I stood up and ran to her side, grabbing her hips.

"Oh, well we can't be dirty when we see them, can we?" I said, kissing her and pushing her into the bathroom. Fucking her in the shower had to be the best times we'd ever had, and that was after the previous night. Something about being wet, soapy, and slippery made it that much more enjoyable. Plus the cold tile up against us brought a new level to hard I didn't know I had. We entered the quaint little breakfast room, ten minutes late and Alice almost had a fit.

"Ali, come on. It was there _wedding _night. I think we both know they weren't really thinking about the time with all the..." Emmett began before Bella playfully slapped him on the arm. The breakfast was brought out and everyone was seat, Bella and I in the middle. I glanced over and saw Jasper's arm around Alice's shoulder and almost lost it. Bella grabbed me before I could do anything rash.

"Relax. This is about us. She's seventeen." She whispered and I lightened up. I watched them sit together, feed each other. They hadn't had many chances to be together, living so far away, but I could tell the really did care deeply for one another. I was so focused on Bella last night I hadn't even seen how happy Alice was. I smiled and winked a fatherly wink when she looked my way.

When the breakfast was almost through, I stood up holding the champagne flute filled with orange juice in the air.

"Excuse me! I'd like to make a toast." I said and everyone quit talking and turned towards me. "They say, miracles happen only once in a lifetime." I quoted from Bella's childhood favorite song. "But, that's a lie. I have three amazing miracles in my life. My son, Emmett who just got his acceptance to Seattle University this August. My darling daughter, Alice who will be starting her final year of high school next year...top of her class. And my beautiful new wife, Bella, without whom, I wouldn't be able to survive. I love you baby and can't wait to create more miracles with you." I said and held the flute up and cheered Bella's. She stood up and hugged me tightly.

"I love you. You are my miracle." She whispered.

"I love you too." I said and kissed her passionately.

* * *

><p>We said our goodbyes to Alice and Emmett and entered the airport, going to Paris for our honeymoon. The two and a half our wait moved quickly with Bella by my side. She sat on my lap for the most part, and we were comfortable doing our own thing; reading Harry Potter (All her) reading Sports Illustrated, just holding each other in the peaceful silence. When our plane was finally called, we held hands the entire ride.<p>

We had both fallen asleep on the flight from Boston to Paris, but I awoke just as the sun was starting to rise. I smiled at the sight of her, asleep on my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head and shook her gently until her eyes opened.

"Hmm." She whimpered as she opened them. She looked up at me and smiled before kissing me softly on the lips.

"Look out the window, love." I said, nodding to the window. She sat up, letting the blanket fall to her waist and gasped.

"Oh...wow." She gasped at the breath taking sight before her. She grabbed my hand and I kissed it gently. "Being with you to see this, just makes it that more beautiful." She whispered as I grabbed her shoulder, pulling her into me again.

"Excuse me?" A flight attendant asked and we both turned towards her. "This is for you. Complements of the young gentleman sitting over there." She said pointing to an elderly man with I was assuming his wife asleep on his shoulder. "He thinks...no he says he knows your on your honeymoon."

"He know's right." I said, accepting the bottle of sparkling cider, since it was only seven thirty in the morning. I nodded my head towards the elderly man and he tipped his hat at us. Bella giggled and thanked the flight attendant.

_"Ladies and gentleman, it is a clear, beautiful day in Paris France. If all stays that way, we should be landing in thirty short minutes. Thank you for flying with us." _The captain announced over the intercom. Bella and I poured ourselves a glass of cider and toasted quickly before gathering our things up. The captain had been right, we were finally landed in about half hour. Bella and I walked off the plane and through the terminal, my hand agains her waist. We had almost made it out the door before my hand was gripped by someone else's.

"Congratulations to the both of you." The elderly man who had bought us the cider said.

"Thank you. Very much." I said, shaking the mans hand.

"I'm Caius, this is my wife, Jane." He introduced.

"I'm Carlisle, this is my...wife," I almost squealed. "Bella." I said and Bella nodded. "So, what brings you to the city of love?" I asked as we walked to baggage claim.

"Fifty wonderful years of marriage." He said and I couldn't help but be in awe. Fifty years.

"Wow, congrats." Bella said.

"Thank you, my dear. We hope your lives can be blessed with the same happiness God blessed us with those fifty years ago."

"Me too." I said and kissed the top of Bella's forehead. We talked with the couple for a while longer before meeting our car outside to take us to the hotel. We didn't make it very long before falling into bed, wrapped in each other's arms, falling asleep. We awoke a few hours later to the loud car horn and laughed as we woke up.

"Come on, pretty girl. Our dinner reservations is in an hour and half." I said, pushing her to the bathroom.

"I still don't get to know where we are going?" She asked.

"Nope." Was all I said and that earned me a stuck out tongue. Little did she know, I had the best night ever planned. We were dressed and ready to go and when she stepped to get into the car, I blindfolded her, earning a slapping of the head. I laughed, the more of a surprise it was, the better. We arrived at our destination shortly and I helped her out of the car and into the elevator. I pushed her around until I had her right where I wanted her.

"Carlisle, please. Can I take the blindfold off?" She begged and I finally said yes. She untied the blindfold and stopped breathing. "Oh..." She cried before tears started streaming down her face.

"I love you, Bella."

"Oh..." was all she was able to get out. People had heard of the place to eat inside of the Eiffel Tower, but not many people had the chance to eat on their private platform with a table set for two outlooking the city. "I love you." She said, running towards me. I caught her and lifter her just enough so her feet could touch the ground. Just as I set her down, a small fire began to blaze near the table, earning me another kiss.

"How?" She asked as our dinner plates were being cleared.

"I have connections." I said simply.

"In Paris?"

"Yeah, an old World War Two buddies of my dad was from Paris and was able to help me tonight." I said, giving my secret away. She stood up and walked around the little round table, stopping and sitting on my lap.

"You are the best husband anyone could ever ask for."

"I love you." I whispered before she leaned into kiss me again.

"I love you more."

* * *

><p>Bella and I spent the most blissful two weeks together. Each day presented itself with new adventures, exploring Paris...the city of love...together. We didn't go five minutes without kissing each other and we held onto each other constantly. And we spent almost every night having the most amazing sex we'd ever had. We were both kind of teary eyed when we loaded the car to leave the beautiful city.<p>

"Bye bed." Bella said, plopping herself on it one last time. I helped her up off and she said goodbye to everything we passed in the hallway. Check-out was simple and quick and we made it to the airport in no time.

"Carlisle!" A familiar voice called as we were sitting at the gate for our flight to Boston.

"Caius, good to see you. How was your trip?" I asked after all the greetings were done.

"Tres bon...very good." He translated. We talked for the rest of the half hour we had to wait and the parted as we took our seats. Our connecting flight to Boston was late and we didn't arrive until after midnight. Bella and I had watched the sunset together...enjoying a bottle of champagne Caius and Jane had sent over for us, before she fell asleep on my shoulder. I was exhausted, but couldn't bring myself to sleep. Sleep meant missing the precious minutes I had with her. I stayed up for a good portion of the trip before feeling a soft tap on my shoulder.

"Caius?" I asked, I had almost fallen asleep.

"Take care of her, you don't know how precious she really is." He said and I starred at him.

"I do though."

"Not until you find out she only has another two years to live." He said sadly. I looked over at Jane and realized they had just found out terrible news. "Alzheimer's. Found out about...oh I'd say three weeks ago."

"That's why you came to Paris."

"Yes, we didn't plan to do anything this big for our fiftieth, just being with our children and grandchildren would be enough. We had come here on our honeymoon, just like you two. She couldn't remember it all, the city, she had always been the one with the better memory. Now, I have never in my like taken advantage for my beautiful wife, but I have taken the time I have had enjoyed with her for granted."

"Sir?" I asked.

"I didn't think anything would split us up. We were the perfect couple who had survived war, and seporation, and parents divorce, and two miscarriages. We both took the time we had for granted. So, my advice to you is this. Cherish every single moment you have with this one right here."

"I do, I always will. This is my second marriage. My first wife, passed away from Melanoma Skin Cancer four years ago. Bella was believe it or not, the nanny I hired to help me take care of my kids. I now know what it means to have loved and lost, and I will cherish every moment I have with her. I never know what bad news is going to change that." I said, glancing back over at Jane who was propped against the window of the plane.

"Yes, well. Good luck to you, and again, congratulations." He said, shaking my hand and walking back to his wife of fifty years. It was hard loosing Esme after fifteen years, I couldn't imagine loosing someone after fifty. The rest of the plane ride I spent sleeping. Bella and I had booked a room at a Holiday Inn for the night and were up and on the next flight my ten a.m. We arrived home and were pleased my mother still had Emmett and Alice at her house.

The peaceful alone time didn't last long, because just as we had gotten up to our newly decorated room, the front door opened and slammed. I looked at Bella who shrugged and put the pair of jeans she was folding on the bed. We took hands and walked downstairs. Alice jumped Bella with twenty questions before she even had her coat off. The four of us spent a peaceful afternoon together before they went out with friends, leaving Bella and I alone.

She had already fallen asleep, but I couldn't help but stay up and watch her. I could feel my eyelids grow heavy as I leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"I will always be with you, always cherish you, never take what we have for granted." I promised, thinking back to what Caius had told me on the plane earlier. "I love you...forever." I whispered before sinking into the pilled, holding her close.


	19. Kiss Today Goodbye

**Chapter Nineteen: Kiss Today Goodbye**

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><p><span>Bella POV<span>

The months following mine and Carlisle's wedding had to be the most pleasant, but in late April when I hadn't gotten my period since the wedding, I became uneasy. Carlisle and I had never officially talked about having kids and I needed to be absolutely sure I was before telling him.

"Mrs. Cullen, we have your test results in." The nurse at my OB/GYN told me over the phone. I thanked her and called Angela before heading over to the office. Angela met me outside and we walked inside. I was completely nervous, but excited at the same time.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Cullen."

"Hi Dr. Clearwater." I said and laid back on the table.

"Your blood tests confirm you are about a month pregnant. Congratulations." She said and a smile spread across my face. Angela and I went to lunch together, but I knew this was Carlisle's half day at work so I rushed home to tell him the news. I walked inside to a wailing baby sound.

"What is that?" I asked Carlisle as I walked into his office.

"Dumb 'Real Care Baby' Ali has to take care of for health or something." He answered, clearing giving up on the work he had been trying to work on. "Thank god I'm done with the real ones." He sighed.

"The...the real ones?" I asked, my spirit dropping.

"Yeah, real babies. The ones that breath, and poop, and cry twenty-four/seven. I love my kids but I am so grateful they can take care of themselves." He sighed.

"Oh..."

"What?"

"I don't know, I didn't think it was a big deal."

"I do love kids. But I'm done with that point in my life. I'm forty-one, I don't want to be woken up every two hours to change a diaper."

"But, if they were our kids..."

"It won't matter, why worry? We aren't going to be having kids and that doll will be out of here at the end of the week."

"Yeah...the...the doll." I said, walking out of the room. Carlisle didn't anymore kids. He was happy with Emmett and Alice. I suddenly felt sick and I rushed into the bathroom, arriving just in time to throw up. I brushed my teeth and went into the small library, pacing around. I got out my phone and dialed the number.

"Bells?"

"Mom, I need your help." I cried into the phone.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"I just need to talk to you. Can we meet at Starbucks?"

"Sure. I'll see you soon." She said before hanging up. I almost ran out of the house, not wanting to be hit with twenty questions. The drive was short and I was sitting in the parking lot before I saw her walking up. I got our and greeted her with a gentle hug before going inside. Coffee wasn't good when you were pregnant, so I settled with Tea.

"So, Bella, what's going on?" She asked after we had finally sat down.

"Remember how you didn't want kids?"

"Yeah...mistake. Why?"

"Neither does Carlisle."

"Doesn't he have two kids already?"

"Well, he doesn't want anymore."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"I mean, I'm sure if you talked about it, he'd eventually change his mind and you could have them someday."

"Well, he'd better want them within eight months."

"What?"

"I'm a month pregnant." I said, trying to hide my excitement.

"Bella! Honey that's wonderful!" She screeched, getting up to hug my neck tightly. "I know that once you tell him your pregnant, he'll come around."

"You didn't."

"Bells, I was seventeen. I wasn't ready, your father and I weren't married...heck I wasn't out of high school. I felt cheated, not getting to do my late teens early twenties right, so I left...biggest mistake ever. You two are in love, your married."

"I know, I just feel like no matter how much he tells me, he'll never really want him or her."

"Maybe not, but that doesn't mean he won't love them with all he has. Trust me, I didn't want you when you came, but I did love you, but I was young and selfish and loved me more." She laughed as we took the last sips of our drinks. I was set on telling Carlisle when I got home, but the yelling and screaming told me different.

I ran upstairs to Ali's room where the screaming was coming from and dropped my head at the sight.

"What THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WE DOING?" Carlisle yelled at an almost naked Jasper, in just his boxers.

"Daddy! STOP!" Alice yelled as she put her robe on. "Nothing happened!"

"Nothing happened? If I HADN'T WALKED IN..." He yelled before stopping.

"Honey, calm down." I said, rubbing his back.

"You, get out of my house. And you...we'll talk about this later." He said and left.

"Bella.." She pleaded but I shook my head.

"Ali, I told him to trust you. Treat you like an adult, I'm sorry but I've never been so disappointed in you. And you!" I yelled at Jasper. "Are you insane? In his house? What the hell, Jazz?"

"It...wasn't supposed to happen..."

"A lot of things weren't supposed to happen, like me getting pregnant, but it happened anyway!" I yelled before I knew what I was saying.

"What?" I heard Carlisle ask from the door. "You're...you're...pregnant?"

"Carlisle..." I said and walked out of the room, taking his hand and dragging him with me. I brought us to our room and gently shut the door, waiting for the click to turn towards him. His hands were dug in his pockets and he looked uneasy. I walked over and grabbed his hands out of his pocket.

"Pregnant?" Was all he asked.

"Yeah, about a month along actually."

"So...the honeymoon?"

"Most likely, or sometime after that." I answered and he went into silence again.

"You...you were on birth control?"

"Yeah, birth control isn't always a one hundred percent prevention, like condoms." I shrugged.

"Pregnant?" He asked again, sounding more sure this time.

"Yeah. We're pregnant." I said, beginning to feel excited.

"I'm sorry."

"For?"

"Saying what I said earlier."

"You were only saying how you felt..."

"Maybe, but right now, I couldn't be happier. I like Alice and Emmett a lot more now that they can do things for themselves, and taking care of newborns wasn't my favorite part of fatherhood, but I love being a father. Really, I love my kids and can't wait to have one with you." He said and I wrapped my hands tightly around his neck, standing on my tiptoes.

"Really? You're happy?"

"No." He said with a straight face.

"Huh?"

"I'm...ecstatic!" He said, leaning into kiss me. We spent the rest of the afternoon in our room, looking through Ali and Emmett's baby books and talking about how to tell the kids about this. When we finally heard our stomachs growling, we decided to just order in from the pizza place down the street. I was thankful Jasper had listened and left, Carlisle didn't need to deal with that now.

"Bells? Are you really pregnant?" Alice asked after the pizza had gotten there.

"Yeah, about a month along." I answered and a huge smile spread across her face. I let out a silent sigh of relief.

"YES! No longer the baby of the family!" She exclaimed and Emmett punched her arm. "OW! Dad!"

"Good lord! You're almost nineteen Emmett, and you jut turned seventeen...please act your age?" Carlisle begged.

"Whatever. Baby shower?" Alice asked.

"Ali, they probably just found out. Give them a chance to breath, would you?" Emmett huffed.

"You okay, Em?" I asked.

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because, you've barely toughed your food and your picking on your sister. What's up?" I asked and his face softened.

"I saw Jake today."

"Yeah? How is he?" Carlisle asked.

"Fine...I mean as fine as he can be. Anyway, they were hoping he'd learn fast enough to you know, graduate with us. But, right now he's only at a sixth grade level. He's going to be in school for another six years before he can leave!"

"Emmett, kid, I know you wanted him to grow fifteen ages by the time graduation rolled around, but you knew this would happen. He couldn't even talk in full sentences a year ago when this happened. Be happy he's at a sixth grade level." Carlisle explained and Emmett's face hardened again.

"You don't even get it! We were supposed to be fighting for top of the class! Now...neither of us have it!"

"What? You aren't the top of your class anymore?" I asked and Alice snickered. "Ali!" I scolded.

"No."

"Why? What happened?"

"My grades dropped when Collin died."

"Not that much." Carlisle said.

"No, but enough so that precious Jared got my spot."

"Em..." I started before he stood up and ran upstairs. I looked over at Alice who took the hint to leave, leaving just Carlisle and I. "Honey?"

"When Esme died, that's all he had left. School."

"Not true."

"Okay, that's all he thought he had. His mom was top of her class and when she died, he had this like need to be valedictorian. To prove himself or something."

"That's common. It sounds like he's second in his class."

"Second isn't good enough for, Em though. I should go talk to him." He said, getting up. I held his hand, holding him back, and pulling him close to me.

"I love you."

"I love you." He said, kissing me softly and then walking upstairs.

* * *

><p>"Ali come on! You're going to make me late to my own graduation!" Emmett yelled, pounding on the bathroom door.<p>

"What? I'm ready! Keep your pants on!" She yelled at him, putting in her earrings. I laughed, the two of them have grown up a lot in the last four years, but they were still brother and sister. I met Carlisle at the bottom of the stairs and he took my hand, leading us to the car. It was luckily a bright, warm day for seattle so the graduation was able to be outside.

We arrived at the stadium not much longer and Emmett jumped out to find Rosalie almost immediately. Carlisle finally found a parking spot and helped me out of the car. The Alice and Jasper fiasco cooled down after Carlisle made Alice get a test stating she was in fact a virgin. Thank god he walked in when he did though, I didn't think he'd keep Jasper alive had he walked in any later. Once we were seated in the stands, the graduation walk began playing.

The graduation was going quickly, but damn, it was hot. Carlisle's hot body pressed against me didn't help much, but hot weather or not, I loved having him against me. Towards the middle of the ceremony, I began feeling really bad cramps. I thought nothing of it really, I had had bad cramps plenty of times, but when I began feeling uncomfortable and wet down there, I became worried. I glanced down and noticed a small red stain on my pale purple dress.

"Carlisle?" I whispered, trying to stay calm. "Honey." I asked, tapping his knee.

"What, sweetie?" He asked, keeping his focus on the graduation.

"I'm...bleeding."

"Where?" He asked, turning towards me. I nodded my head to the bleeding and he looked, his eyes widening when he saw the small stain. "God. Come on, we're taking you to the hospital." He said, standing up.

"But...Emmett..."

"He'll understand." He said, helping me up and my face grew red when I noticed the blood stain on the bleacher. Carlisle thought nothing of it as we began making our way past his parents and siblings.

"Kid, where are you going?" My dad asked.

"Something's wrong with the baby, we have to get to the hospital." He said, continuing to lead me through the crowd. "Please tell Emmett." He whispered as we walking down the steps. The cramps began getting worse and I was soon, unable to walk.

"Carlisle..." I whimpered as I sat on the step. He leaned over and kissed my forehead as he picked me up and carried me the rest of the way to the car. He drove way above the speed limit, and I was afraid of a cop seeing us and pulling us over. Thankfully, traffic was light on a Sunday afternoon and we made it to the hospital. Carlisle carried me inside, and placed me in a wheelchair.

"Carlisle?" Marcus asked as he screamed for help.

"Marcus, I something's wrong with the baby." He panted and let Marcus wheel me to an available room. I changed out of my dress and put on a hospital gown. Carlisle held my hand, his head bowed as we waited for the ultrasound tech to come and check on the baby. I hoped it was only spotting and both Carlisle and I were wrong about this. The tech finally entered the room and turned on the machine.

"Hello." She said, putting on the plastic gloves. "What seems to be the problem?" She asked, pulling the gown up, revealing my stomach.

"I'm having really bad cramps and bleeding...down there." I answer, trying not to panic.

"I'm sure it was just something you ate, and spotting can be common in first pregnancy's." She said, trying to be positive. She squirted some of the jelly onto my belly and looked into the machine. My grip on Carlisle's hand grew tighter as the look on her face dropped. "I'm going to get Dr. Voltora." She said, leaving the room.

"She's getting Marcus? Why?"

"Another pair of eyes, honey." Carlisle said, trying to convince himself as well. Marcus strolled in a while later, trying to look confident. But after ten minutes of looking into the machine, and ten minutes of watching his face fall into complete sadness. He turned the machine off, and the tech helped me clean up before coming back into the room.

"Marcus, please." Carlisle begged, but we both knew the answer already.

"I'm so sorry." Was all he said before I fell into Carlisle's warm embrace, crying until I had no tears to cry anymore.

* * *

><p>We stayed at the hospital for a while, both feeling numb until we couldn't bare sitting there any longer. Carlisle brought me the extra clothes he kept in his car for the gym and I changed into those. We left the hospital, teary eyed and tired. The car ride home was silent as I watched out the window. Everywhere he drove, there was a happy family with a new baby, or a toddler in there hands. I had never been so happy to pull into our driveway.<p>

Carlisle helped me out of the car and held the door open for us. No on was in the kitchen, and I just wanted to go upstairs and crawl into bed. But I knew his parents were there and we'd have to face everyone eventually. Carlisle opened the swinging door and everyone seemed to jump. Emmett was the first one over to us, hugging me tightly.

"Oh, gosh. Emmett, we are so sorry." I began but he cut me off.

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad your okay." He said as he set me down gently on the couch.

"How's the baby?" I heard his mother ask from behind me. Carlisle sat next to me, grabbing my hand. I nodded for him to tell them, I couldn't bare to tell them.

"Didn't make it. Bella miscarried." He said, his voice shaky.

"W-what?" Alice stuttered.

"Yeah, honey." Was all Carlisle could stay. The vibe in the house was off all day which made me feel worse, this was Emmett's day and I had taken that from him. Carlisle's parents took Emmett and Alice to stay with them overnight and I was grateful.

"We can try." Carlisle said as we were getting ready for bed.

"What? This wasn't even supposed to happen. I know you, if I hadn't gotten pregnant, you wouldn't be thinking of having kids."

"I am now though, with you. Yeah, had you not gotten pregnant I would have just wanted Emmett and Ali. But knowing we were going to have a baby together brightened my day." He said and a small smile swept across my face.

"Really?"

"Yeah, knowing you were having our baby...was amazing."

"You really want to try?"

"Yes. I want to have a baby with you Isabella Swan."

"So...we're trying?"

"We're trying to get pregnant." He said and smiled. I walked over and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, setting my head on his chest. "I'm just glad this didn't hurt you." He whispered in my ear. I picked my head up and leaned into a passionate kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too." I said, realizing, really realizing what our vows to each other meant. It meant no matter what shit we went through, we'd be okay if we had each other. Nothing could change the way we felt for each other. I kissed him again, never wanting to let go of him.


	20. You Are the Strength

**Chapter Twenty: You Are the Strength **

* * *

><p><span>Carlisle POV<span>

It had been five months since we lost the baby and we couldn't seem to get pregnant again. Emmett was away at school and even though she saw him on campus a lot, it made her feel worse, him not being there. We literally had sex anytime we had the chance, but it wasn't working.

"So?" I asked as I sat on the bed one night after she had taken a test.

"Nope." She shook her head, trying to be okay.

"Baby, please...please don't cry. We can keep trying."

"You've been saying that for months, Carlisle. Nothing is working."

"It just takes time..."

"We got pregnant when I was on birth control...and now I'm off and we can't? What the hell?"

"Bells..."

"I mean maybe it's me!"

"Oh come on!"

"No! Seriously, Carlisle We both know you don't have any problems having the most beautiful babies!" She yelled.

"Why thank you Bella!" Emmett said as he walked into our bedroom. Bella gave him a look that would scare anyone and he backed off. "Sorry. I can come back."

"It's fine, we were done. I'm going downstairs." She said, pacing out of the room.

"What's up, Em?" I asked, sitting back down.

"What's going on with Bella?"

"Ever since the miscarriage, we've been trying to get pregnant again. We just can't. Something isn't working..."

"Oh, it's really taking a toll on her isn't it?"

"You have no idea. But, this isn't what you came over for. What's up?" I asked and he suddenly became tense again and stood up, pacing.

"Well, you know how Bella isn't having a hard time getting pregnant?" He asked.

"Ummm, yeah?"

"Well..ummm...hummmm..."

"Emmett just say it." I pushed.

"Rosalie doesn't have that problem exactly."

"Have what problem?"

"Ummm...not being able to get pregnant." He answered and I was still kind of confused.

"Emmett, enough with the games. What are you telling me?"

"Rosalie's pregnant, Dad." He said and I felt my heartbeat and blood pressure rise.

"What?" I asked, standing up and trying to stay calm.

"She's about three months pregnant."

"How could you two be so damn stupid? I thought you used condoms!"

"We did, then we stopped." He said and I slapped my hand to my face.

"You quit using protection?"

"Condoms! We quit using condoms. She went on birth control a while ago."

"Then how the hell she'd end up pregnant?"

"Who's pregnant?" Bella asked from the door and I suddenly wished she hadn't heard anything. I didn't want her to get worked up because some teenage girl could get pregnant without even trying and she couldn't. I glarred at Emmett and he walked towards her.

"Rosalie is, Bells. Rosalie is pregnant." She said, not looking at her. Her eyes bugged out of her head and her face grew red.

"How could you let this happen, Em?" She screamed.

"She switched birth control, the old one gave her cramps, so she switched. And the doctor told her to wait at least a month to use it by itself, no condoms involved...she didn't listen or tell me we needed condoms for a while!" He defended and I fell onto the bed.

"What are you going to do, Emmett? You're nineteen, she's only eighteen." I said and he began looking scarred.

"I don't know. She's too far along to go through with a...well that option...but we don't know if we can keep it." He admitted and I felt a little bit of pride in him, admitting they couldn't do it, yet.

"I say, think strongly about adoption. It's the best for the three of you."

"Three of us?"

"You, Rosalie and the baby. Your baby, Emmett." I said and he began looking even more scarred.

"Dad, I'm so sorry." He said, his eyes filling with tears.

"I know, I know this was one hundred percent accident." I said as the two of them sat on the bed, Emmett in the middle.

"And, we're not happy about this at all, but we're here for you Emmett. We'll always be here." Bella said.

"Yeah. Do Mr. and Mrs. Hale know?" I asked.

"No, she's too scarred to tell them."

"Well, she needs to."

"WE KNOW!" He yelled. "Sorry. We know, we just don't know how."

"Well, what if we're there with you?" Bella suggested.

"What?"

"We'd be at dinner with you, protect you two."

"Really?"

"Again, we aren't happy about this, but you're our son, Emmett." She said and I smiled, it was the first time she said 'our son' it sounded right. Emmett noticed it too and couldn't contain his smile. "We're a family, through and through." Bella said, placing her hand on Emmett's knee. I smiled and laughed.

"Yeah, family." I said, slapping my hand on her's. Emmett rolled his eyes and slapped my hand.

"Family." He laughed as Ali ran into the room, jumping on the bed and grabbing my neck from behind.

"Such a family." She joked.

* * *

><p>The dinner between our two families was the following week, giving both Rosalie and Emmett time to adjust to the thoughts. The Hale family opened us with open arms as usual and I couldn't help feel this might be the last time. We had already had our pre-dinner talk and were sitting around the table, laughing and enjoying ourselves.<p>

"So, Bella, Rosalie here tell's us your trying for a baby?" Mrs. Hale asked as the dinner plates were cleared.

"Ah, yes we are." She said, feeling saddened.

"Before, we start anymore conversations, Rosalie and Emmett have something they need to share." I said and Emmett glared at me.

"Rosa? Honey?" and I could tell her breathing was getting heavy and she was becoming more scarred. "Rosalie? You're scarring us."

"I'm p...I'm...I'm...pregnant." She whispered the 'pregnant' part so nobody but I could here.

"What sweetie?" Her mother asked.

"Pregnant." She cried as tears fell down her face. Her mother looked like she was about to burst into tears and her father was about to explode.

"PREGNANT!" He screamed, making all of us jump. "HOW COULD YOU BE PREGNANT? YOU'RE ONLY NINETEEN YEARS OLD!"

"I know, we didn't mean to, sir." Emmett said.

"AND YOU! GETTING MY GIRL KNOCKED UP! YOU PROBABLY ALREADY HAVE THREE OTHER KIDS WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S DAUGHTER'S YOUVE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF!" He yelled at Emmett and I had had enough. I was disappointed and angry at both, but this wasn't the way to treat them.

"Daddy, no." She begged.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WOULD TURN OUT LIKE A SLUT!" He yelled and that did it.

"Don't you DARE!" I yelled at him.

"Carlisle, honey, don't." Bella whispered, but I pushed her away and stood up.

"How dare you talk to my son that way! He is none of your concern! But your daughter is...how DARE you talk to her that way! They were irresponsible, and careless, yes, but they don't deserve that!" I yelled, my face growing hot.

"DON'T TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MT DAUGHTER!" He yelled and I heard everyone get up from the table, moving against the wall. YOUR KID CAN'T EVEN KEEP IT IN HIS PANTS!" He yelled, looking smug.

"You SON OF A BITCH!" I yelled, running towards him. I pushed him into the wall, lacking my hands around his neck.

"Carlisle! Stop it!" Bella yelled.

"Dad, cut it out!" Emmett yelled, but I was angry...furious.

"I'm a doctor. I can kill you and make it look like an accident." I whispered darkly in his ear. "If you EVER say anything like that against my family or your daughter...there will be hell to pay!" I yelled and threw his head against the wall before letting him go. I felt a pair of arms on my shoulders and turned to see Bella, doing her best to calm me down.

"Please, calm down." She whispered kissing my shoulder. I looked at the worthless man in front of me, wanting nothing more than to slug him in the face, but we'd been through enough tonight. I looked over at everyone against the wall. Rosalie's face was dug into Emmett's shoulder and his eyes were closed, Alice had the look of pure fear in her eyes and Mrs. Hale looked dead.

"I want you out." Her father said, and I assumed he was talking to me.

"Gladly." I hissed, pulling Bella with me. I heard Emmett say his goodbyes to Rosalie, but that isn't what her father had in mind.

"No, all of you. Don't come back until that..thing is out." He said, pointing to Rosalie.

"Daddy, no. Please." She choked.

"You have a half hour to get your shit and get out." He said and went downstairs. We all helped her pack the essentials before hopping back into the car. This was the last thing we needed, our son's pregnant girlfriend living with us, but alas, we couldn't take her anywhere else. She had been living at home the while time she was in school, so she didn't even have a dorm or apartment to take her to.

Alice had been nice enough to offer her room to Rosalie, as Bella's old room had been turned into a library after moving into my room. It took a long time to settle everyone down enough to be tired in the slightest, but I was ready to sleep the minute I got into the car.

"How're you doing?" Bella asked as she climbed into bed.

"Fine." I answered, not looking at her. "I'm sorry."

"For what? You defended that poor girl from her horrible father. It was kind of...sexy."

"I know but...sexy?"

"Yeah...I kinda like angry Carlisle...actually turned me on." She said, looking at me. Everything that I had been thinking went out of my mind as my mouth crashed into hers. Moans escaped from both of us as our tongues intertwined.

"Carlisle..." She moaned as I pushed her t-shirt up and over her head, revealing her bare breasts. I smiled as I leaned down and kissed one softly and gently. She pawed at my shirt and I soon gave her the room she needed to remove it from my body. I heard it as the fabric hit the floor and went back to kissing her.

I tugged at the elastic of her pajama pants and she arched her back, causing her ass to lift so I was able to get them off. I smiled at her again and began peppering her stomach with kisses. She was able to get my own pajama pants down and I rolled on top of her, both of us naked, both of us needing this. I positioned myself at her heated core and gently pushed inside. My thrusts never became anything more than gentle and soft. Not to say it wasn't amazing, it was, but it was a different kind. We were focusing on each other instead of the the feeling it gave us. We kissed each other the whole time, looked into each other's eyes, touched each other everywhere. We made love for the first time in a long time.

When we were both ready, I rode us both through our orgasm, collapsing into a pile of 'I love you's' when we were laying side by side. This is what life meant. Being with her, loving her, it was about this. Not worrying about bastard father's, not worrying about how we were going to deal with the next parenting problem. Just this. I kissed her as she fell asleep and fell asleep a happy man, considering everything that had happened.

* * *

><p>I awoke to an empty bed and shot up, confused. I knew we had fallen asleep together so, where was my wife. I got out of bed, putting on a clean pair of boxers and went downstairs. Ali was on her laptop, a bowel of cereal in front of her and Bella was on the phone. Rosalie and Emmett were sitting next to her, looking exhausted and scarred.<p>

"Morning." I said to Emmett and he only nodded. "Who is she talking to?"

"Insurance people. For doctor's and stuff." Emmett answered his voice flat. I went over and kissed her shoulder and sat down next to her, grabbing a bowel for myself.

"Great. Thank you so much." She said and hung up the phone. "All of your doctor's appointments are covered in the health plan you have and there's going to be a fee at the hospital, but there always is. Don't worry, it won't be very big."

"My Dad...he's still paying for my insurance?" She asked as Emmett gripped her harder. I could tell they'd both been crying all night and he didn't want to break down anymore.

"Yeah, he has to. He's the provider for it, weather your a kid or adult. It'd be the same if your mother had done something and he kicked her out...sorry." She was quick to add.

"Rosalie, is there anything you need?" Ali asked. "I'm going to the mall today." She said and I looked at her. "If that's okay with you?"

"Yeah, go. Just make sure you ask next time."

"Okay, will do. So, need anything or do you want to come? I'd love some company." Rosalie looked at Emmett who nodded.

"I don't really feel like going out right now, thanks though."

"Okay...I can still get you things."

"I left a lot of my jeans at my place, same with my nicer tops. I just grabbed a bunch of sweats, seeing as I won't be able to fit in anything but that soon." She said, her voice no longer sad, just dry and flat.

"I know a place. It's not maternity clothes, but they will stretch enough until you need the maternity jeans and stuff."

"Okay, that's great I guess. Thank you." She said and Alice was out of the house and quickly driving to the mall.

"Thank you, so much." She whispered.

"Of course." I said. I was disappointed and angry with them, but I couldn't show it. They both needed someone and Rosalie's parents were out of the question. The rest of the day passed smoothly. Emmett and Rosalie had taken to our advice of sitting on the couch, eating everything, and watching classics. We watched them and I started to see so much of us in them. The way they moved together, the way they looked like they were in love.

The day was finally over and I was happy to be climbing into bed with Bella. I pulled her close to my chest and squeezed.

"I love you. Always. You're everything to me." I whispered into her ear

"I love you too."

"You, the kids. You are my world."

"I know." Was the last thing we said to each other. "I love you. So much." She mumbled as she drifted into a deeper sleep. I gently brushed her lips with mine before falling asleep. This wasn't going to be easy with Rosalie and Emmett, but knowing I had Bella to help me, made it a little easier. I kissed her forehead and fell asleep, only dreaming of Bella.


	21. Calm Surrender

**Chapter Twenty-One: Calm Surrender **

* * *

><p><span>Bella POV<span>

I stood in the bathroom, starring down at the stick that determined mine and Carlisle's future. A smile slowly spread across my face as the next two read the same the first one did. Positive. Carlisle and I were finally pregnant. I walked out of the bathroom and put my acting skills to the test.

"So?" He asked, practically bouncing on the bed.

"I'm sorry Carlisle." I said, shaking my head. His smile and eagerness faded and it took all y strength to not give in.

"Oh...well we can keep..."

"I'm sorry Carlisle, but your going to have to get used to two a.m. feedings, and diaper changes." I said and I got a look of 'what the hell is this woman trying to tell me'

"What?" He asked and I held up the thee positive pregnancy tests. He looked at each one carefully and lifted me and spun me around once he saw the little pink plus sign. "Bella! Oh baby! I am so happy right now! He screeched.

"I know...we're having a baby. Our baby."

"Our baby! Oh my GOD!" He screamed and we heard feet coming towards our room.

"What? What is it?" An alarmed Emmett asked.

"Is everything okay?" Alice asked and Carlisle and I looked at each other and burst into laughter. "Anyone going to tell us what's going on?"

"We're pregnant!" I exclaimed. Alice screamed and ran towards us to give a hug, Emmett lingered with Rosalie, looking distant. "Em? You okay?"

"What? Yeah? What'd you say?" He asked. Him and Rosalie were so distant, unresponsive these days. They were here, but they were never with us, they moved like zombies. Rosalie's pregnancy was going great and she'd start showing soon, which made her feel even worse.

"We pregnant, Em." Carlisle said, trying to hide his frusteration.

"Really? Oh my god! Congrats!" Emmett exclaimed, showing the first bit of emotion since he found out Rosalie was pregnant.

"Em, babe." Rosalie said once things had calmed down a bit.

"Yeah?"

"We have that meeting with the adoption agency." She said, placing her hand on her stomach.

"Right. Let's go." He sighed, going back to his old self. We said our goodbyes and watched out the window as he and Rosalie drove away.

"We've got to get them out of this funk. It isn't good for them." I said as we walked downstairs.

"I know, it's killing me. But, let's focus on us right now. We're having a baby." I whispered as I brought him close.

"I know." He said, placing his hand on my stomach. The rest of the afternoon was spent calling doctors, insurance companies, and watching baby movies. Emmett and Rosalie shuffled in not long before dinner, looking defeated.

"Hey, how'd it go at the adoption agency?" Carlisle asked. Rosalie began to cry again and ran upstairs. "What?"

"It went well. We met with a few couples today." He answered, sitting down.

"Then what's the problem?"

"Adoption. She knows, we both know it's the best thing. But she's going to have a really hard time with it." He explained, digging his head in his hands.

"Emmett, you could do it." I said and Carlisle looked at me, mouthing 'no.'

"What?"

"You and Rosalie are mature and such good kids. You could handle it.

"Are you CRAZY? We were dumb enough to get pregnant at nineteen! How do you think we're going to be able to care for a baby?" He screamed.

"What's going on?" Rosalie asked, coming downstairs in Emmett's baseball sweatpants.

"Bella thinks we can take care of the baby!"

"What? No, we can't. We're nineteen. We have college and other things to think about. Emmett, we need to talk. Now." She said and ran upstairs. I looked at Carlisle who looked stunned.

"Simple." I said, wiping my hands off.

"How did you..."

"Reverse psychology." I said, shrugging my shoulders. He walked over to me, grabbing my hips and pulling me close to him.

"You're amazing. Have I told you that?"

"Ummm, not in the last two days, no." I answered, giggling. The rest of the night was spent peacefully, Emmett and Rosalie in there room and Ali out of the house. The doctor's appointment we had the next day confirmed my pregnancy and we both tried not to get excited, knowing what happened last time. But as my pregnancy reached it's three and a half month mark as Christmas approched, we began getting more excited.

"I think it'd be good to tell your parents over Christmas." Carlisle suggested as we got ready for bed a week before Christmas.

"One step ahead of you." I said, walking to the closet and bringing out my gift idea for them. "Look." I told him, putting a frame collage in his hands with the word Grandparent's in it with designated spots for certain pictures.

"This is beautiful Bell. Are you sure your ready to start telling people?"

"Yeah, the doctor said she's healthy and growing normally."

"She?"

"Just a hunch." I laughed, pecking his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too. And can't wait to spend my first Christmas with you as my wife." He said, gently placing his hand on my stomach. We crawled into bed and soon fell asleep.

* * *

><p>I woke up on Christmas morning feeling sick and quickly bolted to the bathroom, making it just in time to be sick. I flushed the toilet and turned to see Carlisle, looking worried.<p>

"Are you okay?" He asked, I hadn't had much morning sickness and anything out of the ordinary spooked him.

"Fine, just a little morning sickness. You think the kids are up?" I asked, brushing my teeth.

"Emmett better be, your parents flight arrives in like an hour." He said as Emmett knocked on the door.

"I'm leaving now. Rosalie is asleep and is really cranky this morning." He huffed. Rosalie was getting bigger by the day, five months along and expecting a baby boy, who they couldn't keep. It brought them down everyday, every doctor appointment knowing they couldn't keep him, but they were much happier knowing they had a set plan. They chose a couple who was willing to do an open adoption and who lived only an hour away, we were all grateful for this reason. Emmett arrived back with my parents and we began opening gifts, acting like a family.

"This is for both of you." I said, handing the wrapped picture frame. Sue took it and began slowly inwrapping it, her eyes filled with tears when she saw what was inside.

"You're...you're pregnant?" She cried as my dad gripped her hand tightly.

"Yeah, about three months. She...or he is due late May." I answered and Sue jumped up and wrapped her hands around me.

"Oh, honey! I am so happy for you!" She exclaimed, wiping her tears. I smiled and looked down at my dad who was starring at the frame.

"Dad?"

"Pregnant?"

"Yeah, you're going to be a grandpa." I said and a soft smile spread on his face. He stood up and hugged me tight.

"I'm so proud of you baby." He whispered in my ear.

"Why?"

"You have come such a long way." He said and I gripped him tighter. The rest of the night had to be one of the most enjoyable we'd had in a while. Even Rosalie had fun, and she'd been in the worse mood. I was cleaning up downstairs as Carlisle took his shower when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Bella?" I heard Rosalie ask and I turned around, revealing a very scarred looking Rosalie.

"What is it, Rosalie?"

"I think..I think I'm having contractions. I'm only five months he shouldn't be coming yet." She paniced.

"Okay, stay calm. I'm going to get Carlisle, you get Emmett and pack a bag of some sort." I said, racing up the stairs. I knocked on the bathroom but didn't wait for a reply. I pulled back the curtain, only to go week at the knees seeing Carlisle naked, but I had to focus.

"Well hello to you too." He said, pulling at my shirt.

"No, Carlisle. This is important." I said and he let go, turning off the water and grabbing a towel.

"What is it? One of the kids?"

"Rosalie's having contractions, she's only five months along..." I said, beginning to panic.

"It's probably just Braxton Hicks contractions, has her water broken?"

"Not sinde I talked to her, no." I said as he threw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie. We raced downstairs where Rosalie was hunched over the couch, clutching her stomach, whispering to Emmett.

"He can't die. He can't. I can't tell that poor couple who have been waiting forever to have a child that he died. I can't do it, Em." He sobbed.

"Rosalie, it's probably false contractions. It's common in most pregnancies." Carlisle said, helping her off the couch.

"But what if it isn't? What if he's ready to be born...he's only five months. How is he going to survive?"

"We'll cross that bridge when it comes. Ali! Come on!" He called into the kitchen. She came out of the kitchen and didn't even wait to find out was wrong. She grabbed her coat and followed us out to the car. Emmett held Rosalie's hand and tried not to cry as we drove to the hospital. The drive seemed to take hours and once we were at the hospital, only Emmett was allowed in the room with her.

Carlisle paced the length of the hallway as Ali sat next to me, bouncing her legs. After about and hour and a half, her doctor came out of the room, looking defeated.

"Demetri?" Carlisle asked.

"It looked like Braxton Hicks at first..."

"They weren't, were they?" Carlisle asked.

"No. Her water broke just as I was about to release her."

"The baby?"

"At this stage in the pregnancy, nothing is fully developed. He can survive, but only if a miracle is performed. I'm sorry." He said and walked down the hallway. We stood in the hallway long enough for them to come to terms with what had been said.

"It's probably something I did. I mean, I should've eaten better, should have taken better care of myself." She sobbed.

"No, I shouldn't have made you do what we did. What we've been doing. I should have been there more." Emmett cried.

"This isn't any of your faults. It isn't anybody's. Something just set him off. I've seen babies survive this early of a birth. Besides, he's more twelve weeks than sixteen. Things can work out." Carlisle assured them.

"Someone needs to call Lauren and Mike. They need to know." Emmett said after they had cried and it had been determined C-section was the only way to get him out safe. Carlisle excused himself, saying he'd make the call and returned soon saying they'd be here as soon as they could be. Lauren and Mike arrived in an hour, just in time for Rosalie to go into the C-section. Emmett was able to go with her and we all stood in the waiting room, none f us being able to sit still for more than thirty seconds.

The C-section took over an hour from the time they stated until they had the baby boy in the NICU, being treated. Carlisle and I walked into Rosalie and Emmett's room and heard the soft cries.

"Hey, how'd it go?" I whispered.

"He's alive..for now." Emmett sighed.

"They have a wonderful NICU here. I've seen miracles with babies who were much earlier than he was. How much did he weigh?" Carlisle asked.

"They said...three pounds exactly." Rosalie sniffled. "He was so tiny, I only saw him for twenty seconds before they took him away." She cried and they soon asked for Lauren and Mike to come in with them. "I'm so sorry."

"Why? You couldn't control this." Lauren tried to comfort, hiding her own worry.

"But, he's so little." Rosalie cried.

"There wasn't anything you could have done to prevent this. And if he lives to be a happy, healthy little boy, well we'll have you to thank." Mike said and Emmett let out a small smile. Carlisle went to speak to the babies doctor's and said he was being taken care of. He was breathing with machines, and the chance of living were slim, but he was alive for now.

"Have you thought of any names?" Ali asked Mike as we sat in the cafiteria later that evening, letting Rosalie sleep.

"Jackson as the first name, that was his fathers name and died before we could conceive, and Emmett for the middle name." Lauren answered.

"Emmett?" I asked.

"If he survives, him and Rosalie have given us our chance at parenthood. We will forever be grateful to them." She shrugged. We continued to eat, rather pick, at our food until Emmett told us it was okay to go back. Carlisle took me to the NICU to see the tiny baby and I burst into tears at the sight. He was so small, so helpless. I put my hand to my own stomach, praying he or she would be okay. Carlisle knew I wouldn't be able to stand much more of this so he led me out soon.

* * *

><p>It had been two months since Jackson was born and he was getting better day by day. He was slowly gaining weight and was beginning to respond my wrapping his hand around someone's finger. Rosalie barely spent anytime in the NICU, too afraid of what would happen, besides, Lauren and Mike were the one taking him home, not parent's...more like her dad, still wouldn't let her come home and we planned to surprise them with an apartment not far from campus.<p>

I was six months along and every time I would sit in the NICU with Jackson and the other sick babies, I'd pray to God I would never have to be in here. Ali had come with us to see him today, for the first time in weeks and I could feel her getting tense and scarred.

"Ali?" Carlisle asked, placing a hand around her shoulder.

"Huh?"

"Why don't you sing."

"Sing?"

"Yeah, babies tend to respond very well to music. You should try it." He suggested and I could see her deep in thought. I soft smile spread across her face when she figured what song she'd sing and gently placed a finger around his little wrist.

"In the arms of the angel. fly away from here. from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie you're in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort here." She sang and once she was done, everyone in the room began sobbing. After she was finished, Jackson's heart rate picked up and he began moving his arms. Carlisle starred for a minute before rushing out of the room, getting his doctor.

"I don't believe it." He said after checking all his vitals. "His heart's strength has increased a sufficient amount since that last time I checked him."

"When did you check him last?" I asked.

"Forty-five minutes. If this continues, someone is truly working miracles. He will be healthy." He said and went to check on the other babies.

"Ali." I whispered, she turned to me and nodded, knowing exactly what she needed to do. Alice came and sang to Jackson and the other babies in the NICU everyday, twice a day for another month until Jackson was deemed healthy to go home. He'd have a long first year, still not being able to breath on his own and having to constantly go to doctor's appointments, but he was able to go home.

Carlisle finished putting all of his things into the trunk of Lauren and Mike's Honda and we all stood in the parking lot, not knowing what to say.

"Thank you, so much." Lauren said, hugging Rosalie. Rosalie and Emmett tried being as strong as they could, but with all they went through with the baby, it was unbearable for them to say goodbye. "We'll be sending you pictures and video's and updates on him, constantly. We promise." She said and they nodded.

"Take care of yourselves. Don't feel guilty, this is the right thing. Live your life as a nineteen year old." Mike assured them and the rest of the goodbye's were said. We watched as their silver Honda pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road.

"Oh god." Rosalie cried, slamming her head onto Emmett's shoulder.

"It's going to be fine. He's with really good people." He said, trying not to cry. Rosalie couldn't seem to let her cries die down and she spent the rest of the day in her room.

"I can't believe it." Carlisle said as we pulled the cover's down to the bed.

"What?"

"That was truly a miracle. I actually didn't think he'd live. He was so small and undeveloped. I can't believe it."

"I know, it really is a miracle." I said, placing my hand on my growing stomach.

"How are my babies?" He asked, coming over and placing his hand on mine.

"They are great. I think they're fighting, they're kicking more than they usually do." I smiled, looking deeply into his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you two, and our girls." He cooed, leaning down and kissing my stomach. Watching Jackson these last few months, put a new prospective on our lives. We had to stay together, we had each other. We'd be okay in the end. Everything happened for a reason. Everything that happened to Carlisle and I before...and during marriage, happened for a reason. His ad was what drew me to him, and had he not had that, we wouldn't be here right now. In love and ready to face the world.


	22. You're All I've Ever Wanted

**Chapter Twenty-Two- You're All I've Ever Wanted**

* * *

><p><span>Carlisle POV<span>

Finding out Bella was finally pregnant was amazing, but finding out we were having twins was unbelievable. Baby girls set to arrive in two short months. Bella was still skeptical, saying until she heard their cries, she didn't want to get overly excited. Resulting in only buying the cribs and absolute needs until Alice could go shopping. However, I knew the babies were healthy and the worst could happen she go into labor too early, but healthy early.

"Carlisle? What are you doing?" Bella screamed as I covered her eyes as she came out of our bedroom once she was home from work.

"Trust me babe." I whispered and led her down the hallway to the nursery. I opened the door and led her into the middle of the room. "Okay, here it is." I whispered, removing my hands from her eyes. She gasped and walked towards the one changing table. Alice had done a beautiful job. The walls were painted a light, lime green, the cribs and the rest of the furnature was painted white. There were white picture frames all over the walls, waiting to be filled, their names were hanging above each crib. Bella began crying and I got a gut feeling this wasn't a good idea.

"I thought we wouldn't do this until they were born?" She cried.

"I wanted to surprise you. You wanting to not redo the room until they were born was putting negative thoughts into your head. These are our baby girls." I said, resting my hand on her stomach. This is Mackenzie and Brooklyn. They are perfectly healthy, who are going to be beautiful when they are finally here." I said and she leaned her head to mine.

"I know, but I'm so scarred."

"Babe, the doctors told you last week, if they were to come early which is possible, they'd be healthy. They'd need a bit of a push getting started but they'd be fine." I whispered and she gasped, pulling away and placing a hand on her stomach. "What is it?"

"You sure they'd be healthy?"

"Yes, I know they would be."

"Good, because...they're coming. Now." She said, panic in her voice but a smile no one could miss. A smile grew wide on my face and I kissed her passionately. "Carlisle?" She asked as we stood there after the shock had worn off.

"Yeah, babe?"

"My water just broke...we need to..." She said before squeezing my hand tightly.

"Breath, Bell. Breath." I said as I led her out of the room. "Ali!" I screamed.

"What?"

"Get Bella's bag, the twins are coming!" I shouted as I helped her down the stairs. Bella's contraction's weren't supper close together, but they weren't too far apart. We arrived at the hospital in no time and had her in a gown and connected to the machines within a half hour of her first contraction. But after the second check up, Dr. Clearwater did not look too happy.

"What's up, Dr?" I asked.

"One of them is breeched, making it impossible for the other one to get out as well." She answered, throwing her gloves in the trash.

"So, what does that mean?" Bella asked as she gripped my hand tighter.

"It mean's, we're going to have to do a C-section instead of natural."

"A C-section?"

"Yeah, it's the only way to insure safety to both babies and mommy." She said and I understood. She told us we had ten minutes before she'd be taken into surgery. I wasn't thrilled about the thought, but it was the only way to have everyone healthy and happy. I put on the scrubs they handed me and took Bella's hand as they wheeled her down into the surgery room.

"Okay, Bella, we're going to give you some anesthesia so you won't be in any pain." Dr. Clearwater told us and Bella tightened her grip even more on me. Once the doctor's gave the okay, the C-section began. Bella kept her eyes glued shut as they performed the surgery on her, but they flew open once she heard the sweet cries of our first daughter. I bit my knuckle, forcing myself not to cry.

"We have a girl." The nurse stated, taking her out of the doctor's hands, cleaning her up. We heard our second daughter's cries soon after and Bella began crying.

"We have our daughters. We have Brooklyn and Mackenzie." She cried and I kissed her forehead. They sewed her up and wheeled her back to her room where our beautiful babies were already waiting for us. Bella squealed as they took one out of the bassinet and handed her to Bella.

"Who is this one going to be?" I asked, pointing to the small baby in Bella's hand.

"She looks like she's going to be a shopper...mini Ali." She laughed. "I think this is Brooklyn Mae." She said and kissed her head.

"Hello Brooklyn Mae." I cooed, rubbing the top of her head gently. "So, I guess this is Mackenzie Grace." I said, kissing the beautiful baby girl in my arms. We spent another half an hour just the four of us before Alice was begging to let her come in.

"Oh my god." She whispered, walking over to us. "They're too cute!" She said as Emmett walked in. "Which is which?" She asked, moving close to Bella.

"Well, this is Brooklyn Mae." I said, pointing to the baby that was now in my arms. "And, that is Mackenzie Grace." I said, pointing to the baby in Bella's arms.

"They're precious. I want one." Ali said, turning to me.

"Nope. You can share with us." I said, half joking, half serious. She stuck her tongue out at me and we laughed.

"How are you doing, Bell?" Emmett asked.

"Fine." She said, wincing as she shifted Mackenzie in her arms.

"The anesthesia wearing off?" I asked.

"A bit. I'm fine though. Really." She assured me and I leaned in to kiss her lightly on the lips.

"Well?" Alice demanded.

"Well what?" Bella asked, knowing exactly what Ali wanted.

"Can I hold one?" She begged. Bella held out Mackenzie away from her body a bit, signaling for Alice to come and pick her up. The girls were tiny, being two months old, but after several tests, they were deemed healthy as horses. Ali squealed once Mackenzie was in her arms, and Emmett had to hold her down.

"Em?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"You wanna hold her?" I asked and he tried not to be too excited as he took Brooklyn from my arms, but I knew him too well. He melted once the baby was in his arms and I knew Brooklyn was going to be 'Emmett's little princess' the twin he'd always have a special bond with, and Mackenzie's would be Ali's. I sat down next to Bella and put my arm around her, bringing her close.

"They're good with them." She observed.

"Yeah, they are." I said.

"Get the camera, this will be a good one to put in the nursery." She said and I stood up. It was precious. Emmett and Ali were turned towards each other, looking down at the baby they held in their arms, glowing at the two. I took a few shots before either of them instructing me to stop. I laughed before sitting next to Bella again. A nurse soon came in and told us it was time to try and feed them. Having twins was going to be hard enough on us, especially on Bella, so we decided feeding them from a bottle would be best, so their feeding time would be quicker and I could help at night.

The twins took to the bottles well and were asleep almost immediately afterward. Bella was in a lot of pain, so I went to the nursery by myself.

"Which one is yours?" A man asked as he walked up to the window. I smiled, another proud new dad.

"Those two. The two in the middle." I said, pointing to my precious daughters.

"I can tell." He laughed. "I'm Jared."

"Carlisle. Which is yours?"

"That little guy, right there." He said, pointing to a baby boy in the front. "Hard to believe he's a month early."

"Yeah, my girls are about a month and a half to two months early." I starred at my daughters, laughing at the thought of me telling her I didn't want anymore babies. I loved my twin girls immediately and couldn't wait to bring them home. "How is your wife?"

"Not...not doing too well." He said sadly. "She's weak. The pregnancy has been taking a toll on her this whole time."

"I'm so sorry." I said. Jared and I talked for a bit longer before returning to Bella. She was asleep when I got back an I smiled. She looked so peaceful, I went over and brushed the hair out of her face before kissing her forehead. I sat in the chair beside her, took her hand in mine and must have fallen asleep because next thing I heard were the twins cries.

* * *

><p>They kept Bella in the twins in the hospital for a week because of the C-section, but when they were finally deemed healthy to go home, I couldn't have been happier. I parked the car in the garage and hopped around to help Bella out. Her stomach was still hurting from the surgery and I told her to go in and Emmett and I would take care of the girls.<p>

Emmett and I carried the girls inside and gently placed them in their bassinets in our bedroom. I sat there for a while before grabbing the monitor and quietly shutting the door. I found Bella on the couch, a cup of hot chocolate, and a classic movie on.

"Care to join me?" She asked, moving her feet.

"I'd love to." I said, sitting down and placing her feet on my lap. Watching the movie didn't last long thought, the girls began crying only twenty minutes later, begging for our attention. I went upstairs to grab the girls as Bella prepped their bottles. She came upstairs and handed me one, taking Brooklyn out of my arms and sitting down in the rocking chair with them. I watched Bella with her and smiled. She was so good at being a first time mother, the way she looked at Brooklyn, made my heart melt. Mackenzie fidgeted in my arms and I glanced down, smiling at the sight. How could I not wanted this a year ago?

Our first day home went pretty much the same. Feed, change, rock to sleep, begin watching movie again. We were exhausted by the time we crawled into the covers, at only nine-thirty that night. We were woken up every two and a half hours that night and I realized that was the reason I didn't want anymore babies. But my negative thoughts were put aside when I held my precious Mackenzie, or my darling Brooklyn in my arms.

Alice was a much bigger help than I thought she'd be through all this. With what she went through with Esme dying, I'd never imagine she'd be so okay with the girls. She made Bella the bottles when she could, helped her change diapers, and sang to them when we just couldn't get them to be quiet. I loved watching Alice with the girls, they were only a week old and they already loved her, and they already had her wrapped around their fingers. Emmett had also been a big help, coming over and helping Ali clean or cook dinner when he didn't have too much work. Rosalie, however, wasn't adjusting well to the girls, hurting too much over baby Jackson who was still not out of death's reach quite yet. But, alas, we were a family. A big, happy family.

* * *

><p>I woke early the next morning, turning off the baby monitor and slipping into the nursery. Mackenzie was the fussier when, she didn't like being held as much as Brooklyn did, so I picked her up and sat down in the rocking chair.<p>

"I've got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside I've got the month of May. I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way? My girl." I whispered as her eyes opened, and her little hand wrapped around my finger. I kissed the top of her head and heard someone clearing their throat. I looked up at Bella, beaming at us as she walked into the nursery, picking Mackenzie up.

"What are you doing? I was going to let you get a little extra sleep." I whispered, continuing to softly rock.

"I'm kind of used to it. Besides, I had to use the bathroom and when I felt your side, you weren't there. You were either here or kidnapped, and I thought this was the more logical thing." She laughed, sitting down in the rocking chair next to mine. "But thank you for the gesture." She said, leaning into me, brushing her lips past mine. We spent another twenty minutes in the nursery before the girls began crying to be fed. We walked down to the kitchen where Ali had already had the formula mixed, all we needed to do was heat it.

"Can I feed her?" Ali asked, coming down dressed for school.

"No, sweetie. You've got school soon." I said, but she gave me those eyes that would always make me say yes. I sighed and stood up, handing her Brooklyn. She sat down and grabbed the bottle and put it up to Brooklyn's mouth, she gladly accepted. Letting Ali feed her was a mistake she was late to school and she would end up yelling at me for making her late.

The month following the twins birth, I had taken off to help Bella, but a month passed so quickly and I had to return to work today. Saying goodbye to Mackenzie and Brooklyn had to be the hardest thing I'd ever had to done. The only time I had been away from them was when all of us were sleeping, and even then, sometimes Bella and I fell asleep in the nursery.

"Bye precious." I said, kissing Mackenzie's head. "Goodbye darling." I said, kissing Brooklyn's head.

"Do you have to go to work?" Bella begged.

"Yes, I'll hate every moment of it though. I'd much rather be here with you and these angels." I said, tickling the girls stomach with my finger. Bella and I said our long, almost tearful goodbye's and I hurried out of the house, wanting to rip the bandage off. I arrived at work and was met with a hundred congratulation's and asking how the girls and Bella were doing. But when I got to my office, it felt to big, to lonely. I took a picture of the girls out of my bag and placed it next to Emmett and Ali's baby pictures on my bookshelf behind me, and then put our first family picture out and put it next to one at the wedding. It wasn't anything fancy, just the six of us in the nursery, before putting the girls to bed.

The day went slowly and lonely. I was practically jumping for joy when I opened the kitchen door. I walked up to our room and changed before walking to the nursery. But, the look on Bella's face when I got there worried me, and I immediately rushed to her side.

"Bells, what's wrong?" I asked, looking down at Brooklyn who was looking a bit too pale.

"I don't know, I think Brooklyn's sick. She's really white and she won't take any food." She said, panic in her voice. I took a deep breath before going to my office and retrieving a baby thermometer. I walked back to the room and gently reached in and picked Brooklyn out of her crib, placing her on a changing table.

"Shh, it's okay, Kenz. Your sister is going to be fine." I heard Bella whisper as I took Brooklyn's temperature. When it beeped, I looked at it closely. "So?"

"She has a slight fever. Very small. Ninety-nine exactly." I said and she let out a deep sigh. "I can get her a very small dose of an antibiotic, but I don't think this is anything to get super worked up about. She should be fine in a day, really. Ali went through this every other day when she was about the twins age."

"Really?"

"Yeah, do you want me to get her a prescription?" I asked and she thought long and hard.

"If it doesn't go away by Thursday, yes." She said, sternly.

"Whatever you want, babe." I said, kissing her softly. This was life. Being with my family. Ali, Emmett, Brooklyn, Mackenzie, and Bella. Without them, I'd be nothing. I didn't think after loosing Esme, I'd ever to really be apart of life again. But, looking down at my darling Brooklyn, I knew things were better than ever. I missed Esme everyday, and was always thinking of her, but as long as I had Bella, everyday would be a good day. She's all I've ever wanted, and more.


	23. I Need You Now Tonight

**Chapter Twenty-Three: I Need You Now Tonight**

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><p><span>Carlisle POV<span>

It had been two years since Brooklyn and Mackenzie were born and three years since our marriage. Our oldest were out of the house, leaving just Bella, the girls and I to live there. Raising the girls with Bella seemed so simple. They weren't very fussy as babies and were two of the smartest two year old's I'd ever met.

"Daddy!" Brooklyn screeched when I got home from work that day.

"Brooky!" I shouted as she ran into my arms. I picked her up and she pressed her face to mine. "Where are your sister and Mommy?"

"Mackenzie made an oopsie in her big girl underwear." She laughed. "Mommy was not very happy!" she laughed again. I carried her upstairs to the bathroom where Bella was giving Mackenzie a bath.

"Daddy!" She screached, throwing her hands up, splashing Bella. Bella looked really upset and I had an idea it wasn't just because Mackenzie had pooped her pants. "Out!" Mackenzie whined, but Bella had her pinned. I left and put Brooklyn in the playroom and went down to start dinner. Bella came down with both girls and set them in their high chairs and slumped in her seat.

"Bad day?" I asked as I cut the girls chicken into bite sized pieces. Bella took one of the plates and did the same, trying to avoid conversation. "Babe? Come on, talk to me."

"One of my students saw Emmett and I in my office yesterday and complained about it!" She yelled and the girls grew quiet.

"What?"

"He and Rosalie had a fight and he was really freaking upset and he came to see me. A student walked in as I hugged him goodbye and took it completely wrong."

"Don't they know your his step-mom?" I asked, my anger rising. Mackenzie and Brooklyn went back to eating, talking to each other about their barbie dolls. I smiled at the conversation they were having.

"Well the student didn't."

"Is anything going to happen?"

"Probably. Emmett isn't my blood son so it is well possible something could have happened." She huffed, pushing her food away.

"Are they sick? Why in the world would you do that?"

"Don't know. But...fuck!" She screamed and quickly covered her mouth, we had both agreed to stop swearing around the girls. We had both slipped up and the girls knew not to say those words, so we made a swear jar. A quarter a swear.

"Mommy swored!" Brooklyn yelled, pointing at Bella who was laughing.

"She has to pay the sweared jary!" Mackenzie pointed out. Bella laughed and kissed her small hand as she stood up and put a quarter in the old jelly jar we had set out. She sat back down and began to pick at her food again. Bella didn't talk much for the rest of the night and begged me to put the girls to bed. The college came to their senses the following days and nothing happened. The rest of November passed by peacefully with my three of four favorite girls. December arrived and the first day Brooklyn and Mackenzie were begging us to put the tree up.

Bella and I gave in and the first weekend we went out, picked out a tree(Fake tree in our woods) and put it up and left the decorating to the twins. Bella and I watched them with such love. I loved my two little two years more than anything. Alice came home the following weekend and I was so please, everyone but Emmett was with us, making me almost the happiest guy in the world. Rosalie and Emmett got done with school a week later and everyone was home. Our family was home.

It was a week before Christmas and Mackenzie and Brooklyn wouldn't let us forget it. Every night, they'd ask if Santa was coming yet, and every night, Bella and I had to disappoint them and tell them no. But the happiness, didn't lat long when we got a call from a very frantic Sue telling Bella Charlie was hurt. Bella jumped out of bed, pulled her sweatpants on and ran out of the house. I told Emmett and Ali to look after the girls.

"How could this happen? He's always been so careful!" She cried as we neared Forks.

"Things happen, Bells."

"I don't need to hear that now, Carlisle." She scolded.

"What do you need to hear?"

"You should know that." She huffed and kept quiet until we reached the hospital. She ran to his side once she was allowed into the room.

"How'd this happen?" I asked Jasper as Sue and Bella sat by Charlie.

"There was a shooting at the High School. He tried to save a kid and got shot." He said.

"Anyone killed?"

"Two students and a teacher." He said sadly. "He was one of my favorites." He said and I put an arm around his shoulder. Charlie wasn't hurt horribly and he woke up the following day. Bella burst into tears when he was finally awake. Bella was finally able to be pulled away from her father and head to a hotel room. Something was off about her, but I assumed it was about her dad.

"Bella? Honey, talk to me. Something's wrong." I said and her stare was mean at first, but soon grew soft and scarred.

"I'm pregnant, Carlisle." She cried and my heart stopped. When we married I didn't even want the girls, and we only tried after she miscarried because I saw how much I did want another child. I loved the twins, but I didn't want anymore. "Carlisle?"

"Pregnant? What? How?"

"Same thing happened that happened with the first pregnancy."

"You need better birth control then." I said, and she laughed. "What?"

"I know I do."

"You aren't happy, are you?" I asked after a long pause.

"I love Mackenzie and Brooklyn to death, but they're enough. I don't know if I can handle another one." She cried into my chest. I rubbed her back, at loss of what to say. Neither of were ready for another child, but we know we already loved him or her.

"Hey, we'll figure this out. Together like always." I said after a while.

"Really? You aren't mad?"

"Mad at what? The doctor who prescribed those birth control pills, yes. You? No way." I laughed as I bent down to kiss her. The kiss grew with passion and soon, he legs were wrapped around my waist and I was carrying her to the bed. I gently laid her down and began kissing her neck as she played with the buttons on my shirt.

"Mmmmm. Carlisle." She moaned as I took her shirt off and began kissing her breasts through her bra. She managed to get my shirt unbuttoned and onto the floor before I removed her bra completely, exposing her beautiful body.

"God, I love you." I moaned as she pulled my pants and boxers down, revealing my erection. I removed the last bit of clothing she had on and slowly entered her. I began thrusting into her, gentle and soft, filled with nothing but love. I began going fast and she shook her head.

"No...I wanna take our time." She moaned and I slowed down and kissed her passionately. We made love tenderly and gently that night. And when we were finally ready, I guided both of us through our orgasms. I watched her fall asleep in my arms. I still couldn't believe she was mine, even after three years of marriage.

"I love you, my Bella." I whispered, kissing the top of her head and falling asleep.

* * *

><p>It was getting closer to Christmas Eve and although I wanted to stay with Charlie, I was ready to go home. I missed my girls and Emmett.<p>

"Babe, you can go home. I'm not making you stay." She told me the night before Christmas Eve.

"Honey, I'm not leaving without you. But I really miss the girls and Emmett. Your Dad is fine. He's in good hands. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve." I practically begged.

"Bella, darling, go home. I'm fine. Be with the twins, and Ali and Em. They need you too. Mackenzie and Brooklyn aren't going to be very happy if you aren't there tomorrow night to be with them." Charlie piped in.

"Can we leave late tonight?" She finally asked.

"Sure, whatever you want." I answered and brought her close to me. We went back to the hotel to pack up our things before going back to the hospital. We said our goodbyes and it was well passed midnight before we were finally on the road. It was a clear night when we left, but as the drive continued, the snow started coming down even harder.

"Shit. It's starting to cover the roads." I mumbled when we were halfway back to the city.

"Maybe, we should pull over?" Bella suggested.

"No, I don't want to get stuck in the middle of no where." We literally we in the middle of no where. There weren't many cars out and very few traffic lights. I drove slower and was grateful when we saw the highway exit.

"Honey?" Bella asked.

"Yeah?" I asked, keeping my attention on the near deserted highway.

"I have to tell you something."

"What? It's not my baby?" I joked, looking at her.

"Damn. You caught me." She laughed as I turned my attention back on the road. "Emmett wants to propose to Rosalie..."

"What? He never said anything to me about it."

"That's because he talked to me about it." She whispered.

"And you said that they were too young and should wait right?"

"No."

"What the hell, Bells?" I almost screamed.

"I'm sorry. But I think they can handle marriage, I mean look at what they went though together. They are well matured for their age."

"Mature? Mature people don't get pregnant when they aren't ready, or still in college!" I screamed.

"Yeah, well they grew up pretty quick, don't you think?"

"I can't believe you didn't talk to me about this!"

"I am talking to you about it, Carlisle."

"I mean earlier. Bella how could you just give Emmett..." But I didn't get a chance to finish my thought. I felt a huge force jolting the car off to the side. I heard Bella's screams for dear life as I gripped the steering wheel, trying to keep control. I heard crunching of metal, and breaking glass, but I couldn't hear Bella anymore. I wanted to reach out and help her, but I could feel myself slipping and soon, I saw black.


	24. Hardest Story

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Hardest Story**

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><p><span>Carlisle POV<span>

Every inch of my body hurt as I gained consciousness back. I had forgotten what had happened until I opened my eyes and saw smoke rising from the engine. I began coughing, trying to breath but when I looked over and Bella was hunched over the dashboard, bleeding terribly, my heart stopped.

"Bella? Bella, sweetie?" I asked, trying to get my arm to move to shake her. "Honey, wake up. Come on. Bella, get up." I begged, the realization began dawning on me, but I couldn't give up. "Bella." I said, my eyes filling with tears. "Bella, please. Wake up." I begged again as I hear sirens in the distance.

I continued shaking her until an EMT forced me out of the car and onto a gurney. I needed to get to Bella. I saw the Mercedes being cut open by the jaws of life, I needed to get over to her. I tried to move to her, to be by her side, but the EMT's held me back.

"Sir, you have to stay here."

"NO! I need to be with her! She's pregnant! I...I need her." I cried.

"I'm sorry, sir, but you have to stay here and let them do their jobs." He said and continued holding me back. When they finally able to get her loose, I saw her body being pulled out of the car and laid onto a gurney. I was able to get out of their grasp and run over to her and grabbed her hand. She was a mess. Blood was everywhere, her jacket torn, her hair a mess.

"Bella...Bella..." I called before they held me back to put in her in the ambulance. I was forced into one as well and taken to the hospital. I was taken into trauma and examined. Nothing major, a concussion, two broken ribs, some cuts and bruises. But I didn't care about me right now. All I cared about was Bella and the baby. Our baby.

"Sir? Do you have any family we need to contact?" A doctor asked me once I was finished being check over.

"I can do it." I said and reached over to the table beside my bed to grab my phone.

"Dad? Where are you? I thought you were going to be home around two." Ali said into the phone once she picked up.

"Ali, get your brother." I said and I heard me put on speaker. "Em?"

"Yeah, Dad?"

"Okay. I don't want you two to panic, but something happened."

"Daddy, your scarring me." Ali said.

"Bella and I were in an accident. The roads were snowy and dark, someone rammed into us on the high way."

"What?" Emmett asked, panic in his voice.

"Are you two okay?" Alice asked.

"I am, I haven't been able to see Bella since they took us to the hospital." I said and she began crying. "When I saw her last, she was knocked out."

"She'll be okay, right? I mean, Jacob was okay." Emmett said and I could tell he was having a horrible flashback.

"I don't know, son. I just need you and your sister to take the twins to grandma's house and come to the hospital." I ordered.

"Okay, which one?" He asked and I gave him the name of the hospital and the name of the town we were in. The kids were quick to arrive and tension filled the room as we waited to hear about Bella's condition. A familiar looking doctor came in an hour later, looking way too distressed.

"Mr. Cullen?" He asked.

"Yeah? How's my wife?" I asked, my breathing heavy.

"Alive...for now." He added after a long pause. "Her whole right side is smashed in."

"Okay?"

"Almost all of her ribs are broken on the right side, there are multiple damages to her leg and arm..."

"Her brain? Please tell me her brain wasn't affected." I begged and I heard Alice let out a soft cry.

"We're still running tests, sir. We'll let you know ASAP." He answered and began walking away.

"She's pregnant." I blurted out. He turned around slowly and shook his head, his face sad. I felt a little piece of me die inside. We lost our baby and I might loose Bella.

"What's going to happen? If...you know...the worse doesn't come." Emmett asked as we waited for new information on Bella.

"Multiple surgeries, god only knows how long she'll be on bed rest. If she'll even walk again." I said, forcing myself not to cry.

"And what if the worse does happen, Dad?" Alice asked, almost sounding angry. "What happens then?"

"Ali, don't." Emmett whispered, trying to take her hand.

"NO! He promised me! He promised me Bella would never go anywhere! That's she'd always be with me! That I wouldn't have to worry about loosing her like I lost Mom!" She sobbed and ran out of the room. I tried getting up to follow her, but my ribs wouldn't allow for such movement.

"I got her." Emmett said and raced after his sister. I stayed in my room continuing to stare up at the plain ceiling for almost twenty minutes before Bella's doctor came in.

"Please." I begged.

"There is some brain damage, nothing permanent though." He said, and I sighed. Thank god.

"Is she awake?"

"No, and she won't be for a while. She's in a coma, Mr. Cullen. There is no telling if she'll come out of it. I'm so sorry." He said and walked away. I heard the door open and close and all I wanted was alone time.

"Go away." I huffed.

"Is that the way to speak to your mother?" She asked and I turned to see my blessed mother walking into the room. "How is she?" She asked sitting down.

"Alive for now they say." I answered, and I could feel my eyes growing wet with tears. "This is my fault, Mom. If I wasn't so angry with her when we were driving in bad conditions...this wouldn't have happened."

"Honey, it was a drunk driver...on top of icy, dark roads. It wasn't your fault."

"But maybe if I hadn't been yelling at her...I would have seen the car."

"Carlisle, you know that isn't true." She answered and I began crying harder.

"The last thing I did was yell at her. I didn't say 'I love you' or anything like that. I YELLED AT HER!" I screamed, becoming extremely angry at myself. "I might not see my wife again and I yelled at her right before the crash!"

"Honey, calm down. Please." My mother begged. We didn't speak for a long time and I fell asleep due to the pain med's they'd given me, but the pictures of Bella hunched over, bloody and not breathing jerked me awake.

"Bella. Bella!" I whispered in my sleep before shooting upright and silently cursing my actions. I looked over at my mother who looked like she hadn't slept the whole time she was with me. "The girls. Where are the girls?" I asked frantically.

"With your sister. They're safe." She answered.

"Have they come up with anything? About Bella?"

"Not that I'm aware. A doctor came in not too long ago but saw you were sleeping so he let you go." She answered. "How are you doing, Carlisle."

"Fine." I mumbled, not worried about myself at all. "Mom, what if..."

"Don't go there, sweetie. Don't go to the 'what if' of the situation." She said, her voice stern. I nodded and laid back down on my pillows. The door opened a few minutes later and Bella's doctor was standing there, looking somewhat pleased.

"She's awake." He said and I almost jumped out of bed. "The swelling went down enough and she woke up not too long ago."

"So?"

"She's asleep now, all the pain medication we gave her. It won't be easy. Her whole right side is shattered."

"I understand."

"And right now, you cannot care for her all by yourself."

"I know. She's alive?" I asked again.

"Yes, she's alive." He said.

"Then I don't care what happens after this."

"You do know she isn't out of deaths reach quite yet." He asked and my heart sunk. "With all the surgeries, she is bond to get a deadly infection. I've seen it dozens of times. So please, don't get too happy. She isn't out of the dark yet." He answered and began walking away.

"Can I see her?" I asked.

"I don't think that's a good idea." He said and walked away.

* * *

><p>I had been in the hospital for a week and still couldn't see Bella. The doctor's didn't think it was a good idea for me to see her in the condition she was in. The doctors at this hospital gave her the okay to be airlifted to Seattle Hospital, meaning I was able to go home to my girls as well. My ribs were sore but I was able to function and when I walked into the girls rooms and saw them standing there, waiting for me, I was grateful.<p>

"DADDY!" Mackenzie screeched and I immediately began missing Bella. So much of her were in our girls. I went over and hugged her lightly, but she wrapped her hands around my neck so when I stood up straight, she was hanging from my neck.

"Shit! Ow!" I yelled, prying her hands from my neck. Her eyes were full of sadness and she looked like she was on the verge of tears. And she had the right to be, both of them did. Bella and I were in the hospital during Christmas so we couldn't spend it with the girls. "Oh, no, Kenzi, don't cry." I said, cupping her small face in my hands. I kissed her forehead before walking over to Brooklyn's crib. "How's my darling, Brooklyn?" I asked, taking her small hands in mine.

"Mama?" She asked and I felt a tug at my heart. Bella wasn't here and they weren't sure if she'd ever be here again.

"Mama will be back. Soon." I tried to assure them, but they were smart enough to know something was wrong, they just didn't understand how severe it really was. Emmett came over quickly and helped me take the girls out of their cribs and get their breakfast ready. I set it down in front of them uncut and not buttered. Ememtt sighed and began cutting Brooklyn's as I carefully sat down.

"Have you heard anything? Since she got to Seattle?" He asked as he pour syrup over the girls pancakes.

"The same that was back at the other hospital." I sighed.

"Nothing knew?"

"They're examining her. What needs surgery what doesn't. If she'll ever be fully functional again." I said, telling myself not to cry. Not in front of the girls and especially not in front of Emmett. My heart began to pound when the my phone rang and I jumped to answer it.

"Dr. Cullen?" A familiar voice asked.

"Yeah? Oh god, Char. Tell me something. Anything...as long as it's good." I begged.

"Marcus wasn't you down here. ASAP. It's about Bella." She said and I hung up the phone and ran...as best I could...upstairs to change.

"Watch the girls." I told Emmett as I ran out the door.

"But DADDY!" I heard Brooklyn whine behind me, but I couldn't stay. I had to be with Bella. Marcus met me outside of her room and looked decent.

"Marcus...please." I begged.

"Her lower ribs are going to be pinned back into place. Along with her femur, and her shoulder."

"Her shoulder?" I asked, they weren't the best things to have operated on.

"And her knee cap is completely shattered...she's going to need a knee replacement surgery." He said and I fell onto the floor, it was too much. She would never be fully functional again. I knew it.

"Recovery?" I asked.

"She will be able to walk again, if Aro does everything right to the nine." He said and I nodded, I trusted Aro with my life, but Bella's not as much. "But recovery...full recovery could take years."

"Years?" I asked, and I knew the answer. I had preformed hundreds of surgeries on femurs and knees. I knew what needed to happen, but knowing this was my Bella's femur, my Bella's knee made me queasy. "What is she going to do? We have twin two years old at home...oh god."

"What?"

"She was pregnant. Three months along she said. They said she lost it on impact." I cried. "How am I going to tell her that, Marcus?"

"I don't know, Carlisle. But I would think of a way soon because she's awake now."

"Awake?"

"Yes, and fully aware of everything...as much as she can be anyway." He said and I looked through the window in the door and my heart broke. She looked so broken. I couldn't see her right but if her left looked bad, I couldn't imagine what she must really look like.

"Can I PLEASE talk to her?" I begged and he nodded his head. I slowly turned the doorknob and walked in. He head tilted and she met my gaze and smile weekly. I burst into tears at the sight and she lightly took my hand in hers.

"We'll get through this." She whispered weakly.


	25. Somehow, Sundown

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Somehow, Sundown**

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><p><span>Bella POV<span>

All I could remember was something smashing into my side of the car, and then everything going black. I woke up, god only knows after how long, to a strange room full of beeping. I slowly opened my eyes, trying to comprehend everything.

"Carlisle?" I whispered as I began thrashing in my bed. "Carlisle! CARLISLE!" I yelled before a nurse came in to hold me down. I remember something being shoved down my throat, and then blackness fell over me again. The doctor's did the best they could trying to explain what had happened. Carlisle was alive and was going to be fine, but our baby. Our unborn child was not and had been removed from my body when Carlisle consented to it a few days earlier.

I laid there forever and then after I don't know how long, I heard voices outside my room. I instantly recognized Carlisle's voice and my heart beat for him. I wanted to be close to him, tell him I was going to be fine. I heard the doorknob begin to turn and footsteps begin to come towards me. I tilted my head to see Carlisle standing over me, tears streaming down his face. He sat down beside me and took my hand and burst into even harder cries. I squeezed his hand and forced him to look at me.

"We'll get through this." I whispered. I knew somehow, we would. We had gotten through some of the hardest things together. Watching Emmett deal with Collin's death and Jacob's setback, loosing a baby together, watching Rosalie have Jackson at only five months. We'd gotten through that and I knew we could get through this. But the look on his face told me something entirely different.

"Carlisle?"I asked, my voice low.

"Bella. I am so sorry." He cried, burying his head into my bed, my hand still in his.

"For?" I asked.

"For yelling at you. Emmett and Rosalie are too young I think, but I do see how they love each other. And you were telling him what you thought and were giving him your blessing. I shouldn't have yelled at you for that. I am just...so sorry." He cried and my heart broke a little bit.

"Hey," I said, lifting his head to meet mine. "You were upset. Don't apologize."

"But I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"Maybe not. But fighting is apart of life...apart of marriage. If there was no fighting, there would be no make-up sex." I smiled as much as I could. I tried to run my right hand through his hair, but soon realized, my whole right side was strapped to the bed and I winced when I tried to move.

"What? What is is?""

"What the hell is going on, Carlisle?"

"When the other car smashed into us, it smashed the whole side of the car. And, your right side...was shattered." He answered and my eyes filled with tears. "Most of your right side is going to need surgery to be able to function again."

"W...hat?" I choked out. "What about the girls? I'm not going to be able to take care of them!"

"My mom is going to be around. Victoria, your mom. Everyone agreed to help out, babe."

"I don't want help! I want to be able to raise my own kids! I want to be able to pick them up and rock them to sleep when they're sick."

"And you will be able to do that, it just might take some time."

"How much time?" I seethed, becoming angry about the situation for the first time.

"They don't know. Years probably.

"YEARS?" I screamed. "It might take years to finally heal?" I began to cry nonstop. I just couldn't stop. To even think I might not hold my babies again scarred the hell out of me.

"I'm so sorry, honey." He cried again. The doctor came in soon and began telling us everything that would need to be done so I could heal properly.

"Aro, what's going on? What's going to happen?" I asked, my breathing heavy.

"Bella, I know you are awake and alert, but with all the surgeries you are going to need...there might not be a way to fight on infection."

"Aro, don't." Carlisle whispered.

"Don't? Don't what?" I asked and Carlisle just starred.

"Nothing."

"He doesn't want me telling you to prepare for the worse."

"The...worse? Like..." I cried and Carlisle gripped my hand and told Aro to leave. "Worse?"

"Yeah, baby. You're right side isn't functional right now and in order to get it to be useful...surgeries are needed. And...it is hard to fight off infection with one surgery..."

"I could get a deadly infection?" I sobbed and he only nodded, trying to hold back his won fear. We sat together for hours before I remembered the twins. "Girls? Where are they? You need to go to them." I said frantically.

"They're with my mom. They're okay."

"Carlisle, your mom is great, but she's getting old. She can't always be taking care of them for us."

"Victoria, Ali and Emmett are with her." He answered.

"I want to see them." I demanded.

"Bells, they can't see you like this."

"Like what?"

"Broken, unable to move."

"So I won't be able to see them until I can move?" I asked, my angry rising. "I want to see my daughters, Carlisle."

"I'm not bringing them here, but I can set up a video chat with them? My mom should be getting them out of their bath right about now." He answered, checking his watch. I watched him leave and retrieve his laptop from his office and set it up to Skype with my darling daughters.

"Mama?" Brooklyn asked when she saw me on the screen. "Where is you?"

"I'm...somewhere else, Brooky." I answered, wanting to hold her.

"When is you gonna be at home?" Mackenzie asked.

"Soon, baby girl. Soon." I answered and told myself not to cry. I chatted with them until it was time for them to go to bed. I was scheduled for my first of many surgeries. Carlisle held my hand all the way down the hall and reluctantly let go when we reached the operating room. I was put to sleep as soon as I was in the room and didn't wake up until the next day.

The month following the accident went pretty much the same. Doctor's were constantly checking for infections and when everything was clear, I'd go in for another surgery. I began gaining hope that'd I'd be out of the hospital and into recovery in no time, but when checking me for infections after my shoulder surgery, they didn't look happy.

"What? What is it?" Carlisle asked, squeezing my hand. "There isn't an infection, is there?"

"No..." was all they said.

"Then what is it?" I asked. They starred at Carlisle for a long time before taking a deep breath and looking down at me.

"There is a blood clot where the surgery was done. The clot is big, bigger than a normal blood clot and there is a big possibility it has gone to your heart." They explained.

"What does this mean?"

"It means, if we can't get to it on time, or something goes wrong in the surgery," He took a deep breath. "There is an almost one hundred percent chance you won't make it." He said and my eyes began filling with tears.

"What are we going to do?" Carlisle asked, going into doctor mode."

"For one, find out if there is a clot that needs to be taken care of. Then we go from there." He answered. They confirmed there was a decent sized clot and I would need surgery to remove it. Heart surgery was always difficult and I grew nervous.

"What if something goes wrong?" I asked the night before my surgery.

"Let's not worry about that."

"Carlisle...honey, we need to worry about it."

"Okay, let's talk." He said, hurting.

"I want you to raise those girls."

"Of course."

"I don't want you to shut down if the worse does need to promise me you're always going to be there for Brooklyn and Mackenzie, and Em and Ali."

"I promise." he said, a tear streaming down his face. "But you have to promise me something."

"Anything."

"Promise me, you're going to make it through this. That everything is going to be fine." He said, his body shaking with fear.

"Carlisle." I whispered, bringing my hand to his face. We stayed like that all night until four-thirty in the morning when they began prepping me for surgery. We kissed passionately before they wheeled me down the hall. I tried remembering everything good. Carlisle, Alice Emmett, the girls. I had to get better to see them. They were my world.

"It's going to be fine." I whispered to myself before seeing blackness.


	26. I've Been Here Before

**Chapter Twenty-Six- I've Been Here Before**

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><p><span>Carlisle POV<span>

I stood there not able to understand. It wasn't her time yet, she shouldn't be lying in this casket. I felt a tug at my trousers and looked down to see a smiling two year old smiling up at me, begging to be held. I smiled and bent down to pick her up.

"Hi baby." I whispered, kissing her cheek.

"Mama?" She asked, pointing down at the woman in the casket. My heart beat fast, she wouldn't understand for many more years to come.

"Yeah, she's there, sweet girl." I whispered as I saw Emmett on the verge of tears walking over to me.

"I'll take her, Dad." He said, holding out his arms. I slipped her into Emmett's hand and watched as he took her over to the couch, taking a toy out of her bag. I was so focused on the lovely woman laying front of me, I didn't even hear Alice come up to me.

"I can't believe she's gone." She cried into my shoulder.

"I know. Neither can I."

"But...she wasn't that old. It was just a little blood clot they said. Maybe if..." She began. Ali had gone crazy over the last few days trying to contemplate what had happened, why we were standing in the funeral home.

"Ali, baby. Don't try to figure this out. No one will ever know, and it's unfair but it is life." I said and squeezed her tighter. We cried together for what seemed like forever before I felt a pair of small hands on my shoulder.

"Carlisle, honey." She said, her voice soft. Alice had gone over to Emmett by this time and I fell into her arms.

"I can't believe she's gone. She shouldn't be gone. Alice is right. If I had been there sooner, if I had known..." I argue, my mind reeling.

"Carlisle, babe. There isn't anything you could have done. She was old. She'd had a heart condition since she was your age and you know that. There isn't anything you could have done for your mother." Bella said, her eyes wet with tears.

"But..."

"No but's, Carlisle. It was...her time. There wasn't anything you could have done." She said and rubbed my back as I turned my attention back to my mother, laying there looking helpless.

"I just wish there was something I could have done. I feel like there is something I could have done. I'm a doctor for god sake, and her son!"

"Honey, don't. Please. You'll drive yourself nuts."She said and I turned my attention back to Emmett and Payton. I smiled at them, him and Rosalie had gone though so much to get pregnant again and watching him with his long awaited daughter put a smile on my face. I then turned to Alice, holding baby Eli, smiling as he blew spit bubbles in Jasper's face. He picked up his son and put him over his head. My kids had grown up a lot since Esme died. Emmett was a Seattle University graduate with a degree in psychology and very able to support his growing family. Ali had graduated from New York's Fashion Institution and was now working for a very high scale fashion company.

I looked back at my mother, sad she was gone so soon, but happy she'd been able to see them accomplish all over this. She got to see Emmett and Alice's graduation, she was able to go to both of their weddings and met her first great-grandbabies. Brooklyn and Mackenzie came running in, screaming with glee.

"Girls!" Bella scolded, running up to them. "What did we talk about?" She asked, meeting them at their eye level.

"But we found this game..." Mackenzie tried but Bella wasn't having any of it. She was able to make an almost full recover. Her knee would never have full function again, but she was here. She was helping me raise our six year old girls. She wasn't able to be Brooklyn's soccer coach, or Mackenzie's softball coach, we left the physical things to me. She was so good with them. She was stern, but they didn't look like they feared her. They apologized and went back into the funeral home's play room.

"Sorry." She said, standing back up, wincing.

"What's wrong?" I asked, rushing over to her.

"Nothing, it just hurts. Doctor's said it was normal. I'm fine honey. It's been four years since the accident, almost five. I'm fine. We're both fine." She said, rubbing her small baby bump. She hadn't been on birth control while she was on the medication from the accident, and she'd been on them since she had the surgeries and we hadn't been able to have sex in a long time. It was too painful for her and the doctor's didn't want her jumping and being jostled so much. We found sexual release other ways, but once we had gotten the okay, we had sex almost everyday and here we are. Three months away from saying hello to our baby boy.

We hadn't been planning to have any other kids. She had just gotten her career back on track and it was safe to say. I was getting older and didn't want the two a.m feedings, but we were both extremely happy for our baby boy to arrive.

"I just wish Mom could have met him." I said sadly, putting my hand on her stomach,

"I know, me too. But she'll always be watching over him. I know it." She said, wrapping her hands around my waist. "I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too." I said and kissed the top of her head. The rest of the week passed by, but I didn't even realize it. Loosing Esme was hard, but loosing my mom brought on a new type of pain I never thought I'd feel. She was in her early eighties and I knew her and my dad would begin getting weaker, but to actually see her collapse in front of me did something to me. I kept strong for Emmett and Ali, their grandmother had been there for them throughout their whole lives. Watching them say goodbye was almost as hard as watching them say goodbye to their mother.

The funeral was over and we sat in our living room, my arms wrapped tightly around Bella's waist. My father sat in the rocking chair he had made for he and mom when they married. His face was blank and he had no color. He also knew this would happen, my mother had been having heart problems since she was a little bit older than I am now, but it still killed him everyday, knowing she was gone.

"Poppop?" Payton asked as she sat at his feet. He looked down and couldn't hide the smile he had on his face. He loved his grandchildren and his great-grandchildre. He bent over and took her in his lap. "Story?" She asked, handing him rainbow fish.

"Pay, kiddo. Let's leave Poppop alone and we'll read that before bedtime." Emmett said, walking over to pick her off his lap but she clung to his neck.

"It's okay, Em. This girl always know's how to make me smile." My dad told him, opening the book.

A long way out in the deep blue sea there lived a fish. Not just an ordinary fish, but the most beautiful fish in the entire ocean. His scales were every shade of blue and green and purple, with sparkling silver scales among them." He began reading and I caught Bella's eye and gawked my head for her to come outside with me.

"Carlisle?" She asked as she walked out onto the patio with me. "What's up, hun?"

"When I was a little boy..." I started and she giggled. "What?" I asked her, amused.

"Nothing, just picturing you as a little boy. Go on." I rolled my eyes, but had to laugh.

"Anyway, when I was little my grandpa died and my Dad worked a lot, he was around but always at night when it was dark. We didn't do many outdoor activities and I was okay with that because my grandpa was there with me." I explained and she began rubbing my back. "Anyway, he died around this time, fall and every night before I went to bed, she'd bring me outside with a blanket and a mug of hot chocolate to share. We'd sit in a lounge chair and look up at the sky and my mom said, each star in the sky was a sole looking down on earth."

"I like that." She said, looking up at the sky.

"I'd say goodnight to my grandfather before going inside and getting ready for bed. That's how she kept me connected to him for about two years before I decided I knew he was looking after me and I didn't know the stars to know that."

"You're mom really is watching you. I know she is." She told me, resting her head on my shoulder.

"I want to tell that to the girls. I want to do what my mom did with me with Brook and Kenzie." I said and she looked at me skeptically.

"Okay, but if they're up all night, your going to sit with them until they fall asleep." She laughed. I went inside and got the girls from the playroom as Bella got the blankets and hot coco together.

"What's going on?" Alice asked when she came on the back porch a little while later. "What is this?"

"Daddy says Mama is a star watching us from up there!" Brooklyn screeched, pointing up to the sky.

"He says she will always be there all we have to do is look up to the sky...if it's dark." Brooklyn laughed. Alice laughed as she took a sip of Bella's hot chocolate and sat down next to her.

"I like that, who told you that?" She asked as the sliding door opened and Emmett stepped outside, holding an almost sleeping Payton in his arms.

"Your grandmother told me that after my grandpa died." I explained, taking Payton.

"What did Grandma tell you?" He asked, sitting down and putting Brooklyn in his lap.

"Grandma told me when your great-grandapa died that every star in the sky was a sole up in heaven looking down on earth. We did this almost every night for two years." I said, remembering my mother the way she deserved to be remembered. The happy times, not that she wasn't supposed to be gone yet. I felt Payton fidget in my arms and soon heard her heavy breathing. "I think it's time to put this one in her crib and...these girls in their beds." I said, pointing to the twins. We'd been out here for two hours and they were beginning to fall asleep in Emmett and Bella's arms.

"But..." Mackenzie tried before yawning deeply. "I'm not...t...t...ired." She yawned and I smiled as I stood up. Emmett took the girls up to their room as I put Payton in her crib in the guest room. I watched her sleeping for a while before Bella came into the room, asking if I was ready for bed. I reluctantly left and went into our bedroom.

"I'm...I'm so proud of you." I said as we held each other tightly.

"Me? Why?"

"You were so brave these past few days." She said and I kissed the top of her head. Payton began screaming at two AM and I rolled out of bed and went into Emmett and Rosalie's room, picking her out of her crib. I carried her down and outside and out on to the deck and sat down with her.

"Do you believe in magic?" I sang lowly to her, knowing it was always something that made her calm down. "In a young girls heart. How the music can free her, whenever it starts." I sang quietly as her sobs died down and her breathing became even heavier. I felt something warm drape over me and turned around to see Bella smiling at us.

"I can't wait to see you with our own child again. You are such a good Daddy." She whispered as she bent down closer to my ear. I turned my face and kissed her gently on her lips. We pulled apart and she wrapped her hands around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Did you know, where ever you are in the world, the moon...it's never bigger than your thumb." I whispered, putting my thumb into the air. She smiled and followed my lead. "No matter where you are, I'm going to be there too if you look and the moon is there."

"I love you so much." She whispered and kissed me again. We sat out there for a long time before I felt Payton shaking in my arms. I placed her back into her crib but Bella and I were already up. We settled on the couch with a blanket, chocolate, popcorn, and a classic movie. I laid on the couch and she settled on top of me, putting her head on my chest. I could feel her heartbeat on my own and it wasn't long until she had fallen asleep. As Dirty Dancing ended and I've Had the Time of my Life played on the screen. I looked at Bella and knew I really had had the time of my life. She was mine. I was hers. And that's where we'd be for the next fifty years of our lives.

_"I've had the time of my life. No I never felt this way before. Yes I swear it's the truth. And I owe it all to you."_ Played in the back round and kissed Bella's head, she was the one for me. I would always love Esme, she was the mother to my children, my first love, but now that I had Bella, I couldn't imagine my life without her. Even if we hadn't been involved in a relationship, I couldn't imagine the kids not knowing her. She'd been with me through the worst times I'd ever gone through, and some of the bests. I loved her and even with seven years of marriage I couldn't get enough of her.

She was my world.


	27. Authors Note :

**Authors Note :)**

**So that's the end of Dark Roads. Thank you all for the wonderful comments. I began writing this, having no clue where I was going. And here we are 26 wonderful chapters later at the end. Thank you all who stayed with me and read this to the end. I hope the ending didn't disappoint. I couldn't do it to Carlisle again, he'd been through enough. And now that I'm done, I just wanted to say somethings.**

**1) Don't text while driving. Nothing is so important you can't wait ten minutes until you're stopped.**

**2) Always wear your seatbelt, even if it is 'uncool' if for some reason, something should crash into you better be safe than sorry. Your seatbelt it there for a reason. USE IT!**

**3) Don't drink and drive. Each year, approximately 16,000 are killed in alcohol related crashes. Don't do that to yourself or anyone else. Call a cab, walk home, just please. Do not drink and drive. It might me the last choice you ever make.**

**4) If the roads are getting bad and you don't feel safe, pull over. It's safe and you can always call for help if absolutely needed.**

**Anyway, that is my advice. This story, even though I've never had to deal with personally, texting and driving ect, but they are common threats to life and need to be dealt with. You don't want to end up like Collin for not wearing a seatbelt and texting while driving, and you don't want what happened to Bella to happen to another person because you were drinking and driving.**

**Thanks again for reading and sticking through to the end to even read this. I love you all, and goodnight. **

**:)**


	28. OUTTAKEButterfly Kisses

**Outtake: Butterfly Kisses**

* * *

><p><strong>Carlisle POV<strong>

I walked into the house after a long day with Bella and another surgery. I walked upstairs and found Brooklyn in her rocking chair, a book upside down in her lap. I walked over to her and knelt down in front of her, and kissed her hand. She put her book down and her face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"DADDY!" She exclaimed, jumping into my arms. I held her tightly, every moment with her and her sister matter. Every kiss, hug, and touch mattered. Now more than ever.

"Well hello to you too, my darling Brooklyn." I said, kissing her cheek. "Where's your sister?"

"With Ali in her room." She said, her 'r' coming out like a 'w' it was bad, and needed to be changed, but I thought it was precious. I stood up and looked down at Brooklyn, she was holding her arms in the air, waiting to be held. I laughed and bent down to pick her up and walked down the hall to Ali's room.

"Come in!" Mackenzie squealed when I knocked on the door. I opened to door and the scene made my heart melt. Ali was standing up against the headboard, Mackenzie in her lap holding the stuffed Simba Bella and I bought for her when she was born, reading _The Very Hungry Caterpillar._

"How'r my girls?" I asked, sitting down with Brooklyn clinging to my neck.

"Good! Ali gave me and Brooky coco after dinner and then she let us play in the bathtub, and then she let us dress ourselves for bed..."

"I can see that." I laughed, seeing them wearing bright oranges PJ bottoms and Blues Clue's t-shirts and their hair up in the messiest poneytails I'd ever seen.

"Then she let us pick out a story to read...but Brooky didn't want Ali to read so she went away and Ali read me this!" She said, shoving the book in my face.

"Sounds like Ali won't be babysitting you alone anytime soon." I said, glaring at Ali who'd given them sugar so close to their bed time.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist. They begged." She said, standing up and picking up Mackenzie in her arms. I smiled at her as we led them down to their room.

"I got it here, sweetie." I said, nudging Ali away.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, they're my girls." I said, kissing her on the forehead before she left. I put Brooklyn down first, knowing she didn't have as much sugar as Mackenzie did. Once I finally had Mackenzie in her bed, laying still, I knelt down in between both of their beds.

"Daddy?"

"What, Kenzi?" I whispered.

"When is Mommy going to be here? We miss her."

"I know you do, baby. Mommy will be here soon. She told me to kiss you for her." I said, leaning in and kissing the tops of their heads.

"Daddy?" Brooklyn piped in.

"What honey?"

"What's wrong with Mommy? She is always here."

"She is...very hurt."

"Like a boo-boo?" Mackenzie asked.

"Yes, only a very big boo-boo." I answered and she nodded. I could tell they were very close to sleep by their breathing.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Brooklyn?"

"Will you sing to us?" She asked and I smiled. No matter what was going on in life, my girls always could make me smile.

"Yes, of course." I said and cleared my throat. "I've got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside I've got the month of May. I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way? My girls, talkin' 'bout my girls." I sang to them quietly. I saw their eyes were tightly closed and their breathing was soft and steady. I smiled and kissed each of their foreheads before leaving their room.

"They couldn't stop asking about you all day." Ali said when we went down stairs.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, every ten minutes, where's Daddy? I miss Daddy? When is Daddy gonna get here?" She said and I smiled. "They adore you. You...you're a hero in their eyes."

"I'm no hero. I can't even keep my wife out of the hospital." I whispered, my brain going to the painful vision of Bella lying their helplessly.

"Dad, that was not your fault. You know that, he was drunk, it was snowy." She said, brushing her hand against my forearm. "I'm grown up...but you're always going to be my hero." She whispered.

"I love you, sweetheart." I said, pulling her into a tight hug.

"I love you too, Daddy. So much."

I woke up the next morning to the giggles of my girls, already up and playing away. I smiled, and felt guilty, knowing I had to go to the hospital and be with Bella soon.

"Hey, you." She answered once I was dressed and ready to go.

"Hi, beautiful. You think I could bring the girls with me? They miss you, and I hate being away from them for so long."

"Carlisle..."

"Only for like an hour or so. Please? I know you want to see them."

"I do miss them. Yes, but bring Ali so she can take them home." She answered. I almost screamed with excitement when she answered. We said out quick goodbye's and went down to tell them the good news.

"Mackenzie, Brook, come her for a minute." I said, breaking them away from the TV. They ran over to me, and both hopped up onto my lap. We're going to see Mommy together."

"REALLY?" Brooklyn shouted.

"Yes, but you two have to make me a few promises. One, you have to be quiet. Two, you can't be jumping all over Mommy. Three, be on your best best BEST behavior. And when Mommy and I say its time for you two to go home, you have to listen. No winning or complaining. Got it?"

"Yes, Daddy." Mackenzie squealed wrapping her hands around my neck. We finished breakfast and headed to the hospital. My girls were the most well behaved two years ever. They listened when I told them not to do something. They walked into the hospital, hand in hand with Alice close behind.

They almost lost it and screamed when they saw Bella propped up in her bed. I held both of their shoulders and they apologized before going to Bella's side.

"Hi, Mommy." Brooklyn said, handing her the clump of yellow weed's she'd found before we left.

"Thank you, sweetie. I miss you, you too Kenzie." She said, cupping both of their cheeks in her hands. I watched Bella interacting with the girls for the first time in months and almost cried. It got harder everyday to see her lying her, and every time she was wheeled into another surgery, I lost all feeling in my body until she was wheeled back into her room.

"And then, Daddy sang to us. He sang My Girls...you remember that, don't you Mommy?" Brooklyn asked, as she told Bella about our night last night.

"Yeah, kiddo. I remember that song." She said, and I could see the pain in her eyes. She missed them so much, it hurt to watch. After about an hour, I could tell Bella was fighting to stay awake. The medicine they had her on made her sleep, often.

"Hey, girls? Mommy needs to rest now so Ali is going to take you home." I said and they sighed.

"Just ten more minutes, Daddy." Mackenzie begged.

"Mackenzie, it's time to go home." I could see the tears welling up in her eyes and felt horrible. This was the first time they'd seen their mother in months and I was taking it away.

"Kenzie, baby, if your good and go with Ali, Daddy will bring you back tomorrow." Bella said. Both girls looked at me, plead in theirs eyes. I smiled and nodded to them. They took a long time to say goodbye, and after ten minutes had gone with Ali. I went to sit by Bella, taking her hands in mine. "I just want to go home." She cried, a tear sliding down her face.

"I know, honey. I want you home too. I hate seeing you like this." I said, letting my own tears fall.

"Thank you for being there for them these last few weeks. You're are such a good father to them."

"They're everything to me. You, Ali, Emmett, and the twins. You five are my life." I whispered as I kissed her hand.

* * *

><p><strong>Fourteen Years Later<strong>

Bella and I tiptoed up the stairs, a plate of pancakes in both of our hands. I gently turned the knob to Brooklyn's room, as Bella opened Mackenzie's.

"One. Two. Three." I whispered before kicking the door open. "HAPY BIRTHDAY!" We both screamed. My babies were grown up. They were sixteen today, no longer were they my babies. I lost it when Ali turned sixteen, and this was almost unbearable. They grew up so fast, and although we had our ten year old, Derek, it pained me that my baby girls...weren't babies any more.

Brooklyn lit up and ran over to me, throwing her arms around my neck. Even though they were sixteen, they were still Daddy's littles girls. The four of us had always had a good relationship. There were times when they'd probably wanted to kill both of us, and Bella and I couldn't stant their attitudes, but for the most part, we'd always been close.

"Thank you!" They said at the same time. We walked downstairs, putting the plates down and fixing three more plates. After they were almost done eating, Bella left the table to get their presents. She came back just as Derek was rinsing everyone's plates at the sink. She put the boxes in front of them and they smiled, carefully opening them. Once the boxes were unwrapped, they looked at us.

"Open them." Bella urged as she sat down on my lap. They opened the boxes and screamed. In the boxes, were copies of the keys to our cars. "No, its not your own car...but you two can start studying for your permit and then get your liscense when you're ready." Bella said and they jumped, running over and huging both of us. We stayed in the kitchen for a bit longer before they went upstairs to get ready for the party.

"You think they liked the present?" I joked as we started getting the decorations out for the party.

"Just a little bit. Hey, Derek! Come here please!" Bella called as our son came running down the steps.

"Yeah, Mom?"

"You wanna play DJ tonight?" She asked and his face lit up. He was almost exactly like Emmett, and his big brother had shone him the ropes.

"I can do that?"

"Yeah, Emmett's going to bring over the system he has and he told me he wants to pass the torch to his little brother." I told him.

"Well...then DUH! I wanna play DJ!" He screamed.

"Okay, why don't you get your sisters music ideas and you can make a playlist." Bella told him as he raced upstairs. Emmett, Rosalie, Payton, and Addisyn arrived shortly after and Emmett began showing Derek how to work the sound system. Payton and Addisyn went upstairs to be with the girls. By the time Alice and her crew got their, it was time for the party to start.

"Girls! You better get down here!" I called upstairs. Addisyn came to the top of the stairs, giggling as usual.

"Presenting the birthday girls! MACKENZIE AND BROOKLYN!" She yelled as Emmett came into the room, scooping Addisyn into his arms. I heard their doors open and then they emerged at the top of the steps. I stopped breathing. They looked just like their mother. They were so grownup, it wasn't fair. I hadn't had enough time with them, and I never would. They smiled at me once they were down the stairs, and were blushing just like their mother.

"Girls...you look...so beautiful." I gushed.

"Thanks, Daddy." Mackenzie said, hugging me tightly. Once she had let go and was in the dining room with the others, Brooklyn lingered. I loved the girls equally, but Brooklyn and I had a different relationship than Mackenzie and I did.

"What's up, sweetie?" I asked and she wrapped her hands around my neck.

"Thank you. So much." She whispered in my ear.

"Well, this is what you two wanted."

"No, not the party. I mean thank you for always being their for me. For being the best Dad a girl...well two girls could ask for. I love you so much." She whispered.

"I wouldn't have done it any differently even if I had the choice." I whispered.

* * *

><p><strong>Ten Years Later<strong>

I stood in the bathroom, almost feeling sick. I didn't know why, my first two kids had been married and I hadn't felt sick to my stomach. But the thought of giving away Brooklyn killed something inside of me. She was my last little baby girl. She was five minutes younger than her sister, meaning she really was my last little girl. I heard a knock on the door and went to leave. But when I opened the door and saw Bella standing their, I let her in.

"Hey you." She whispered as I took her hand.

"Hi." I whispered. She cupped my face and gently kissed me on the lips.

"You aren't loosing her, Carlisle. She's always going to come back. Plus, Mackenzie isn't married yet."

"She will be in three months though." I argued. This was too much. Giving away Ali was hard, but the thought of giving Mackenzie away in only three months was unbearable to think about. "It's just that...they're all grown up. Even Derek is growing up too quickly. I mean, college guy, a steady girlfriend. I mean...I've always had kids in my house and now...now none of them are kids. Emmett and Alice have families. Brooklyn is going to start her's after today."

"I know, honey. I know. It's hard for me too. But our daughter is so in love with him. And he is so good for her, Carlisle."

"I know, it's just hard to think he's her number one guy now."

"I think you're always going to be her number one guy." She smiled as I leaned down to kiss her. "Now, the ceremony starts soon and Brooklyn wants to see you." She said, opening the door and grabbing my hand. She had to practically drag me into bride's room. I saw the back of her in her wedding dress and almost lost it. She's getting married today. She turned around, her face was glowing.

"Daddy? What do you think?" She asked as Mackenzie smoothed out her dress. I walked towards her, and grabbed her hands in mine.

"You've never looked more beautiful." I said, letting a tear escape my eyes. She brought her hands up to my face, and gently wiped it away.

"Dad, don't cry or I'm gonna cry...and Ali would be super pissed if I ruined my make up." She laughed, making me laugh as well. Soon enough, it was time to begin lining up to walk down the aisle. As each bridesmaid, and groomsman walked down, it got closer and closer to our turn. Soon, Mackenzie and Jared, Caleb's little brother were walking down the aisle. Once they reached the front of the church, Pachelbel's Canon began to play and we began to walk down the aisle.

I looked down at Caleb and saw nothing but love for my daughter. He was always good to her, and I'd grown to love him. But today, I felt a small sense of hate for him. He was taking my daughter away from him. We reached the front of the church, and she let go of me and took his hand. At that moment, I realized I was no longer the one she'd come to if she was upset, I wasn't the one she'd come to if she had a bad day. It was him she'd be going to. He'd be the one at the breakfast table, saying good morning. He'd be the one to hug her when she was upset.

"Who gives this woman to be married?" The reverend asked. I looked up.

"Her mother and I do." I said and began walking to my seat. Woman? She wasn't a woman. She was my little girl. But, she really wasn't a girl anymore. She was twenty-six years old. She was being married today. As I watched them standing at the altar together, looking so lovingly into each other's eyes, something began to hurt.

"Brooklyn, do you take Caleb to be your wedded husband, and in the presence of these witnesses do you vow that you will do everything in your power to make your love for him a growing part of your life? Will you continue to strengthen it from day to day and week to week with your best resources? Will you stand by him in sickness or in health, in poverty or in wealth, and will you shun all others and keep yourself to him alone as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." She said in almost a whisper. I tensed up. I do. Two simple words, yet they mean so much to a man and a woman. Those two words, seemed to make everything real, and I grabbed Bella's hand. She looked over at me and smiled, squeezing my hand tightly. The ceremony kept it's pace, and soon, they had both rings on their fingers.

"Now that Brooklyn and Caleb have given themselves to each other by the promises they have exchanged, I pronounce them to be husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." The reverand said and she grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him towards her. The room irrupted into applause, and I saw Mackenzie trying to wipe away her tears while jumping with joy. The music began to play and they began walking back up the aisle. She stopped by me, and gave me a tight hug.

"I love you, Daddy." She whispered before letting me go and walking again. Once pictures were done, everyone proceeded to the reception hall. When they walked in as the DJ pronounced the Mr. and Mrs. Caleb Scott. Mrs. Scott. No longer Brooklyn Cullen. The reception was going swimingly, and soon enough, it was time for my last dance with my baby.

I walked out onto the dance floor and met her in the middle as Have I Told You Lately came on over the speaker system. She smiled at me before falling into my arms. She laid her head on my shoulder as we danced, and we were silent for a while. She finally picked her head up and looked at me.

"I love you, Daddy. So much. Thank you for everything."

"Oh, sweetie. You don't even know how much you mean to me. You, your sisters, and brothers. You five, along with your mother mean everything to me. I can't even begin to explain how much I'm going to miss you."

"Dad, we're not going anywhere. We're only half hour away." She whispered, laying her head on my chest again. I squeezed her tightly, trying to muster the words.

"Brooklyn, you aren't going far, but you're still going, sweetie. After Emmett's and Ali's mother died, I didn't think I'd ever love again. But then I met your mother, and everything seemed to fall in place. When we married, life was perfect...but then we had you girls and perfect couldn't even begin to describe my life. You girls, were my whole world."

"Daddy..."

"And in my eyes, you're still my little girl...and always will be. Mackenzie too. I love you baby doll." I said, kissing the top of her head. She looked up, and her eyes wet with tears. I looked around the room and Bella was just as emotional as Brooklyn and I were. The song ended, but we didn't let go until Caleb came and swept her away from me.

The night progressed smoothly, and one by one, people began to leave. Soon, it was just the family left. Tables were being cleared off, the DJ was cleaning up, and we were all gathered around in a circle, waiting for the bride and groom to come back from changing. I almost lost it as they came back into the room, changed and ready to go on their honeymoon. They went around the circle, saying goodbye to everyone and soon, it was Brooklyn's time to say goodbye to me.

"Daddy..."

"Brooklyn, I think we've said everything we need to say. Just promise me something."

"Anything, Dad."

"Promise me that you'll always come home." I said and her eyes filled with tears again. She threw herself into my arms, hugging me tightly.

"Always, Daddy. Always." She whispered as I kissed the top of her head.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Well thank you for reading this little outtake. I was just listening to Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle and thought of this story and the twins. I don't know, I just felt like after they had the twins, they weren't involved much and I wanted to give them more. And then at the end of the story, we find out Bella is pregnant again and I wanted to touch on that a little bit. If you listen to Butterfly Kisses, you will see how it matches each section of this chapter. So anyway, thank you so much for reading _Dark Roads_!**


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